32 Hilarious Mike Myers Quotes From SNL And Movies

Easily one of the most legendary SNL stars of the 1990s is Mike Myers — the star and creator of numerous beloved SNL sketches, from “Wayne’s World” to “Coffee Talk.” However, you could say that his most unforgettable characters come from the big screen, like shag-a-delic spy Austin Powers or the titular ogre from the Shrek movies. Well, we decided to take a look at both Saturday Night Live and our favorite Mike Myers movies to find our picks for the comedian’s funniest quotes.

"A Nerd Says, 'What?'" - Saturday Night Live

Cable access TV host Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) has used various iterations of this disorienting gag on his guests. In a 2011 edition of “Wayne’s World,” it’s at the expense of co-host, Garth Algar (Dana Carvey), after he explains an eyepatch does not actually make Jeff Bridges’ role in 2010’s True Grit “cycloptic.”

"That Must Be Lord Farquaad's Castle. Do You Think Maybe He's Compensating For Something?" - Shrek

What makes 2001’s Shrek a kids movie the whole family will love is jokes like this that adults can appreciate. Of course, what the titular ogre (Mike Myers) doesn’t realize at that time is that Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) makes his kingdom large to counteract his height.

"Who Throws A Shoe? Honestly!" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

One of Dr. Evil’s minions, Random Task, is a clear parody of Oddjob from one of the best James Bond movies, Goldfinger. While that villain’s signature gimmick was a throwable, razor-edged bowler hat, in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Random Task just throws his shoe.

"HEAD! MOVE!" - So I Married An Axe Murderer

One of the first times Mike Myers took on multiple characters in one title was in So I Married an Axe Murderer, in which he plays beat poet Charlie MacKenzie and his father, Stuart. In one of the darkly funny 1993 rom-com’s funniest moments, Stuart bluntly tells his younger son, William (Matt Doherty), to get his “huge noggin” out of the way of the TV, which sounds like “Heed! Move!” in his thick Scottish accent.

"We'll Just Take These Home, Run Them Over With A Fine Tooth Comb, Cross The ’T’s,’ And Dot The... Lower Case ‘J’s’ - Wayne's World 2

When applying for a permit to put on “Waynestock,” Wayne and Garth are caught off guard when they meet a “partial ocular albino” played by Kevin Pollak in one of the best SNL movies, Wayne’s World 2. After several accidental comments about the office worker’s one white eye, Wayne finally catches himself from making yet another mistake with this smooth save.

"I'm Verklempt" - Saturday Night Live

The best kind of SNL character catchphrases are short and simple, much like that of “Coffee Talk” host Linda Richman (Mike Myers). This charmingly boisterous character never failed to get the audience roaring with laughter by the way she let them know she was suddenly overcome with emotion.

"For Five Minutes, Could You Not Be Yourself? FOR FIVE MINUTES!" - Shrek 2

Even after becoming friends, Donkey (Eddie Murphy) still finds a way to get under Shrek’s skin, such as when he can’t keep his mouth shut during their trip with Fiona (Cameron Diaz) to Far Far Away. The ogre’s plea is easily one of the most quotable lines of Shrek 2 and a fun way to tell a friend to can it in real life.

"I Once Thought I Had Mono For An Entire Year. It Turned Out I Was Just Really Bored" - Wayne's World

While on a date with Wayne, Cassandra (Tia Carrere) tells him that she has been so busy with her band that she almost thought her exasperation was caused by meningitis. Wayne responds by revealing that he went through a similar situation in one of Wayne’s World’s funniest lines.

“Basically, We Have All Our Rotten Eggs In One Basket. The Objective Of Operation Kino: Blow Up The Basket" - Inglourious Basterds

A nearly unrecognizable Mike Myers steals the show in a scene from one of Quentin Tarantino’s best movies, Inglorious Basterds, as General Ed Fenech opposite Michael Fassbender’s Lt. Archie Hicox. He uses this rather cheeky metaphor to explain that most high-ranking officials of the World War II-era German government are attending a propaganda film’s premiere, giving them a perfect opportunity to strike.

"Would You Like To Touch My Monkey?" - Saturday Night Live

The most famous catchphrase uttered by Mike Myers’ recurring character, Dieter, may understandably sound like a double-entendre. However, the host of the West German talk show Sprockets is actually referring to his pet monkey, Klaus, when voicing this request to his guests.

"Believe Me, Donkey, If It Was Me, You'd Be Dead!" - Shrek

As they grow closer reaching the tower where Fiona is held, Donkey catches whiff of something that he suspects is Shrek letting it rip. The ogre informs his companion that he is smelling brimstone after assuring him that his flatulence is deadly and, as we know from subsequent moments in the franchise, not very silent either.

"Yes, And It's The Choice Of A New Generation" - Wayne's World

One of the most gut-busting moments from 1992’s Wayne World sees Wayne and Garth voicing their disapproval over product placement while, ironically, showing off various recognizable brands for the camera. One of the more clever examples occurs when Benjamin (Rob Lowe), tells them they could choose to play ball with sponsors or go back to cable access, prompting Wayne to quote Pepsi’s famous slogan at the time.

"No, I Think It's Repellent In Every Way. In fact, I Think Most Scottish Cuisine Is Based On A Dare" - So I Married An Axe Murderer

This is how Charlie responds when butcher shop employee Harriet asks if he actually likes haggis after buying some for his parents during an earlier visit. This biting So I Married an Axe Murderer joke is actually recycled from an SNL sketch starring Mike Myers and Kyle MacLachlan as the father-son owners of a Scottish delicacies shop.

"Everybody In The World Has 'Frampton Comes Alive!’ If You Lived In The Suburbs, You Were Issued It. It Came In The Mail With Samples Of Tide" - Wayne's World 2

In Wayne’s World 2, Cassandra shows Wayne a collection of records she bought at a yard sale, which includes Peter Frampton’s 1976 live album. Wayne is really not too far off from the truth when describing Frampton Comes Alive! as, essentially, a common household object considering its massive popularity at the time.

"Don't Look At My Bum" - Saturday Night Live

One of Mike Myers’ most charming recurring characters is Simon, an English child who hosts his own program from a bathtub. Sometimes, as he was reaching for another drawing to show off, he would accuse the audience of sneaking a peak at his rear end.

"No Stairway. Denied!" - Wayne's World

To those who first saw Wayne’s World on VHS or DVD, this gag seems to imply the guitar shop employee must have assumed Wayne was attempting to play to what really sounds like nothing like Led Zeppelin’s most famous hit. Per GQ, the actual first three notes of “Stairway to Heaven” could be heard in the theatrical cut, but the band and Warner Music Group “denied” the filmmakers from keeping the original audio from further home video releases.

“Well, Somebody Better Be Dying" - Shrek The Third

In Shrek the Third, this is how Shrek responds when he and Fiona are interrupted right as they are about to kiss. In the very next scene, his father-in-law, King Harold (another actor with sketch comedy experience, Monty Python’s John Cleese) announces that he is, indeed, dying.

"Well, That's The Kind Of Song Teenagers Can Crank Up The Volume In Their Car And Bang Their Heads To. 'Bohemian Rhapsody' Will Never Be That Song" - Bohemian Rhapsody

In a memorable scene from the 2018 Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, this is how fictional record executive Ray Foster voices his preference for “I’m in Love with My Car” over the operative, eponymous track. Of course, the actor who plays him, Mike Myers, did, indeed, crank up the volume and bang his head in a car to this exact song in a famous scene from Wayne’s World that reinvigorated its popularity in the early ‘90s.

"Oh, Smashing. Groovy. Yay, Capitalism!" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

After Austin Powers (Mike Myers) awakens from a 30-year cryogenic slumber in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, he is at first bewildered to see a Russian general in his presence, until Basil Exposition (Michael York) tells him the Cold War ended. The spy initially assumes this means “capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes,” until Basil explains that things worked out in the United States’ favor.

“Let Me Get This Straight: You Pay This Woman To Sit On Babies? That's Disgusting. I'd Do It For Nothing" - The Cat In The Hat

The live-action, 2003 adaptation of The Cat in the Hat is not widely regarded as one of the best Dr. Seuss movies, but it does have its moments. Case in point: this cheeky little play on words courtesy of the titular feline (played by Mike Myers) and at the expense of Conrad (Spencer Breslin) and Sally’s (Dakota Fanning) babysitter, Mrs. Kwan (Amy Hill).

"If It's A Severed Head, I'm Going To Be Very Upset" - Wayne's World

Wayne is approached by his “psycho hose beast” ex-girlfriend, Stacy (Twin Peaks cast member Lara Flynn Boyle), who is under the impression that she can wish him a happy anniversary two months after their breakup. Still, she insists Wayne open his gift, which he fears could be something very morbid, to say the least.

“Talk Amongst Yourselves. I’ll Give You A Topic: Rhode Island Is Neither A Road, Nor Is It An Island" - Saturday Night Live

Any time Linda Richman gets “verklempt” and needs to take a moment, she offers the Coffee Talk audience a topic to discuss for the time being. Not only is this one of the funniest examples of the recurring gag, but also one of the more thought-provoking.

"Who Does Number Two Work For?" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

When Dr. Evil’s assassin, Patty O’Brien (Paul Dillon), attacks Austin Powers in a casino bathroom, the spy retaliates and takes the opportunity to interrogate the “cycloptic” gambler outside called Number Two (Robert Wagner). However, the “cowboy” in the nearby stall (played by Tom Arnold) assumes Austin is referring to a different kind of “number two.”

"I Can't Believe Paramount Is Spending The Money To Fly Us To England. I Would Have Thought They Would Just Use Two Doubles" - Wayne's World 2

Both of the Wayne’s World movies handle meta humor brilliantly, such as with this gag from the 1993 sequel. Wayne’s suspicions that the studio would not actually send him and Garth to the United Kingdom are proven correct, but only the audience is aware.

"I'm Afraid You're Gonna Ki- Leave Me"  So I Married An Axe Murderer

In So I Married an Axe Murderer, Charlie (Mike Myers) breaks up with Harriet (Nancy Travis) and almost gives away that he fears she will kill him before replacing the word with “leave” as an explanation. However, it ends up sounding like he’s afraid she might “cleave,” which is exactly what he was worried about.

"No, Scott. I Have An Even better Idea. I'm Going To Place Him In An Easily Escapable Situation Involving An Overly Elaborate And Exotic Death" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

It really is amazing to think of how many James Bond villains could have succeeded if they just killed 007 on the spot instead of putting the skilled operative in unnecessary death traps. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery attacks this trope head-on when Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) reveals his plans for Powers, which his son, Scott (Seth Green), points out has flaws, to say the least.

"Yeah, And Monkeys Might Fly Out Of My Butt" - Saturday Night Live

Few characters can master sarcasm quite as charmingly as Wayne Campbell. He has demonstrated this talent in just about every edition of his recurring SNL sketch with this hilarious bit.

"You Know, I Have One Simple Request, And That Is To Have Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads!" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

Probably the one thing that made Dr. Evil relatable was his interest in this odd combination of machine and beat that, admittedly, sounds pretty cool. He would finally get his wish in 2003’s Austin Powers in Goldmember when the newly wicked Scott presents his father with the long-desired gift.

"Oh, No No No No. Dead Broad Off The Table" - Shrek

When Shrek finds a group of exiled fairytale creatures invading his swamp, he finds that the seven dwarfs have taken the initiative to put Snow White’s casket on his dining table. In their defense, the bed was taken by the Big Bad Wolf.

"Women: You Cannot Walk With Them, And Yet, You Cannot Club Them" - Saturday Night Live

In a sketch called “Lothar of the Hill People,” Mike Myers plays the titular barbarian chieftain who converses with his brethren over their experiences and philosophies. One of the funniest instances of the recurring bit is when Lothar utters this unique take on an old adage.

"No One Gets Married At Your Age Unless They're Trying To Prove Something” - 54

In 1998’s 54, Mike Myers plays Steve Rubell, the real-life co-owner of the famous, eponymous night club, Studio, who, at one point, comes on to Breckin Meyer’s character, Greg Randazzo with an indecent proposal. When Greg explains that he is, Steve insists that it can’t be genuine for a young man like him.

"Throw Me A Frickin' Bone Here!" - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

When the freshly unfrozen Dr. Evil comes to his subordinates about his evil plans, he is soon informed that none of them apply to the way things are in 1997, prompting him to ask that they give him a break and try better to bring him up to speed. This line has since become one of the first things people quote when demonstrating their own impersonation of Austin Powers’ nemesis.

These quotes are are undeniably groovy, baby.