The Golden Bachelorette Premiere Recap: Who’s the Early Favorite to Give Joan a Second Chance at Love?
Alright, Bachelor Nation, just two weeks after that disaster of a Bachelorette finale, we’re back at the mansion again for the inaugural season of The Golden Bachelorette. And dammit, the producers are grabbing hold of our heartstrings right away.
61-year-old Joan Vassos, who competed for Gerry’s heart on The Golden Bachelor, is our first Golden Bachelorette, and Wednesday’s premiere begins by telling us her story. (A poignant Kacey Musgraves tune does a great job of getting the waterworks started, too.) Joan was married to her husband John for 33 years (“He just made life fun,” she remembers) before he died of pancreatic cancer in 2021. Joan was devastated, and “I honestly felt invisible” after his death, she confesses. Her kids and grandkids are still her priority, and she knows she’ll never replace John, but she insists “there is room for somebody else” in her heart. And when the Phil Collins classic “Take Me Home” kicks in, it does get a little misty around the eye area, I must admit.
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Joan arrives at the mansion in a shiny gold dress and tells Jesse, “I feel like Cinderella right now.” But which one of the 24 senior men she’s meeting will be her Prince Charming, hmmm? The limos arrive, and the first guy out is Pascal, a charming Frenchman from Chicago. (She swoons at his accent.) Kim is a retired Navy captain wearing his dress whites, and a guy named Chock (?) brings her a jar of his famous “Chock-en noodle soup.” She tastes it — and she likes it! Some of the guys are so nervous, they stumble over their words, and some show their age, too, with Bob toting an old-school VHS camcorder. Jack impresses her right away, though, by wearing a distinctive pink blazer and crooning Sinatra’s “My Way” for her. He likes what he sees, too: “That dress she’s got on? Freakin’ hot!”
The guys bond with each other right away, with one quipping: “There’s a lot of testosterone in this room… but not as much as there would’ve been 40 years ago.” (Ha!) Joan meets Charles L., a sweetheart who was married for 36 years before his wife passed away: “My daughters, they want to see a happy dad.” She tells an ER doctor named Guy that he’s “very handsome,” so he’s one to watch. Charles K. comes out hobbling with a cane… and then drops to the ground to do one-armed pushups. Psych! (Now that’s a cultural reference this demographic can appreciate.) Christopher brings her shots of prune juice — this is a very different Bachelorette, isn’t it? — and rancher David rides up on a horse, but once he dismounts, the horse goes running off. Does anyone have a lasso handy?
Self-described “girl dad” Keith drives up in an old-school station wagon with luggage strapped to the roof, and he and Joan seem to hit it off right away. But there’s one last man to arrive: Mark, the father of recent Bachelor winner Kelsey. He’s accompanied by Kelsey, who talks him up to Joan, but once Joan sees Mark, she needs no convincing. (“He’s cute!” she tells Kelsey.) Mark explains that his wife died in 2018, and it’s tough to move on because “I know what perfect is… She filled my heart completely.” Awww… can I just say that so far, this season is giving me all the warm, fuzzy feels that The Golden Bachelor did, and it’s such a refreshing change of pace from all that Bachelorette drama? Well, I just did.
Joan heads inside the mansion and tells the guys how being on Gerry’s season encouraged her to go out and find love, and Pascal is the first to whisk her away for some alone time. He owns a hair salon, he explains: “I feel very comfortable with woman.” Ooh la la! It works on her, too: “I’ve been wooed tonight by a Frenchman!” Dan gets choked up as he tells Joan about being a single dad to his daughters, and she and Gary chat on rotary phones, in another nod to their advanced ages. Jordan invites her out for a game of pickleball — the latest craze among seniors — and soon, all the guys are out there swinging paddles, with balls whizzing everywhere. Meanwhile, Jack takes a walking tour of the mansion (he can’t wait to dive into that pool), and Charles L. admires the kitchen and its big fridge: “Ooh, lots of meat!”
Joan spends more time with Kim and with Bob — who was struck by lightning while surfing and had to be brought back to life! Mark says talking with Joan is “like putting on a fresh, warm pair of sweats, right out of the dryer.” (That’s a compliment, I think?) Jonathan recites a poem for her, and she loves it… and his cute dimple. Jack heads to the kitchen to cook up a tenderloin with bordelaise sauce, and he serves it to an impressed Joan. Plus, she and Keith have fun playing cornhole, and they already have an easy rapport. Chock worries that he hasn’t had any alone time with her — you don’t count the soup? — but he and Joan have a nice chat about their families and their bucket lists. (She wants to go on a safari, and he has one scheduled for next year.) But when it’s time to hand out the first impression rose, she gives it to Keith, commending him for making her feel safe right away. Oh, and Jesse wheels in a TV so they can all watch video messages from their families, so now the tears are really flowing.
It’s rose ceremony time, and the guys are tense — and grumpy, because they’ve been up all night. Joan hands roses out to Dan, Jonathan, Mark, Guy, Charles K., Gil, Gary, Pascal, Chock, Kim, Christopher and Gregg. But then she starts to feel guilty about sending guys home. (“I feel really crappy about it. There just aren’t enough roses.”) She steps away to collect herself, but she returns to hand roses to Charles L., Jordan, Bob and Michael, saving the last one for Jack the chef. That means she’s sending home… well, a few nice old guys whose names I can’t remember.
The trailer for the rest of the season promises lots of twists, with Joan telling Mark “I love you” at one point (!). But she also worries that she’s not ready to move on from John. Gerry comes back and asks her point-blank, “Have you considered the possibility that your guy is not here?” (Dammit, Gerry! Worry about your own relationships!) Joan decides she deserves a second chance at love — and at the final rose ceremony, she admits she’s fallen in love again. But with whom?
So who do you think captures Joan’s heart? Vote in our poll, Bachelor Nation, and drop your post-premiere thoughts in a comment below.
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