Ab-Soul Says Failed Suicide Attempt Strengthened Relationship With God
Ab-Soul and Charlamagne Tha God recently sat down with one another to discuss the rapper’s new album, Herbert, as well as a few stories behind the personal LP. The Top Dawg Entertainment phenom, 35, shared intimate details behind his attempted suicide, which he later revealed led to a deeper awakening.
“I pretty much finished the album before I did what I did,” he explained. “How I’m choosing to take it is—and I’m not giving it credit—but it brought me down to a place where I needed to be as vulnerable as possible, and as soon as I said everything I needed to say, I jumped.”
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The “One Way St.” collaborator continued, “I took a leap of faith, if you will. And that was the only way I was going to be able to put that vape down, bro. Ain’t nobody going to rehab for a damn vape pen—sh*t expensive as hell! But that was the only way I was gonna be able to put that sh*t down, bro. I know that for a fact… I feel as though God sat my b**ch-a** down.”
He did sustain some injuries following the attempt that also nearly left him unable to work.
“I lost my teeth. This is a flipper, I ain’t even got my implants yet. My jaw’s f**ked up, I got a lot of work to do still. My foot is completely reconstructed, all the way to my pelvis. Everything but my knee. It doesn’t even make sense that my knee wasn’t affected,“ said the Los Angeles native. “If my knee would have been affected, I might not be walking. I did not get any brain damage. I jumped off a freeway overpass, man, it was about 50 feet. I think a car broke my fall. No brain damage. It’s God. That was, ‘Alright bro, now sit down and shut up. Take it all in. Relax. You blessed, man.’”
Ab-Soul recalled that he woke up on the ground, acknowledging the fact that he was still alive. “My first thought was, ‘F**king idiot.‘ I woke up on the floor, bro. Yanked me up, I passed back out and woke up in the hospital.“ Additionally, he shared that he kept this secret from several of his loved ones, but once he did explain what transpired, he felt a sense of relief.
“I had to make it clear to everybody that I wasn’t a suicidal person. I’m still not. That is not it. I felt that… relief. When I knew everybody was dealing with it in their own way […] I spent a lot of time in recovery, in solitude by myself,” explained the Grammy-nominated rapper. Ab even assured Charlamagne that those ideations won’t resurface because his faith is now rock solid.
“I can’t even kill me. I’m on God’s time, bro.” Watch the full interview above.