Miracle “Twinblings” Celebrate Their 1st Birthday
Nancy and Justin Rohde struggled with infertility for years before they hired a surrogate, then-30-year-old Ashley Brown, to carry their first child. But just as Ashley was beginning to inject herself with hormones to prepare for Nancy and Justin's embryo, Nancy was shocked to find out she was pregnant. Because of Nancy's history with infertility, they decided to continue forward with Ashley's surrogacy, in case Nancy had a miscarriage. One month later, Ashley became pregnant too, and last spring, the Rohdes welcomed their miracle "twinblings" - Lillian Quinn (“Lilly”) born to Nancy in Chicago on May 2, 2016, and Audrey Eleanor born to Ashley in Salt Lake City on June 7 the same year. They shared their emotional story and birth photos with Cosmopolitan.com.
Now, a year later, the Rohdes reunited with Ashley in Chicago to celebrate Lilly's and Audrey’s first birthdays. Here, they talk about how their relationship has evolved over the past year.
Ashley, you gave birth to Audrey last year, and a few days later, the Rohdes took her back to Chicago and you went back to parenting your three biological kids. What did it feel like to let go of Audrey after carrying her for nine months?
Ashley: It was a crazy year - all the medications and shots and appointments and blood draws - and then labor and delivery was kind of rough. It was emotional; your hormones kind of take over. It was hard at first, but then I also had my kids to take care of and life goes on. For me, this year has gone really fast - because I haven't had to take care of two newborns. But I have to admit, I was jealous of their nanny. Because I'm like, "She just gets to be with them every day and I'm all the way over here in Utah."
Nancy and Justin, what were the hardest parts of the past year?
Nancy: The day we returned from Utah to Chicago, we had no help at all. We walked into our house and the girls just totally lost their shit.
Justin: It was the middle of June, like, 85 degrees, and as we walk in with two screaming babies, one of our cats throws up on the floor.
Nancy: The sleep was so challenging...
Justin: We used to each take a baby. So l would have Audrey one night and Nancy would have Lilly, and the next night, we'd switch.
Did you ever feel like you weren’t allowed to complain, after all the years you spent hoping for a baby?
Nancy: We were pretty careful not to fall into that trap. When I was going through infertility, my counselor had talked to me about, "Don't feel like you always have to be happy and you have to be supermom or superdad," because it's just not reality. You're going to have moments like any other parents where you're frustrated and tired.
You always planned to stay in Ashley's life and for her to stay in yours. What did your relationship look like over this last year?
Nancy: When Ashley was pregnant with Audrey, we were in constant touch over email and text, and that naturally fell away after Audrey was born, but it was immediately replaced by this Tinybeans app we use to share photos with our family, and Ashley too.
Ashley: It's, like, my favorite thing ever. I've gotten to see [Audrey] every day of her life. I see when they're eating food and when they're crawling and her teeth. My husband's like, "Are you checking on the baby again?" He'll get after me. I'm like, "I'm just curious!" I like to see how they are and all the fun things that they get to do as a family. It's almost like I'm a grandma or an aunt.
Nancy: She sends the girls Christmas gifts, Halloween gifts. For Audrey's half-year birthday, she sent us a package with a little party hat for Audrey that had “?” on it and noisemakers and hats for all of us. She had saved some party hats for her family to wear, and they put them on in Utah and we all took pictures celebrating at the same time. It was so special.
We have a family photo album that we look at every day with the girls and we have a picture of Ashley holding Audrey in her first week. We want to make sure Audrey understands where she came from and that Ashley is always talked about. I say, "Here is Mrs. Ashley. She carried Audrey for nine months. Wasn't that nice of her?" One evening, Audrey had gotten a hold of the photo album and turned to the photo of Ashley and was gently touching the photo - it was such a sweet moment.
Nancy and Justin, do you consider having more kids? And, Ashley, would you ever be a surrogate again?
Ashley: Six months after giving birth to Audrey, I emailed Nancy like, "So, I'm just throwing this out there. You know, I'm good to go now." [Ashley’s doctor had given her the OK to go through the surrogacy process again.] If Nancy had said, "Yeah, OK,” I would've jumped on board. Because we've already got that relationship.
Nancy: I think that for the moment we are done.
Justin: Maybe we'll change our minds in the future, but I think we're just now coming into the time where it's more fun than hard.
Ashley: I've actually been matched with a new couple. It’s in the very early stages. I went back and forth for a really long time. It was such a great experience the first time; I was worried about getting parents that maybe wouldn't want me to be involved after. But I thought, “If my body can handle it and I can help one more family have a baby, I've got to do it."
What has surprised all of you the most over the last year?
Justin: [The girls] have completely different personalities. Lilly is very extroverted. She's strong-willed. She's always pointing and she's always curious. Audrey is really focused. She will sit with a book or with a toy, and she will laugh or smile in a much more subtle way.
Nancy: I was expecting to cry a lot at the party but I didn't except for one time. We gave a speech and I happened to be standing right behind the girls' highchairs such that Audrey's head was right in my line of vision as I looked at Ashley. I felt overcome with gratitude. Like so many things in our journey, it felt very surreal in that moment. How did we get so lucky?
Little Audrey wouldn't be here without Ashley and we can't imagine our family without Audrey. She is the most laid-back person in our family, so much so that I wonder if she took on some of Ashley's wonderful calm and collected traits while Ashley was baking our little Audrey bun. Audrey's pure sweetness reminds me of Ashley often, and fills my heart with constant gratitude and wonder.
Ashley: I am just as grateful. Seeing all their excitement, the journey means so much more to me now than it even did when I was [carrying Audrey]. Every time I see a picture, it just makes me feel happy that they get to experience that and I helped them achieve that goal. As I held Audrey [at the party], I thought of her blonde hair and blue eyes. Never thought I would carry a baby with those features. And although she does not have any part of me, she is now a part of who I am.
Read the story about the Rohde twinblings' birth: What Happens When You and Your Surrogate Get Pregnant at the Same Time? You Have "Twinblings."
Photos by Julie Dietz Photography.
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