English Teacher Finale Hits Us With a Pair of Romantic Twists — Grade It!
FX’s freshman comedy English Teacher wrapped up the school year on Monday with a finale that rocked our world with a romantic twist… not once, but twice.
It’s Evan’s birthday, and he doesn’t really want to celebrate turning 35, but Malcolm talks him into going to a leather daddy bar — and dressing in a latex T-shirt and short shorts. (“I haven’t dressed like this since I was 24,” Evan whines.) And surprise! Evan’s school friends are waiting there to party with him. Evan is worried they’ll be freaked out — especially Principal Moretti — but they all assure him they’re fine… even as Moretti points out all the, um, graphic pornography on the TVs. “He’s going to get roofied, because of you,” Evan warns Malcolm.
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Markie runs into an old high school football teammate, and it takes a while for it to dawn on him that the guy is gay. (“So we beat Westlake with a gay quarterback?”) Plus, Gwen has news: She broke up with her boyfriend Nick after realizing he was spending all his time digging up their backyard for a pool instead of looking for a job. Now she’s determined to find a new man tonight — and what a great place to look! Meanwhile, guidance counselor Rick is intrigued to learn about poppers… and Harry shows up, too. He and Evan say an awkward hello, and Harry says he wanted to show up to support him on his birthday. Malcolm swoops in, though, to pitch his new startup providing tents to unhoused people through an app: “They’re not called cell-less! They’re called homeless!”
Gwen is getting drunker and more desperate, pestering the DJ to let her do karaoke. She also gushes to Markie about how great he is — which he thinks could be a green light to finally share his feelings for her. In the bathroom, Malcolm takes credit for inviting Harry and tells Evan, “If you don’t f–k him, I do have to.” Evan is still wary of hooking up with a co-worker, but he and Harry start to have a romantic moment… just as Moretti walks in to interrupt. Everyone else is having a great time, though: Markie appreciates all the attention he’s getting from gay guys (“Does everybody here want to f–k me?”), and Rick is high on poppers and plotting to get rich by selling them to the straight community.
Gwen gets her hands on a microphone and stars singing a cappella about “Gay Town City” (her own composition, we’re guessing) before getting yanked off stage. Malcolm then takes the mike to pay tribute to Evan, singing Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” and taking off his trenchcoat to reveal a whipped cream bikini… that’s been smashed by the coat. He brings Harry up to sing with him, and Markie notices Evan is looking at them longingly, encouraging him to go up there and “plant his flag.” So Evan does: He marches up to them and kisses… Malcolm! “So you’re like in love with me now?” Malcolm says in surprise. “That’s a possibility,” Evan replies.
Evan later explains to a confused Markie that Malcolm has a “special place in my heart” — even though Malcolm left the party to go to an orgy. Markie declares that “you’ve got to let people be who they are,” and that’s enough to inspire Gwen to get back together with her boyfriend Nick, giving Markie all the credit for reuniting them. Poor Markie! Nick tries to show off the progress he’s made on the pool by turning on the jets with an app, but it just sprays water into the air… and Evan and Malcolm share a blissful kiss as the water falls all around them.
Alright, class, grab your pencils: Give the English Teacher finale — and the season as a whole — a grade in our poll, and hit the comments to share your post-finale thoughts.
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