“The Golden Bachelorette'”s Gary Opens Up About the Show's 'Brotherhood' and His 'Rusty' Return to Dating (Exclusive)

"The experience is one that I wouldn't trade in for the world," Gary Levingston tells PEOPLE of his time on 'The Golden Bachelorette' vying for Joan Vassos' heart

Warning: this story contains spoilers from episode 4 of The Golden Bachelorette.

The Golden Bachelorette’s Gary Levingston left the show with a whole lot more than he went in with.

Talking with PEOPLE about his episode 4 departure from Joan Vassos’ inaugural season of The Golden Bachelorette, Gary opens up about how it felt not to get a rose. He says that while he was sad to have to go, he grew to love both Joan and the other men, and hoped only for the best for all of them.

“I was very, very disappointed,” he admits. “It was like, I'm a warrior and so I fight to win, and I will go to whatever degree to win, and I didn't win. But the face that I had to keep for Joan was showing her how much I appreciated our time, and I didn't want her to see the disappointment on my face so I was smiling, obviously, and kissed her goodbye.”

He adds: “I hope we can continue to be amazing friends because that's what it ended up being, a great friendship.”

Related: The Golden Bachelorette Eliminations: Who's Still Vying for Joan Vassos' Heart and Who Didn't Get a Rose?

Gary recalls his first night at the Malibu mansion, where he and four other guys pulled up in a limo to meet Joan for the first time. Explaining that when he was first cast on the show he felt “instant anxiety,” finally arriving that night eased his nerves.

“I think what helped my jitters when I got out of the limo is I danced my way up to her, so that was kind of cool,” he says. “Then seeing the other guys arrive and then ultimately the journey led to then connecting with all the men, which was some pretty powerful moments in and of itself.”

One of the biggest takeaways from his time on the competition dating show was the relationships he built with his castmates, Gary says. He remembers the kickball game in episode 3, where he and the men “all thought we were back in our twenties,” and episode 4 being trained by original Chippendales.

“I got to tell you, as soon as the [dancer] came out, I'm like, ‘I can't do this, I've never done this,’ but then finding out that it was for a good cause for cancer, I was all in along with my other guys,” he explains. “The brotherhood was established in that way.”

Related: Joan Vassos 'Felt Like' She 'Was Cheating on' Late Husband by Falling for a Golden Bachelorette Suitor (Exclusive)

Gary says the memory he will never forget was when Chock found out his mother died during filming, and how the men gathered to support him.

“I think for me, probably my most memorable was the connection I made one-on-one with Chock when his mom passed, and it was very emotional,” Gary shares. “Him and I grew even closer because we were roommates — he, Guy and Charles also were [my] roommates — and I got a chance to really get to know him as a person and he getting to know me as well.”

“Those special intimate moments talking with him, finding out what it was that he enjoyed doing and his role as a dad, that was probably one of my special moments,” he adds.

Related: Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos Declares She 'Can't Keep Going on Like This' — and Receives a Visit from an Ex

Reflecting on the time he spent on the show, Gary says he loved each rose ceremony for it being “special in its own way” and each person he met.

“The experience is one that I wouldn't trade in for the world,” he gushes. “It was really amazing connecting with all the guys.”

Going forward, he says his time with Joan was “absolutely sensational,” and getting to date her helped give him the courage to re-enter the dating pool.

“It's been so many years and you get rusty,” he says. “It's like, ‘What do I say? How do I…?’ Well, just be you. And that's how I got better at building my own internal confidence.”

“Now it is really about what it is that I want,” he continues. “And it's closer than I think. I just have to continue to wait and stay in prayer that she's going to be everything that I could have ever imagined.”

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The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

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