“Golden Bachelorette”'s Joan reveals the boob-related blooper we didn't see
Joan Vassos also shares her thoughts on what went wrong with Pascal, and why she was so happy to see all her exes at the "Men Tell All" reunion.
If you look up the term "friendly exes" in the dictionary, you might very well see a picture from last night's The Golden Bachelorette reunion, The Men Tell All.
Not only were the 15 men on stage thrilled to reunite with Joan Vassos, the woman who rejected them during her Bachelorette "journey," she was overjoyed to talk to them again, too. "I really liked seeing them last night so I could say, 'I want you to be my friends forever,'" she tells Entertainment Weekly. "Those bonds are really big and deep. I'm 61 years old. I have a lot of great friends. I'm not out there looking for new friends — but there's no way I couldn't have these people in my life now."
The day after filming the MTA, Joan joined EW via Zoom to talk about the reunion lovefest, the unexpected breakup with Pascal during Fantasy Suites week, and the boob-related blooper Bachelor Nation didn't get to see.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Now that you've watched the season back, what are some of the things that surprised you?
JOAN VASSOS: Completely, without a doubt, the guys' interactions with each other. I had this idea that they were not going to really be open — that they were going to talk about sports and maybe about where they live and how their golf game is or what they do in their free time. [I] never in a million years thought from night one they would bond in such a way. That was a whole different interaction that I've never seen with men. And I am so excited that this got revealed on this show, because I don't think it's an interaction anybody's ever seen, to be honest.
Was there one conversation that really moved you?
Yeah, there was a conversation between Mark and Pascal, with Mark talking about the hummingbird, and how he felt like his late wife was giving him permission [to move on]. I loved that conversation — they were both crying. And then when Mark left and Pascal was like, "I lost my best friend." It shows you how [deep the connections] form in such a quick time.
Now that you've been through this experience, what's something you wish people had told you about being the Golden Bachelorette before you started shooting?
I've watched the show for lots of years, and I've watched the younger people do it, and it was a completely different experience for me. I thought, "Oh, I know what's going on. I know how to do this." The emotions that I felt were way different than what I thought they would be. I didn't think it was going to be this emotional. I felt like I was super ready and this was just going to be learning about the guys and dating them. I didn't realize at all these emotions inside of me were going to bubble up.
I think it was because I really came in thinking, "I'm really ready to do this." Then when I started having feelings for some of the men, I all of a sudden had this feeling, "I can't do this. I still love John. How am I supposed to have feelings for other people? I can't love two people." It took me a while to get through that. I don't think anybody could have ever prepared me for that. But I think now that I know that, I need to prepare the next person.
On the Men Tell All reunion, you got to see Pascal again after he left during Fantasy Suites week. You mentioned that you realized toward the end of your relationship that things were starting to fall apart — looking back, when did you first start having doubts that the relationship would work out?
He mentioned at his hometown that he had had some heartbreak in some of his relationships, and that he needed to move slowly. I felt like that was a little bit of a warning, that was telling me something there. So, that was kind of in the front of my mind when I was trying to figure out between Jordan and Pascal, which one I was going to invite to the exotic [dates]. Then at the rose ceremony, after I gave him a rose, he whispered to me, "My walls are coming down." And I was like, okay, we're making some progress. I was a little more hopeful.
Then on that date [in Tahiti], it just felt off. It didn't feel off right in the beginning, but then the Tahitian bonding ceremony was kind of uncomfortable. We continued to be uncomfortable through the whole thing. I was trying to make it feel more comfortable, but it was a very intimate and deep [ceremony], and it required us to do a lot of talking about feelings.
It was long and it was hot, and I felt by the end of that date, things were off. He couldn't get out of there fast enough. I felt the same way, honestly. It felt very wedding-y, and that was uncomfortable. Going into that evening date, I pictured the way it was going to actually go down. I was thinking this could be the end of us, that we would end up in Fantasy Suites and we would talk about, "Are we good? What is holding us back and are we going to get past it?" And that one of us was going to make a decision that night that this wasn't going to work. He came with his mind already made up.
And I appreciate it. I know how hard that is. I had to do a rose ceremony every week, and it's hard saying goodbye to people. It makes me feel really bad. I know he felt really bad and I didn't want him to. I also hadn't fallen in love with him. I hadn't gotten there yet. I knew that I needed to be careful with my heart with him. It hurt my feelings a little bit. Rejection isn't fun, obviously, but I knew what I was signing up for, and I didn't want him to go away feeling so bad. So last night, it was really important that I got to say that to him.
Bachelor Nation loves a blooper. Was there a moment that you were sure was going to make the bloopers but didn't?
To be honest, I try to push the embarrassing moments out of my mind. Okay, there is one really embarrassing one.
Tell me!
Oh my God, I was at the hometowns with Chock, in Kansas, and it was really hot. It was honestly like 105 degrees. There was a little bit of a breeze, but it was hot and humid. I had a sundress on, and I had those chicken cutlet things [in my dress], like they're boob pads. I had those on because I have the sundress on, and you can't have bra straps showing.
It's probably three hours into the date, and I've just sweated for hours and hours. Finally, it's getting towards the end of the date, and Chock is standing in front of the 30 people. We had done that ceremony to honor his mother, so he had lots of family and friends there. We're standing in front of everybody, and he is talking about me, about "how much I adore this woman and this journey that we've had."
As he's talking, I can feel the boob pad coming unstuck. I feel it starting to slip and I'm trying to stop it with my arm, and I can't do it. It makes it down to my stomach, and then it comes right off the bottom of the dress, and there it is by my foot! [Laughs] We're standing in front of everybody. There's no chance nobody saw it. But the cameras, I don't think caught it, because they definitely would've shown it. So that was the one that I got away with. [Laughs]
Finally, who's your top pick for Golden Bachelor?
That's so hard. Gosh. There were kind of standouts in my mind in the beginning, and then after Tell All last night, I'm like, "You have 14 right there." They all learned so much and are really prepared now to be the Golden Bachelor. I mean, there's probably seven standouts, but I feel like I can't say anybody, because I'd hate for someone to get picked just because I said it.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
The Golden Bachelorette finale airs Nov. 13 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.