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The Hollywood Reporter

Dave Bautista Roasts Donald Trump With Some Rather Brutal Descriptions

James Hibberd
2 min read
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What can anybody say about Donald Trump that hasn’t already been said? What possible criticism can one make that might cut through the noise nearly a decade after Trump launched his first presidential campaign? Well, Dave Bautista (via Jimmy Kimmel Live!) might have figured it out, with his brutal roast of the former president going viral.

Kimmel’s team and Bautista made a video (below) for Wednesday night’s episode of the ABC late night show where the Guardians of the Galaxy actor had some choice words about the perception that Trump is a masculine figure. Sure, the video is a transparent attempt to help Trump’s election rival Kamala Harris court male voters — a demographic she’s struggling to attract. Yet the result is rather entertaining nonetheless.

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“A lot of men seem to think that Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy,” says Bautista while training in a gym. “He’s not. Look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. He whines like a baby. The guy’s afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his feet hurt so he could dodge the [Vietnam War] draft. Look at that gut — like a garbage bag full of buttermilk. He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy-fireman. He’s barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. Look how he drinks water — like a little pink chickadee. He’s got jugs, big ones — like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf, and creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does? He looks like he’s jacking off a pair of giraffes.”

Continues Bautista: “He’s moody, he pouts, he throws tantrums. He acts like a 5-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for [Russian President Vladimir] Putin. He’s cattier on social media than a mean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. This November, let’s stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid of rain, of dogs, of windmills, Meryl-fucking-Streep and being laughed at. Mostly, he’s terrified that real, red-blooded American men will find out that he’s a weak tubby toddler. What’s wrong, tough guy? Did someone grab you by the pussy? Little bitch.”

Check out the video below.

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