Breaking Down Taylor Swift’s ‘Denial’ Playlist: ‘I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life’ Songs Linked to Joe Alwyn
UPDATE, 4/19/24 at 3:58 p.m. ET:
Taylor Swift surprised fans with more additions to each of her Apple Music playlists after The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology arrived on Friday, April 19. A solid number of the new tracks seem to fit the denial phase.
"imgonnagetyouback" is now the first song with “I Hate It Here” coming next. “The Bolter,” “Robin,” “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys,” “But Daddy I Love Him,” “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” and “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” have since been added. All of which are seemingly inspired by the direct aftermath of Swift’s 2023 split from Joe Alwyn after six years together.
Original story continues below:
Some Taylor Swift fans will never listen to her most romantic songs the same way again — and after this breakdown, Us will never judge the Swifties for reading into Easter eggs too much.
In preparation for the release of her 11th studio album, The Tortured Poets Department, Swift sorted songs from her catalog into playlists depicting the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — for Apple Music. Denial’s playlist is titled “I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life Songs,” and the potential meanings are endless.
"This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing the red flags, possibly resulting in moments of denial [and] delusion,” she explained of the denial tracks. “Results may vary.”
It didn’t take long for listeners to find a trend: many of Swift’s songs deemed to be about ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn were at the top of the denial list. The majority of the tracks on the list — 11 out of 18, to be exact — were penned during her lengthy relationship with Alwyn. (News of their split broke in April 2023.) The album most represented is her 10th studio album, Midnights, which was released in October 2022. The playlist kicks off with “Lavender Haze,” a song she acknowledged was about her relationship of “six years.”
“I guess theoretically, when you’re in the lavender haze, you’ll do anything to stay there and not let people bring you down off of that cloud. I think a lot of people have to deal with this now, not just ‘public figures,’ because we live in the era of social media. If the world finds out that you’re in love with somebody, they’re going to weigh in on it,” she said in a social media video deleted after their breakup was announced, adding that the pair have had to “dodge weird rumors” over the years. "This song is sort of about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff."
It’s one of two songs with direct references to marriage on the playlist, with Swift singing the lyric: “All they keep askin' me (all they keep askin' me) / Is if I'm gonna be your bride / The only kind of girl they see (only kind of girl they see) / Is a one-night or a wife.”
Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn’s Relationship Timeline: The Way They Were
The other track with association to weddings is “Lover,” which was penned about committing herself to Alwyn at the three-year mark of their romance and the fears that come along with the idea of forever. “Lover” has even been widely used as a first dance song for Swifties. (More on that here.) “False God” from the seventh studio album is also suspected to be inspired by Alwyn, with Swift making references to religion, sex and New York City. (Interesting to note “Cornelia Street” is on the bargaining playlist.)
Rounding out denial’s Lover tracks are “Cruel Summer” and “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince,” two more songs with lyrics that use the color blue — widely believed to be a link within the Alwyn-era songs.
“And it's new, the shape of your body / It's blue, the feeling I've got / And it's ooh, whoa, oh It's a cruel summer,” she sings on “Cruel Summer.” On “Miss Americana,” she notes, “We're so sad, we paint the town blue / Voted most likely to run away with you.”
Returning to Midnights, Swift has said herself that “Snow On The Beach (feat. More Lana)” is “about falling in love with someone at the same time as they’re falling in love with you.” She described it as a “cataclysmic, fated moment where you realize someone feels exactly the same way that you feel” that might leave someone asking, “'Wait, is this real? Is this a dream?' Kind of like it would be if you were to see snow falling on a beach.”
Calvin Harris and More of Taylor Swift’s Exes Who Ended Up Marrying Swifties
Speaking of dreams, “Wildest Dreams” from 2014’s 1989 is featured on the denial playlist. The song is one of many about navigating life in the public eye and Swift’s fears of never finding forever because of her high-profile status.
“He said, ‘Let's get out of this town / Drive out of the city, away from the crowds’ / I thought, ‘Heaven can't help me now’ / Nothing lasts forever / But this is gonna take me down,” she sings.
Both rumored to be about ex Harry Styles, “Wildest Dreams” has a connection to “Style” (also on the playlist), with each including nods to her red lip era and the idea that a relationship will likely end — but never be forgotten. (“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time / 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style.”)
“Snow on the Beach” and “Wildest Dreams” are among the many songs that compare a relationship to dream imagery. In Red’s “Treacherous” (2012), she sings, “This hope is treacherous / This daydream is dangerous.”
Some fans have drawn a connection between “Wildest Dreams” lyrics — “I said, ‘No one has to know what we do’ / His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room / And his voice is a familiar sound / Nothin' lasts forever / But this is gettin' good now” — to the “Treacherous” line: “And I'll do anything you say / If you say it with your hands / And I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand.”
An Unofficial Ranking of Taylor Swift’s Emotionally Devastating Track 5 Songs
Fearless’ “Untouchable” (2008) has a line with the word dream too: “In the middle of the night, when I'm in this dream / It's like a million little stars spellin' out your name / You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together / Come on, come on, little taste of Heaven.” It’s safe to say Swift now associates that idea of something being too good to be true as denial.
Circling back to Midnights, the song “Glitch” has a direct reference to Alwyn, with Swift singing about being at the six-year point – or 2,190 days — of a relationship. The analysis of the song implies that Swift was in disbelief that her relationship with Alwyn had seemingly lasted against all odds. “Bejeweled” from the 2022 album is also on the playlist, with Swift saying that the track is about finding confidence after “feeling insecure or taken for granted.” She said the song helped her get back into pop music after writing “folk songs” (for Folklore and Evermore). Could its inclusion in the denial collection mean that TTPD will send fans right back to the angsty folk era?
Back to the Alwyn of it all, there’s even two songs cowritten by the actor on the playlist: “Sweet Nothing” (Midnights) and “Betty” (Folklore). While “Betty” is about a fictional teenage love triangle (a more on the nose portrayal of denial), “Sweet Nothing” was once perceived as a love song about appreciating the little things in her relationship with Alwyn and once again ignoring the noise of the outside world.
“They said the end is coming / Everyone's up to something / I find myself running home to your sweet nothings,” the chorus reads. “Outside, they're push and shoving / You're in the kitchen humming / All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.”
Taylor Swift’s Connection to Astrology: Every Time She’s Referenced the Stars In Her Songs
Swift sparked a new theory about “Sweet Nothing” in November 2023 when she “liked” a tweet about Beatles singer Paul McCartney and his late first wife, Linda McCartney. “I would come back from a run with a poem to share and having listened Linda would say, ‘What a mind,'” the tweet read. “Though the lines may not have been supreme, she wasn’t merely being kind. She meant what she said. It’s going to make a man feel good, that kind of a thing.”
Fans were quick to connect the quote to a lyric from Sweet Nothing’s second verse: “The way home, I wrote a poem / You say, ‘What a mind’ / This happens all the time.”
Other love songs on the denial playlist include Speak Now’s “Ours” and “Superman” — both rumored to be about John Mayer. It is less of a surprise that Swift looks back on her relationship with the musician, who is 12 years older than her, as a time she was lying to herself about love.
The lone track from Evermore (2020) on the denial list is “Willow,” a song Swift once described as being about “intrigue, desire and the complexity that goes into wanting someone.” She compared the song to “casting a spell to make somebody fall in love with you,” and while there’s been sorcery allegations against Swift over the years (if you know you know), being in a sense of denial gives attempts to cast a spell.
Rounding out the playlist, “That's When” is a vault track from Fearless and details what happens to someone when their significant other hits pause on a romance. “We ended up ultimately writing a song about someone who is in love, in a relationship, but just all of a sudden is like, ‘Wait, I just need some space, I need to think about this,’ and kind of leaves,” Swift explained to Apple Music about the song when the rerelease of Fearless came out in 2021. “And what does the other person do?”
The Tortured Poets Department finally arrives Friday, April 19.
