'It’s Not Cool or Uncool, It’s Just Facial Hair'
By Ned Hepburn
Facial hair on the lower half of the face (or, the “beard”) has been around for centuries, and has often heralded as a sign of masculinity and virility. In certain circles, they are also a sign of kinship to popular singer and songwriter Bob Seger. But when White House Press Secretary Jay Carney wore what could best be described as a scruffy hipster beard last week, the media went... well... somewhat overboard with their reaction.
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The Observer's Drew Grant says “Brooklyn residents who want to stand out in a crowd don’t rock a full beard ... but a baby-bottom-smooth cheek.” The New York Times went so far as to definitively declare that “The Brooklyn Beard Goes Mainstream.” It bears the question... perhaps asked with a godawful Carrie Bradshaw-esque inflection: beards used to to be the hippest thing just a few years ago, but now that the mainstream has adopted them ... are beards uncool?
We've certainly reached peak beard in popular culture. From travel mugs to women's scarves, you don't even need to own a beard to own a beard these days. Anything this culturally accepted is bound to have some blowback, no?
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In the pro-beard corner sits professional comedian Kyle Kinane. Kinane is 37, is the owner of one of stand-up's most recognizable beards, and has been sporting it, as he puts it, “full-time since 2007.” As for the notion of whether beards are cool or uncool, Kinane says “It's not cool or uncool. It's just facial hair. I don't even know why the New York Times is commenting on it or why you're writing an article in retaliation. It's just a fcking beard. To make it about something more is pointless. I have one because I was sick of shaving and having razor burn and ingrown hairs.” Kyle later went on to say “I hate this article” about the very notion of this actual article, so there's that, too.
But to others, beards are terrible. Let's not forget, says trumpeter and man-about-town John Brandon, 29, that a beard is basically no more than little weird things that grow out of your face. “My face is my tabula rasa, the blank slate on which I write life,” he writes. “Would you start a book on a dirty pad of paper? Nay, and I shall not start my day with a beard on my face.”
As for the original Times article on the mainstreaming of the beard, Mr. Brandon replied somewhat combatively, “Ha! They’re kind to start with the premise that beards were ever “cool.” Are men trying to assert some masculinity they feel can’t be achieved with a smooth face? What would these urban lumberjacks even know about feelings? I don’t know, but I’m busy living life while others wallow in their jawline-obscuring facial hair.”
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It may be best to leave the beards up to the professionals. Some people in this world are born to have great facial hair, and others just look plain stupid with it. While we are most certainly living in “Peak Beard” right now, and while this level of fervor may not be sustainable, perhaps we should just enjoy it while it lasts. Since (literally) time began there has always been an ebb and wane with the popularity of the beard, and if beard fanaticism retreats then it'll just take another influx of artists to make it cool all over again a few years later.
I say: Let the people have their beard cake and eat it, too. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Photo: Getty Images
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