Ask A Dude: Cologne & Haircuts
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Today we’re kicking off a new column: “Ask A Dude,” wherein our in-house expert, John Ortved, will answer guy grooming and lifestyle questions.
“How often should I moisturize?” John can tell you.
“What will drinking kale do for my sex drive?” John’s got the juicy details.
“Is there a form of music that physically gets people in the mood?” There is, and John can point you to the playlist (It’s Drake).
“Will a low-carb diet make me thin?” John has the skinny (and he thinks you should eat more fruit).
Have a question, go ahead and ask him at [email protected].
Do I really need to wear cologne? The stuff I use in the shower smells pretty good—isn’t that enough?
What you are referring to, most likely, isn’t cologne but a scent, or fragrance. We use “cologne” as an across-the-board term (as we do with “macaroni” for any ovular noodle we eat with cheese), but it’s actually a very specific alcohol-based mixture of various notes. Regardless—cologne, scent, fragrance—you definitely don’t need to wear them; nobody does, in fact. Here is a sentence no woman, or man, has ever said: “I like him, he’s a good guy: respectful, kind, funny, nice package—if only he would wear more cologne, then I might be interested.” Not one. Ever.
That said, occasionally we find a scent that really speaks to us. They can be pricey, but that’s ok because we’re only ever using the tiniest amount— right? Just a touch on the wrist, a dab on the neck and that’s it; a 2-ounce bottle of cologne should last you an entire year. For me, it’s one of Frederic Maille’s editions. (I’ll never say which one, not even under torture, which, incidentally, is sitting next to someone wearing Axe deodorant spray in a confined space ).
What may be more important here is this “stuff” you’re using in the shower. Many scented soaps and body washes have the same noisome properties as the cologne I’m deriding above. I suggest erring on the side of the subtly scented. Aveeno, Dove, and Nivea make soaps with the light touch I’m talking about. I suppose part of the joy of life is being able to run around smelling like a summer blackberry if that’s what you so choose, but in the world of scent, less is more.
I took a picture of Ryan Gosling to the guy who cuts my hair, but it didn’t make me look like Ryan Gosling. How do I figure out what haircut to get?
I took a picture of Zac Efron to the orphanage, and the kid they gave me didn’t look a thing like him, so I know how you’re feeling.
I understand the drive to bring a picture from a magazine to a hair stylist. But the problem may be more with your expectations than anything the “the guy who cuts my hair” might have done. An image from a magazine can give a direction for a style, but that’s it, really.
Chances are, before Ryan Gosling had that photo taken he spent hours in a chair being prepped by the industry’s top groomers. Moreover, Ryan Gosling has different hair than you (I’ve heard it’s so sturdy that countries have used it to prop up their economies). Texture, parts, thickness, and angle of growth can vary so wildly from guy to guy that it’s not always reasonable to expect your haircut to approximate someone else’s.
Think of it like going to the gym. With the right discipline, diet and program, your abs might become as defined as those in the picture of Brad Pitt circa “Fight Club” that you brought to your trainer, but you’re still not going to look like Brad Pitt.
Talk to the guy who cuts your hair about the look you’re going for, and ask what he thinks might work with your natural hair texture. If your visions are too far apart, it may be time to try a new snipster—which can be a fun experiment in itself. But don’t go writing anyone off because they couldn’t give you famous hair.
