FKA twigs on moving forward following Shia LaBeouf abuse lawsuit: 'I have my life back'

Months after coming forward with abuse allegations against ex-boyfriend Shia LaBeouf, FKA twigs wants people to know "it's a miracle I came out alive."

In Elle magazine's March 2021 cover issue, published online Wednesday, the singer, 33, said she thinks "luck" is what got her to where she is now.

“I honestly wish I could say that I found some strength and I saw this light," she said. "I wish I could say, ‘(It is) a testament to my strong character,’ or ‘It’s the way my mother raised me.’ It’s none of that. It’s pure luck that I’m not in that situation anymore.”

"That situation" the singer referred to is the alleged physical, emotional and mental abuse she said she suffered at the hands of LaBeouf during their nearly year-long relationship. She filed a lawsuit against the actor in December, explaining on social media at the time that she chose to share her experience in hopes it may help others who are in domestic violence situations.

"My second worst nightmare is being forced to share with the world that i am a survivor of domestic violence," twigs wrote on Instagram. "My first worst nightmare is not telling anyone and knowing that i could have helped even just one person by sharing my story."

In the interview, twigs said she is aware that "people wouldn’t think that it would happen to a woman like me."

"The biggest misconception is, ‘Well, you’re smart. If it was that bad, why didn’t you leave?’ " she told Elle. “It can happen to anyone... It made me realize I need to come forward and talk about my experience. What I went through with my abuser is, hands down, the worst thing (I’ve experienced) in the whole of my life."

And while she admitted that "recovering has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do," she's also finding ways to feel empowered.

“I have my life back. I can work as late as I want. I can see my friends," she said. "To be able to hit up Dua Lipa on Instagram, make a song with her, perform on her livestream, and have a new friend… and there’s no anxiety behind it. No fear of, like, ‘What is this going to cause for me? What trouble am I going to be in?’ ”

LaBeouf, 34, responded to twigs' December allegations in an email to The New York Times, saying he was "not in any position to tell anyone how my behavior made them feel."

"I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations," the statement continued. "I have been abusive to myself and everyone around me for years. I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I’m ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say.”

Earlier this month, LaBeouf’s legal team submitted a response to twigs’ lawsuit denying the assault allegations.

In a statement to USA TODAY at the time, LaBeouf's lawyer Shawn Holley, wrote, “A lawyer issuing general denials to all the allegations in a lawsuit is standard procedure in civil practice and signals nothing about Shia’s past statements or his acceptance of responsibility for things he has done wrong. Nothing has changed.”

"CBS This Morning" also aired an interview with twigs on Wednesday, the singer's first television interview since filing the lawsuit. Speaking to Gayle King, twigs recounted some of the things she says she endured at the hands of LaBeouf and said she "wanted to come out and talk about this" because the signs of an abuser "really are there from the beginning."

Twigs added in the Elle interview that she knows this journey is "not going to be perfect" but hopes "if I can make little steps, and people can see me taking my life back, it will inspire them."

She continued, "I’ve given (LaBeouf) back his dysfunction now. I went on my whole Magdalene tour holding that dysfunction – it was with me onstage, every time I did an interview, on every red carpet. I was not enjoying any of it. Because I was still holding it. But now I’ve given it back. Now he gets to hold it. And everyone knows what he’s done.”

'I felt so controlled': FKA twigs details physical, emotional abuse allegations against Shia LaBeouf

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: FKA twigs on Shia LaBeouf abuse lawsuit, feeling empowered