Hank Azaria Delivers Commencement Address at Tufts University With a Little Help From His ‘Simpsons’ Counterparts
Photo: Getty Images
Getting life lessons from Hank Azaria is cool and everything, but hearing from Moe Szyslak and Chief Wiggum is even cooler.
The actor and comedian, 52, returned to his alma mater, Tufts University in Medford, Mass., on Sunday to deliver the commencement address. And while the five-time Emmy winner, who was part of the class of 1987, offered up some great advice (embrace “who you really are”), it was the cameos by his Simpsons counterparts — including Chief Wiggum, Moe, Comic Book Guy, and the Sea Captain — who offered up some of the best takeaways.
“When in doubt, always pull out the Simpsons voices. That’s my first bit of advice,” the Ray Donovan star, who has also appeared in movies from The Birdcage to Night at the Museum, cracked before launching into Comic Book Guy. “Hello. Life is like the Star Wars movies. Some of it is great, some of it sucks, but you have no choice but to sit through all of it,” he quipped as the comic shopkeep. “Very similar to the commencement speech you are listening to right now.”
As Chief Wiggum, he offered some advice should the grads find themselves on the wrong side of the law: “Kids, you didn’t hear this from me, but if a cop even thinks you’re going to throw up in their backseat, they will immediately let you go. No crime is worth having to clean yack out of a seatbelt hole. Also, if you’re ever wearing a body camera, take it off when you go to the bathroom. That will end up on YouTube.”
Some of Azaria’s jokes were more Boston-centric. For example, as Moe the bartender, he got in a dig at local rival Boston University. “Yeah, all right, I didn’t have the benefit of a fancy, highfalutin education,” he said as the drink slinger. “I went to BU. Yeah, at least Tufts has a campus. I majored in not getting hit by cars on Commonwealth Avenue.” And as the Old Sea Captain, he said, “Kids, remember the sea is a cruel mistress, but Medford is worse, so you’ll be fine.”
Two of Azaria’s Simpsons counterparts: Moe and Chief Wiggum (Photo: Fox)
While Azaria certainly got some laughs during his speech, he also gave some down-to-earth — yet still amusing — advice.
“At the end of the day, what is right for somebody else, even if that somebody else is most of society, may not be right for you,” he said. “I’m not suggesting you ignore the rules of society, or laws of common sense, or the actual law, or your teachers, or your advisers, or the Internet, or all the other sources that are happy to tell you the right and wrong way to go about doing almost everything. Just please be honest with yourself about what you think and how you feel about all of that. Those feelings are called your instincts, and you ignore them at your own peril.”
Azaria also told the crowd that he wasn’t much of a student in his Tufts days, but it’s where he “discovered acting and my love of theater.” He said he spent much of his time in drama classes and “hanging out with kindred spirits … not really caring about whether I was given an A, or an F, or pass, or fail. I studied what interested me and what I enjoyed.”
When it came time to graduate in 1985, he was two credits shy. The “kind and ever-compassionate administration” allowed him to walk with his classmates, but he received an empty diploma box. He completed his degree in 1987 while living and looking for acting work in Los Angeles.
Azaria was one of six individuals awarded honorary degrees at the ceremony. Sadly, Moe and Chief Wiggum did not receive honorary degrees.