The Best of the Worst Craigslist DIY'ers

If you thought Craigslist was just for those trying to get rid of old furniture and outdated stereo equipment, think again. The popular online resource for all things second-hand is also rife with people trying to sell (or in some cases, just give away) their DIY creations.

When you spend a little time browsing the homemade offerings scattered throughout Craigslist, you may be pretty shocked and amazed at what you find. There are some incredible artists touting their work and you could stumble upon a gem or two.

Of course, you may also find the other posts. The ones so odd you can’t help but question whether they are for real. We think of these as the best of the worst. Posts so peculiar, it’s impossible not to enjoy them. Though we commend every attempt at creativity, we strongly question any efforts to actually sell and make money off of these strange crafts. But as a fun reminder of all the strange things people decide to make with their own two hands? Sure, we’ll happily buy that.

The text from these posts has been lightly edited, but we’ve tried to preserve the unique poetry in the original listing. Sadly, they have all expired since being listed earlier this year, which means you won’t be able to contact the seller.

You’re free, of course, to DIY your own version, though.

“Yard Swing”

Photo: Craigslist 

Nashville, Tennessee. $25

“Real nice yard swing for sell. Real comfortable. Might have a few dog hairs on it but they will brush right off. Green all-weather cover beside fence is included. Tikee torch not included but will sale for 25.00.”

The fact that the “tikee” torch is not included with this swing, is a deal breaker for us. Well, that and the dog hair.

“Vomiting Man Sprinkler/Yard Art”

Photo: Craigslist

Spokane, Washington. Price unknown. Delivery $20

“I built this guy last Friday & used him to water the lawn all day Saturday. People driving past, gawked at him like they had never seen a guy vomiting a steady stream of water all over the place. I put an ad to offer to sell him on here under "arts & crafts” on Sunday, but didn’t get any takers. I did get one very nice piece of fan mail from someone called the Dragon Planter and of course a couple pieces of spam. At 1st, I thought I might just keep him, but then thought somebody else might be more “into him” then I am. So am advertising again, and updating this ad on Friday the 17th. He is life size & made from articulated steel rods w/a detachable ceramic head. The top of which is actually a planter that can have plants planted in it. He can be posed in pretty much any position a real human can pose in. 
He would be good for filling a swimming pool. I think if you dressed him like a cowboy & wired him to the fence, he’d make a pretty good stock tank filler too.“

Dressed up as a cowboy, we may give this a second thought. Seriously though, it’s a garden hose "sculpture” that simulates a man throwing up. Points for creativity, but that’s about it.

“Beautiful Wedding Book Arch”

Photo: Craigslist

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Price unknown. Comparable value $3,000

“I’m selling this book arch that was the centerpiece of our wedding ceremony. It was custom built from sturdy metal tubing legs with welded feet, an aluminum top arch, and a wooden base to keep it steady. The books have all been drilled out to fit on the frame.  It is currently in pieces (books are heavy and it would be virtually impossible to move fully assembled), but the price includes the frame, base and the 4 large rubbermaid bins of books. It takes a little work to put together, but totally worth it. Before building this ourselves, we looked into having it made for us, and were quoted upwards of $3,000.”

We hate to judge a craft project by its cover, but thanks but no thanks.

“Custom Shoe Rack”

Photo: Craigslist 

Colorado Springs, Colorado. $25

“I have a custom shoe rack I made and I am selling for $25.”

We love pallet projects, but does this constitute a project? And $25? Only if it includes the cute pink rain boots.

“Homemade Motorcycle”

Photo: Craigslist

Atlanta, Georgia. Price unknown

“I have a homemade bike me and my brother built many years ago. Runs and drives but the back tire kind of rides sideways. The seat blew out a few years ago and I made do with a sofa cushion, duct tape and a couple of 2x 4’s ( the ultimate fix! ). It runs like a champ but does smoke alot especially if you are hard on the gas. Uses about a quart of oil for each gas fillup. I usually just put the oil directly in the gas as it is going to burn it anyway and that way it is easy. Can’t drive over 12 miles or so at a time as the motor gets red hot and starts loosing power so probably a good bike for someone who drives locally. Does backfire and squeel pretty loud occasionally so I usually wear earplugs of some kind. DOES NOT pass emissions so would need to be registered in a county without emissions check. Great first bike otherwise!”

We fear for our lives a little with this one. Apart from the fact that it smokes, drives crooked and requires earplugs, it’s a great first ride? It sounds like it may be a great last ride.

“Deathtrap”

Photo: Craigslist

Phoenix, Arizona $150

“It’s your lucky day! you are looking at the "DEATHTRAP.” The steerable 3hp McLane tiff mower with a brand new (well, slightly used) bright red hand truck attached as a sled. You’ll be the coolest guy in the Wal-Mart parking lot when you pull up in your new ride to pick-up some more PBR. This baby will do a (barely controllable) 20+mph but drives comfortably at 10mph. Bring good shoes because it has no brakes… You also get a beautiful re-purposed brown and white kitchen dinette arm chair (an heirloom from my mother) The seat is adjustable to accommodate the rider’s height. If you choose this “deathtrap” you also get the optional seating, catcher basket! $150.00 . HURRY, there’s only one…. John Deer cap, not included.“

No brakes? No way. Thank goodness there’s only one!

"Alien Creature I Created for Art Class”

Photo: Craigslist

Los Angeles, California. Price unknown

“Killer female alien i made for art class out of sculpey. you pick up. has small crack on side of ankle. you can glue it back together.”

We admire the candor here. Oh, there’s a small crack? Well, darn it, that is a deal-breaker. Otherwise we were totally sold.

“Sharpie Napkin Portraits”

Photo: Craigslist

Charleston, South Carolina. Free

“I draw sharpie on napkin portraits only. Must send an email with clear forward facing picture. Nothing else is necessary. Upon completion I will hide the picture at a public place in your area and send you instruction on how to retrieve it. I don’t want your money, and I don’t want to meet you.”

Admittedly, the treasure hunt element of this is slightly intriguing. But we don’t think we’ll be sending any personal forward-facing pictures to strangers.

“2010 Avocado for Sale”

Photo: Craigslist

New York, New York. Price unknown

“I’m selling this mint 2010 AVOCADO, 2-door, 24,000 miles, original owner, car is all custom and on Fiat chassis. Needs minor bondo. Only used for delivering Sammie’s. Want to sell ASAP, need money for 2014 Kiwi. Call or text (***)-***-**** ok to contact anytime of day ”

This avocado car is the pits! (Sorry.) But the Kiwi car has us a little excited.

Craigslist, we thank you for the laughs. Keep them coming in 2015, please.