Healing Through Yoga: Omni Kitts Ferrara
Yoga Instructor Omni Kitts Ferrara
When Omni Kitts Ferrara checked into an eating disorder rehabilitation program at the age of 18, all she heard was “You will be broken forever.” Ferrara, who was a dancer at the time, rejected the notion that she’d always have an eating disorder. “I knew that I wasn’t this sad piece of a person who would never be “normal”; that is just not how I looked at myself.” But the one-month in-patient and eight-month outpatient program—involving everything from anti-depressants to sleeping pills, therapy to constant weigh-ins—didn’t work. “I remember thinking I don’t need to be medicated to get past this, I need to be educated to get past this,” she says. “There just had to be another way.”
Ferrara’s issues with food might have been minimized, but it wasn’t until she discovered yoga at 22 that her whole perspective changed—regarding her body, but also her sense of self. Ferrara began studying Anusara Yoga, a combination of yogic philosophy and traditional poses. The philosophies had a profound effect on Ferrara. “The first thing they say in yoga is that your body works, you just have to learn to be in a body,” she says. “It was the opposite of what I had been told by therapists and doctors. I felt like I had found my safe haven.”
The concept of developing a positive relationship with her body was a simple but transformational idea, especially for a young dancer. “Yoga completely shifted the way I thought about myself,” Ferrara says. “It’s a path to body acceptance, but its not an easy one.” And change didn’t happen overnight. But the more Ferrara practiced and learned about the philosophies behind the centuries-old practice, the more she felt herself healing. “The path of yoga reminds you that you have to work—being alive takes work. As you go through difficult yoga poses, you notice things that feel tight and intense, but it also gives you that recognition that you are strong and capable, even in the face of incredible intensity.” With physical power came emotional strength: “You get better at dealing with the things in your life that hurt or feel intense. You just think, ‘I can do this.” You learn how to coach yourself with affirmation.”
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Not surprisingly, Ferrara believes that many of her body image issues stemmed from the dance world. “That whole world is focused on a particular aesthetic and what the body should look like,” she says. “There is so much negative body talk in the dance world, you have to focus on something else.” Through yoga, Ferrara learned to focus on a healthier approach to eating that wasn’t about diets or weight loss or calories. “The whole Indian mind starts with a different premise on life. Food is not the enemy…eating is a privilege! When I thought of food that way my whole lens shifted.”
Now 34, Ferrara runs two yoga studios in New Jersey and continues to practice dance. She’s also the mother of two children, and thrives on teaching other women about what she has learned and “how to work with their incredible bodies.” Now she sees her body as something powerful, something that can heal. “I honor the fact that food keeps me alive now, and I have such incredible respect for my body.”