Brad Pitt leads an impressive cast in a goofy trip going nowhere fast in 'Bullet Train'
When Adam Sandler makes a movie like “Grown Ups,” critics — this one included — complain that he seems more interested in entertaining his pals in the cast than entertaining the audience. I don’t know if Brad Pitt is friends with the many famous people in “Bullet Train,” some of whom make uncredited cameos, but it leaves you with the same sort of feeling.
Director David Leitch’s film, based on the novel by K?tar? Isaka, is a hyper-stylized, hyper-violent action film that rarely comes up for air.
It’s also a big ol’ mess.
Although everyone involved seems to be having a good time.
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Pitt's endless philosophizing about self-improvement gets old
Pitt plays Ladybug, an unlucky assassin rethinking his life, which means listening to him spout endless bromides about self-improvement. He takes a job that sounds simple— at least by the standards of people who do this kind of thing — board a bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto, grab a briefcase and scram.
If only.
It turns out a bevy of assassins are on the train, as well as a deadly snake stolen from a zoo. Believe me, by the time it shows up slithering around so many bonkers things have happened it barely makes an impression.
The characters don’t have proper names, by the way, just code names and archetypal titles, which gives you an idea of the character development. One of the passengers is the Father (Andrew Koji) seeking revenge for his son, who was pushed off a roof. The son survives, but remains in danger.
Along the way, we’ll also meet the not-so-innocent-as-she-seems Prince (Joey King), along with the Wolf (Bad Bunny), the Hornet (Zazie Beetz) and more. Best of this lot are Lemon and Tangerine (Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson), a kind of Laurel-and-Hardy act that chops people up for an encore.
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Lemon and Tangerine have been assigned the job of delivering the briefcase, along with the Son (Logan Lerman), to the Son’s father, White Death (Michael Shannon). It’s a risky gig because White Death is the sort of crime lord who if you are five minutes late paying a debt chops off your arm — one finger for each minute, but taking all of them at once is in this world is seen as more humane.
Or something like that.
Things are not as random as they seem — and they seem exceptionally random — but linking plot points together requires quite a leap of faith and suspension of disbelief.
Brian Tyree Henry's performance is one of the film's highlights
How much you’re willing to go along with that will be in direct proportion to how much you enjoy the movie. And there are some enjoyable things here. Henry is chief among them. His Lemon is a cold-blooded killer who is also obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, which Lemon believes helps him to read people and he assigns the character traits of the trains on the show to the people he meets.
You don’t want to be Diesel.
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He and Taylor-Johnson have nice chemistry, though Taylor-Johnson seems strained at times. So does Pitt, for that matter, often, but it’s hard to tell if that’s what Leitch was going for. Whatever the case, that’s what he got.
Pitt is an exceptional actor, but he needs limits
Pitt is an exceptional actor who is, if anything, underrated. He’s good at comedy — his guest role on a Thanksgiving “Friends” episode is as funny as anything that overrated show produced. But he needs limits, like those the Coen brothers placed on him in “Burn After Reading,” in which he was delightfully dim-witted.
He’s smarter than that here, but Leitch doesn’t know when to lay off with Pitt’s goofball philosophizing. Then again, excess is what Leitch going for, and boy does he get it.
The novel is Japanese and the production has been criticized for the liberties it has taken with casting. That does make for some awkward cultural-reference moments, but the film isn’t exactly a think piece.
Instead it’s a romp, hurtling along with the speed of the train of the title, yet it still feels flat. Leitch’s best hope is that with everyone speeding by so quickly, you won’t notice the bumps.
'Bullet Train' 2 stars
Great ★★★★★ Good ★★★★
Fair ★★★ Bad ★★ Bomb ★
Director: David Leitch.
Cast: Brad Pitt, Joey King, Brian Tyree Henry.
Rating: R for strong and bloody violence, pervasive language, and brief sexuality.
Note: In theaters Aug. 5.
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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: 'Bullet Train' review: Brad Pitt boards a misguided trip to nowhere