Bridgerton, series 3, review: Netflix’s Regency romp has gone stale – even the sex scenes are dull
To tie in with the new season of Bridgerton (Netflix), the Lanesborough hotel has devised a themed afternoon tea. There are delicate pastries named after the show’s characters, and freshly-made scones. Which sounds delightful, but not very apt, because this series is a stale bun.
Is Bridgerton past its sell-by-date? Superfans would say most certainly not – for these are the fans who have so looked forward to this instalment, which sees Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton finally unite, that they have invented a portmanteau name for the couple: Polin.
But aside from that romantic arc, the show feels tediously familiar. “As the season begins, the question on everyone’s mind is, of course, which newly-minted debutante will shine the brightest,” explains Julie Andrews in voiceover as the society gossip Lady Whistledown. Really, this again? Even the Queen (Golda Rosheuvel) is fed up, eye-rolling and yawning her way through the young ladies’ presentation at court.
The dialogue, the gossip, the ballroom dances to Billie Eilish songs: it’s all there, just the same as it ever was. The writers seem to have given up. Three of the first four episodes feature an almost identical scene of Penelope (Nicola Coughlan) fleeing a ball in tears. The Lady Whistledown commentary now feels tired and unnecessary. Even the sex scenes are perfunctory, thrown in once an episode as if meeting a quota.
It is lovely that Penelope gets her man, giving hope to wallflowers everywhere. Coughlan makes her such a sympathetic character. For two series she has had an unrequited passion for Colin (Luke Newton), the least dashing of the Bridgerton brothers.
For series three, Colin has had a glow-up, returning from a Grand Tour with a new sense of confidence and a Love Island tan. Taking inspiration from Colin Firth and Aidan Turner, he wastes no time in stripping off his white shirt. Women now fall at his feet, as he regales them with stories of his adventures in the Mediterranean. “Who are you and what have you done with our brother?” asks a bemused Anthony (Jonathan Bailey). But the idea of a rakish Colin simply doesn’t work, and the scenes of him in threesomes with topless prostitutes feel wildly wrong.
Fans of #Polin will be beside themselves when the pair finally get steam. Curiously, though, they have almost zero chemistry – curious because Coughlan and Newton have bags of it in real life, as seen in their promotional interviews for the show.
Theirs is the main storyline, and the others are deathly. The debutante of this season is yet another Bridgerton, Francesca (Hannah Dodd, replacing Ruby Stokes), about whom there is nothing of interest to say. Thank heavens for Lady Featherington (Polly Walker) and her two dreadful daughters, Prudence and Philippa (Bessie Carter and Harriet Cains). The daughters provide comic relief in their efforts to get pregnant with a male heir, thus securing their home. Walker adds some much-needed bite.
The remaining four episodes arrive next month, and perhaps it will pick up. Otherwise, the writers need to take a break – perhaps an extended tour of the Med? – and come back next season with some new ideas.
The first four episodes of Bridgerton season three are on Netflix now; the remaining four episodes premiere on June 13
