Emily Sundberg

An Ode to Retirement Beards

Emily Sundberg

Fri, March 25, 2016 at 8:13 PM UTC

David Letterman — The current standard-bearer of the retirement beard doesn’t appear to have shaved since his show ended in May. Letterman has also embraced going bald and chilling out on the island of St. Barts.

While working on *Mad Men,* a show primarily set in the ’60s, when a beard at the office was just not done — Stan’s beard didn’t make an appearance until it was almost the ’70s — Jon Hamm often had to shave two or three times a day. Can you blame him for letting it grow?

When his contract for *The Colbert Report* ended in December 2014, Stephen Colbert already knew he was taking over the *Late Show* in September 2015. That didn’t stop him from rocking a semi-retirement beard for a little under a year.

After five seasons as *Breaking Bad*’s mostly bald and goatee-wearing Walter White, Bryan Cranston went in another direction with his post-show grooming: as a dashing robber baron.

After 16 seasons — with a small break to direct a movie — Jon Stewart has settled into semi-retirement with a well-groomed beard and a farm sanctuary for abused animals. Seriously, how can you not love him?

Conan O’Brien earned his retirement beard the hard way. After a very short run as the host of *The Tonight Show*, the comic was unceremoniously ousted by Jay Leno. Can you blame him for wanting to give his face a break?

When Joaquin Phoenix quit acting for a year to pursue a career as a rapper, many assumed it was a joke. The very messy beard added to the strangeness, as did the resulting documentary, *I’m Still Here*. He returned to a clean-shaven look for more recent films, like *The Master* and *Her*.

After the second season of *The Last Man on Earth,* in which Will Forte wore a full beard, the comic actor shaved his beard, head, and eyebrow — on one side. It’s … a lot of look.

Believe it or not, retirement beards are a real thing — and we fully support the movement. Many men — especially in the corporate, suit-wearing world — don’t get the chance to play with their grooming routines the way women do.

It’s still not that uncommon for beards to be banned at workplaces. Disney, for example, has only allowed its theme park workers to grow beards and goatees as of a 2012 policy change. And the Miami Marlins recently reinstated an old no-facial-hair policy for players.

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Related: Howard Stern Named Best Hair in America

So, when a man eases into retirement or is between jobs, he will sometimes let his hair down — on his chin and maybe his neck. The current standard-bearer is David Letterman, whose not-safe-for-TV beard has been the subject of much discussion lately (to say the least). This seems to be his very own version of the ultimate retirement fantasy.

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