Charity Lawson Says She Went Through 'Hell and Back' with Her Mental Health During “Dancing with the Stars”
Lawson claimed she was subjected to "death threats" and online bullying, which she believes was a result of racism, while competing on season 32 of 'Dancing with the Stars'
Charity Lawson is opening up about the mental toll of competing on Dancing with the Stars.
On the latest episode of the Sex, Lies and Spray Tans podcast, the former Bachelorette, 28, said she called for an on-set therapist on the ABC dance show after experiencing mental health struggles while competing on season 32 last fall.
“I'm surprised you guys don't,” she told host and DWTS alum Cheryl Burke about the need for a therapist. “Honestly, I'm very surprised because quite literally, while Dancing with the Stars was great, I literally went through hell and back with my mental health on that show.”
Related: Cheryl Burke Shares Her Advice for Celebrities Considering Dancing with the Stars: 'Be Single'
Burke noted that she has previously pitched the idea of “a dance doctor” to make it “television-friendly” but it never came to fruition on the show.
Despite asking fellow Bachelorette and DWTS winner Kaitlyn Bristowe for advice, the experience still hit Lawson like “a ton of bricks.”
The reality star — who was partnered with Artem Chigvintsev on the show and came in fourth — said that she experienced online bullying throughout the competition, which Burke called “shocking.”
“Is it shocking? I don’t know if it’s shocking. I think to a certain degree it was expected,” she countered.
Lawson explained that she felt could handle the experience after facing criticism as the lead of The Bachelorette.
“I came into the Dancing With the Stars fanbase like, ‘This is going to be a piece of cake,’ only to be… almost to the point where it was so much worse than Bachelor and Bachelorette,” she explained. “I was getting death threats for existing.”
When asked why she was receiving death threats, Lawson responded, “For not performing enough, for being conceited, for being entitled, for being the biggest b--- on the cast. It’s crazy.”
Lawson noted that this was first time publicly speaking out about the bullying because she chose “to protect my peace” during the competition. However, she shared that she told Chigvintsev about the comments on Dancing with the Stars and her own social media accounts.
“It was so damaging, night in, night out,” she recalled. “I had to tell Artem, ‘This is unfortunately what we’re dealing with and what we’re up against.’ If you look in comparison to every other contestant on this season, they don’t have this underneath their comments… I’m just literally existing and being called a b----.”
She noted that she “blocked and filtered” comments on her account, but they were not filtered on the show’s page.
ABC did not immediately return PEOPLE’s request for comment.
Later, Lawson broke down in tears about the comments she received and noted that she decided to speak out because “I have to go through this life as a Black woman and being on a reality TV show. It’s like the same things are just not protected.”
Noting that she tried to have the “best attitude” she could given the circumstances, she still struggled to stay in the competition.
“I just had to suppress it and it got to the point where I was like, I’m just trying to survive,” she explained. “I’m just trying to make it out of the season… There were weeks where I’d come home from rehearsal where I’m like, I literally hope I forget my steps and get voted off… It’s a really dark place.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer??, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
She added that the video packages on the show did not help endear viewers.
“It’s shaped this way that I was boasting and bragging about my scores but I’m only talking about them because you guys asked me,” she explained. “That was really frustrating when I started to see my packages painted in this way; it’s almost skewing the viewers in this way of, ‘All she cares about are scores’ [and] ‘She thinks she’s better than everyone.'”
When asked if she felt her race ultimately affected the results of Dancing of the Stars, she responded, “Yeah.”
Dancing with the Stars can be streamed on Disney+.
For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!
Read the original article on People.