“The Golden Bachelorette” recap: No time to spare

This week, Joan chooses her final four — and sends one favorite home early.

It’s the week before hometown dates on The Golden Bachelorette, and Joan is ready to make some hard choices. The men are shocked when one guy gets sent home early, and Chock starts to get on everyone’s nerves.

Let’s recap!

It’s quiet in the mansion, perhaps because Charles — and the palpable joy of his spirit — are no longer there. But hey, at least producers got a shot of Pascal in his tightie-whities!

With only seven men left, the “journey” is starting to get real for the men. “We’re just all falling for [Joan],” says Chock. “I wish these other six guys would go, ‘Hey, I’m going home!’”

Funny you should say that, sir. Hometown dates are around the proverbial corner — next episode, if you can believe it! — so Joan has a big week ahead. You know what that means, rose lovers: It’s time for some filler/ wisdom from a Bachelor Nation guest star.

Welcome, Queen Trista! What advice do you have for our first-ever Golden Bachelorette? “My biggest regret is that I didn’t share more,” reveals Mrs. Sutter. “That I wasn’t as vulnerable with Ryan and didn’t share that I was falling in love with him.” You heard her, Joan! I hope you have the code for your emotional keypad, because it is time to Open Up?.

To be fair, though, when Trista was going through her “journey,” she was looking for the first love of her life. Joan — well, she’s already had hers, and she still feels a little bit of guilt about dating again. “I’ve always said that I don’t want John’s memory to fade away,” she says. “It, like, weighs heavy on my heart.” Still, Joan knows she owes it to herself to move forward.

Keith gets the first one-on-one date. Will he recover from his awkward chat with her last week? Let’s follow him to a random strip of asphalt in the middle of nowhere and find out.

Related: Golden Bachelorette's Charles L. says he'd 'consider' being Golden Bachelor

Hell yeah, it’s helicopter o’clock, folks. Naturally, the pilot flies Keith and Joan over the mansion to make the guys — who are all hanging out in the pool — annoyed and jealous.

The whirlybird drops Keith and Joan off at Babcock Winery, where they enjoy a sampling of whites and rosés. As part of their “promotional consideration provided by” deal, Babcock Winery owners Bryan and Lisa get some on-camera time as well, which they use to ask Keith and Joan questions about their relationship. “He got my first impression rose,” Joan explains. “This is a special day for us, because we finally get some quality time together.”

When Joan learns that Bryan and Lisa have been married for 32 years, it reminds her — as so many things do — of her husband, John. “It just hit me,” she admits.

Back at the mansion, Mark is also thinking about his late spouse.

Through tears, Mark admits to Pascal and Jordan that he was just not sure if he’s “doing the right thing” by being on the show. He recalls how his late wife, Denise, used to sit by their hummingbird feeder with her hand out — and the tiny little birds would land on her open palm. “Denise, before she passed, she always said, ‘You need to go find someone,’” he explains. “I believe that there are signs in the universe… Now, when I’m out here walking, I stopped in my tracks — this hummingbird comes up, and I was like…” He pauses, overcome. “I was trying to catch my breath. It’s like she’s there, and she’s saying this is right.”

Oh, come ON, producers. We are barely 20 minutes into this episode and I’m already sobbing? I’m so happy that Mark feels a weight off his shoulders after seeing the hummingbird, but could you PLEASE let us go one week without reducing us to a quivering puddle of mush? Ugh.

All right, let’s check in on Keith and Joan at the winery. He’s telling her about his ex-wife’s addiction, which led to the end of their marriage. “I just had to separate my daughters from that,” says Keith. “We haven’t talked to her in 10, 12 years. Maybe I still use some of that humor or whatever to hide that, so I don’t have to talk about it.”

Joan appreciates Keith’s vulnerability, and she thanks him for showing his softer side. They discuss what a possible hometown date might be like, and then share a short smooch. But Joan is not handing out date roses this week — she wants to spend time with everyone before making her hometown decisions — so he’ll have to wait until the end of the week to find out his fate.

This week’s group date goes to Guy, Jordan, Jonathan, Pascal, and Chock — and I’m certain they chose the activity simply for the pleasure of making Pascal wear rented shoes.

“This is not a game we play in Europe,” he sniffs. “But I go with the flow.” Indeed, all the guys embrace the activity with gusto — hoping to impress Joan with their easygoing nature and athletic prowess. But Jonathan notices a “competitive” vibe in the air, and when Chock pulls Joan aside — “Can I just take you home?”  he whispers in her ear — the men are more than a little annoyed. “He’s going full-court press,” says Guy. Jordan wishes he would “hit the brakes,” and Jonathan says Chock’s behavior was “in your face.”

Fed up, Guy whisper-yells at Chock to stop monopolizing Joan’s time, but the demand falls on deaf ears. Eventually, though, everyone gets some time with the Golden Bachelorette. Jonathan shows her some family photos, including one of him as a young man with an awesome Afro. Jordan tells Joan more about his daughters, and Guy — whose contentious divorce made headlines last week — gets emotional when he tries to explain how happy this “journey” has made him.

After a rousing game of skee-ball (damn, I love that game), Chock and Joan commiserate over how hard it is to come home to an empty house. Joan admits that she used to feel like it was “selfish” to hope for a second great love, but now she realizes that her family wants more for her than just living the rest of her days as mom and grandma. “I see a beautiful future for us,” says Chock. “I just see us together.” Clearly, bro.

Once again, the date ends with no rose — which feels a little awkward, but I respect Joan’s insistence on doing things her own way. You do you, ma’am!

Related: Golden Bachelorette host Jesse Palmer on Charles' heartbreaking goodbye

Hey, guess what? Five weeks in, and Mark has FINALLY earned a one-on-one date. Somewhere, the producers are all, “See? We don’t play favorites!” Before Joan arrives at the mansion, Mark gives his fellow Golden bachelors props. “You guys have enhanced me,” he assures them. “I have not felt this good for the last six-and-a-half years.” Awwww, am I going to cry again? Dang it.

Joan arrives, and she looks fabulous.

“Today is the last date before hometowns,” she announces. “This journey seems like it’s incredibly fast.” It is, ma’am! (Unless you’re recapping it. Then it feels a little longer.)

Anyhoo, Joan and Mark zoom off in a red Porsche convertible. On the way there, she tells us via voiceover that she and Mark have an almost “formal” relationship, because he’s so quiet and reserved. “Today, I need to see Mark open up,” she says. “I can’t waste a hometown on somebody that I don’t see a future with.”

Oh, snap. You’d better bring your A-game, Mark. All aboard the Love (or Friendzone) Boat!

Did you hear that, rose lovers? That awkward silence is the sound of Mark and Joan having no idea what to say to each other. “Wow,” he murmurs, staring off at the open water. Joan chugs her champagne and stares, too.

Eventually, the ship’s captain arrives with a conversational floatation device:

Oh, thank the Lord. Jesse Palmer to the rescue with a mandatory scavenger hunt! Each clue has conversation prompts, like “never have I ever” and “would you rather.” As corny as it sounds, the game works — and finally, Mark and Joan are saying 10, sometimes even 12, words to each other at a time. Success!

Later, Mark shares more memories of his wife, and he tells her about the hummingbird from the other day. It’s a sweet moment, and both he and Joan get emotional. It pretty much makes up for the slow start of their date — but I’m not really sensing much more than friendship chemistry between them. Joan tends to agree. “I feel like we have a much deeper connection,” she says. “But there still seems to be something missing.”

The next day, all the men are convinced that Mark is getting a hometown date rose. Mark is feeling pretty good about his chances, too… until Joan shows up at the mansion unannounced and asks to speak with him.

“I had a great date yesterday,” she begins. “We had important conversations, and I loved to hear about how your personal journey has been, how healing it has been…” Joan goes on to assure Mark that he’s an “amazing man,” but the bottom line is, she doesn’t think he’s quite ready for a serious relationship. “I feel like you’ve grown so much personally, and that your heart is mending,” Joan explains. But “I feel like I just came into this a little too early for you…I need somebody who is as far along in their journey as I am.”

Remember how the “this season on” preview showed Joan kissing Mark overlaid with audio of her saying, “I love you, Mark”? Well, she did kiss him — like, in week two — and she does say, “I love you, Mark,” but it’s as part of her goodbye.

Related: Behind the scenes of the Golden Bachelorette striptease date (exclusive)

As for Kelsey’s dad, he handles the rejection gracefully. “My experience here has changed me,” he says. “I’m leaving here, I know, a better human being.” They part with a warm hug. “Thank you so much,” he whispers into her hair, before heading inside to let the guys know that he’s on his way home.

There isn’t a dry eye in the living room after Mark breaks the news.

“I’m very sad,” says Pascal through tears. “He was my best friend.” Mournful music plays as Mark packs up his clothes and heads outside to the Reject SUV. “There’s still love in the world,” he says. “I’ll find mine someday.” Yes, you will, sir — but not as Golden Bachelor, because that job is reserved for Charles.

Welp, it’s time for the final rose ceremony before hometown dates. Whose dreams will die today? Only Joan knows for sure — and she’s come dressed as the world’s sexiest senior executioner.

Get it, leather granny! It’s time for the rose ceremony roll call. The final four are: Pascal, Chock, Guy, and Jordan. Alas, that means we must say goodbye to Keith and Jonathan — a.k.a. our big, cuddly teddy bear and Sgt. Sexy himself. Godspeed, gentlemen!

“I’m disappointed that my relationship with Joan is ending,” says Keith. “But this has opened up my eyes to a second chance at love.” Oh man, this guy would THRIVE in Golden Paradise, don’t you think, rose lovers?

For whatever reason, Joan hugs Keith goodbye but then walks Jonathan outside, where they take a seat on the Bye Bye Bench. “You have made such an imprint on my heart,” says Joan. Jonathan thanks her for making him feel seen and says he’s grateful for the experience. Yeah, he’s for sure a contender for Golden Bachelor — but you all know I’m really pulling for everyone’s favorite data analyst instead.

Holy cow, rose lovers — we’re almost at hometowns! How are you feeling about the final four? Were you shocked that Mark went home? And who is your pick for the next Golden Bachelor? Let me know your thoughts on Twitter @KristenGBaldwin or on Bluesky at @kristengbaldwin.bsky.social.

The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly.