“The Golden Bachelorette” recap: The shortest goodbye

This week on "The Golden Bachelorette," Chock left (temporarily) to deal with a family issue, and the men bared it all on a striptease group date.

This week on The Golden Bachelorette, one frontrunner left (temporarily), a group date got a little risqué, and we learned that Guy does not know how to zest a lemon.

Let’s recap!

It’s week four at the Bachelor mansion, and rose lovers, we are witnessing a miracle: Pascal is doing his own laundry! (With a little help from Mark, that is.)

The group date card arrives, and after all the names are read — Jonathan, Pascal, Dan, Charles, Gary, Mark, Gil, Chock, and Keith — the guys realize that Jordan and Guy will be getting the week’s one-on-one dates. (Super psyched for Guy, who proved to be a true hero last week by giving Charles some much-needed closure about his wife’s death, and by joining Captain Kim to sing his song when the other guys begged off.)

Fun fact, rose lovers: I was on set for this “let’s bare it all for love” group date. And boy, was it a doozy:

“Now I know what bare it all means!” groans Gary, as he watches the “OG Chippendales” strut their stuff. That’s right, sir! You and your fellow contestants will be performing a striptease for Joan and a live audience. But don’t worry — it’s for a good cause. Explains former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe, who will be serving as the event’s emcee, “We are teaming up with Stand Up To Cancer to help raise awareness and encourage folks to bare it all… to your doctor, that is.”

Related: Gregg on his Golden Bachelorette exit: 'I don't think Joan liked me that much'

This is, of course, a cause that is “near and dear” to Joan’s heart. “My husband John passed away from pancreatic cancer,” she says. “So it means the world to me that you guys will be going out and baring it all.” Mark, who had been quite apprehensive about hitting the stage, says he’s now ready to give the performance his all. “It’s a cause that affected me, losing my wife to cancer,” he shares. “The instant change in every one of our attitudes was, ‘Oh, let’s get this going.’”

Hell yeah! A nice young man named RK leads the Golden guys through a series of striptease moves, like the “body roll” and “the shampoo,” before teaching them the full routine. From there, the guys head upstairs to choose their sexy costumes, which have names like “The Nutty Professor,” “Hot For Teacher,” and “Dr. Hunk.” Charles, bless him, chooses some kind of tourist get-up. “I’m young, energetic, and handsome,” he informs us.

You ain’t lying, sir!

The audience is loaded in, and then it’s showtime. Cue the Gaga! Jonathan, dressed as Sergeant Sexy, does his solo first, and he sets the bar high.

And no, he’s never done this before. The rest of the men follow suit, ripping off their tank tops, waggling their booties, and doing stuff like this…

We also need to take a moment to appreciate Kaitlyn’s over-the-top reaction shots.

The crowd, of course, just eats it up. They douse the men with (fake) dollar bills and shriek and whoop at each runway walk. When the show ends, the guys celebrate with a group hug. “This was so much fun,” raves Keith. “We want to show the world that it’s ok to be you and have fun at this age.”

After they put their clothes back on, the guys join Joan for the afterparty. “Today was a really special day,” she tells them, raising a glass of white wine in a toast to her nine suitors. Chock pulls Joan aside for a one-on-one chat first, and he asks her for an update on her mother. (She’s feeling better, fortunately.) The conversation quickly turns to their feelings for each other — Joan believes they could have a future together — and they share a smooch.

Keith reveals to Joan that he used to fantasize about being a Chippendales dancer, so today’s date was a dream come true. Jonathan presents her with his sparkly gold Sgt. Sexy briefs (or maybe it’s a spare pair, because the tag is still dangling in the back), and then Gary FaceTimes his son with Joan to wish him a happy birthday. Mark bonds with her over finding love again after loss. Like Joan’s husband, Mark’s late wife urged him to get married again after she was gone — and like Joan, he initially resisted that idea. And the date rose goes to…

Congrats, Chock!

The next morning, though, we find Chock out by the pool — and he’s crying. “My mother’s been very ill, stage four,” he explains through tears. “And, uh, my mother passed this morning.”

Awww, man. Poor guy. Even though he “knew it was coming,” Chock is understandably distraught. During a phone call with his mom’s caretaker, he says he’ll head out there to start handling his mother’s affairs. Chock heads inside to tell the men, and they guys are devastated for him. “I just want you to know, I’m going to leave,” Chock reports.

Related: Behind the scenes of the Golden Bachelorette striptease date (exclusive)

As they’re all sharing goodbye hugs, Joan arrives at the mansion for her one-on-one date with Jordan. Chock greets her in the driveway and breaks the bad news. “I’m so, so sorry,” says Joan through her tears. Chock explains that he needs to go home and check on his family. “I knew you’d support me on that,” he adds, and indeed, she does. “You’ve got to do this for yourself,” says Joan. “You’ve got to honor your mother, and you’ve got to take care of your family.”

Naturally, the show wants us to believe that Chock is leaving this “journey” for good. Joan reminds us that she, too, had to leave the show to be with her family at a time of crisis — even though things were looking “really positive” for her and Gerry. But the tell here, rose lovers, is that when Joan left, she told Gerry she had to “leave our journey” to be with her daughter. Chock, meanwhile, says he’s going to “check on” his family. It’s a subtle difference, but one that will become important later.

Okay, Jordan, it’s time for your one-on-one date.  Joan does her best to shake off Chock’s departure so she can be “100 percent present” for her day with the 61-year-old sales manager. Today’s “melt my heart” date involves… ice skating! Jordan does NOT love it, but he’s willing to power through. “I can’t imagine anything I’m worse at than ice skating,” he admits. “But for Joan, I’ll give it a shot.”

“Oooh! That hurt!” cries Jordan. “That’s not going to be the only time.” Joan can’t help but laugh, and then she offers to pull Jordan the rest of the way, so he doesn’t break a hip or whatever. Who approved this date anyway???

Fortunately, the skating portion of the afternoon is brief, and then Jordan and Joan sit down for some hot chocolate. During their chat, Jordan Opens Up? about his divorce (his wife cheated on him), and how he and his three kids moved into a two-bedroom apartment after the split. “It was really a special [time],” he says, explaining how they all helped heal each other.

Suddenly, the (artificial) pine trees in the background part, revealing… REO Speedwagon!

As the duo launches into an acoustic version of “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” Joan and Jordan carefully slow dance on the ice — this time, though, they have special grippy soles on their shoes, so no one wipes out. In case you haven’t already guessed, rose lovers, Jordan gets the date rose.

The final date of the week goes to Guy. He’s divorced, and for a long time he “withdrew” and “wasn’t ready” to start dating again. Now, though, he’s in the mood for love. The SUV drops Guy off at the Sun House Malibu, a gorgeous Airbnb abode, for an at-“home” cooking date with Joan. One tray of lemon baked ziti coming up!

Joan’s surprised that Guy barely knows how to zest a lemon. “The guy’s an ER doctor!” she says. “I’m a little worried.” He does a little better chopping the onion, and more importantly, he follows orders pretty well. While the ziti bakes in the oven, he and Joan make cupcakes for dessert.

Hey! You haven’t even had your dinner yet!

Back at the mansion, Mark is on the phone with his daughter, Kelsey, and our sweet angel baby Joey. “I’m telling you, this has been the best time in the last six-and-a-half years,” he raves. “Honestly, it’s better than therapy. And Joan is just, like, incredible.” Kelsey and her husband-to-be encourage him to make the most of the “journey,” and tell him they hope to see him at hometown dates.

Once Joan and Guy finish dinner, he Opens Up? about his past marriage, which ended after 34 years. “When our youngest went away, all of a sudden we were semi-empty nesters,” he tells Joan. “I thought we had a really good marriage for about 30 years, but when we would talk, we didn’t have open and honest communication.”

Guy realized he wasn’t happy, and he and his then-wife went to couples counseling — but ultimately, they just couldn’t work it out. For a long time after the split, Guy admits that he didn’t want to see anyone, including family and friends. Eventually, though, his kids staged a kind of intervention, telling him how much they loved him and just wanted him to be happy. Today, their dream has been achieved: Guy feels great, and a lot of it, he says, has to do with Joan. You know what happens next, rose lovers:

“Dopamine is just exploding out of my ears right now!” gushes Guy. (Spoken like a true medical professional.)

That night, as Joan gets ready for the cocktail party, she admits she’s worried that Chock might not be able to come back. “Chock is an important part of this to me,” she says. “So, going into tonight, I feel a little scared.” Still, she puts on a brave face and heads into the party with a positive attitude.

Pascal sits down with her first, and Joan tells him she was a little disappointed that he didn’t put in a lot of effort to get her attention during the group date. The Frenchman apologizes and says he’s more of a “one-on-one type of person,” and he just worried about appearing “aggressive.” Joan understands, and then they sample some macarons.

We interrupt this recap to bring you some product placement, already in progress:

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Over two heart-shaped bowls of (promotional consideration provided by) Cheerios, Jonathan and Joan compare morning routines. He likes to get up and have coffee in bed, she gets up, works out, and then leaves for work by 7:10 a.m. (!) — but they agree that if it’s them in the end, she’ll share coffee with him in bed on the weekends.

Gary and Joan share a dance, and then she sits down with Keith on a makeshift beach production has set up in the driveway. The 62-year-old “girl dad” drops some not-so-subtle (and not-so-articulate) hints about wanting a one-on-one date. “I’m nervous, I’m sweatin’,” he tells us. “I’m hoping I’m not dripping on the freaking food!” He continues to be tongue-tied and can’t deliver a clear answer on what his ideal day as a retired person would look like. “Maybe I just got in my head or something,” Keith sighs. “It’s really weird.”

As Keith slinks off in embarrassment, someone else calls Joan’s name. Could that be…? Yes, yes, it is!

Chock’s back, everybody! But we knew he wasn’t gone for good, didn’t we, rose lovers? “There was no way I was not coming back,” he says. Before people start screaming online about “how could he skip his mom’s funeral to be on a reality show?” or making other such assumptions, let’s all try to remember that we have no idea what the timeline is here — nor do we have any information about how Chock’s family plans to memorialize his mother’s death.

That said… I’m starting to have some questions about Chock. Last week, my colleague Dalton Ross and I were chatting, and I was surprised when he told me he doesn’t like Chock. “I don’t think he really listens,” he explained. “He’s always waiting to talk.” That stuck with me, and the more I watch and listen to Chock, the more I wonder how genuine he really is. He seems a bit too polished, and maybe a little too eager. I don’t like, for example, that he came back from his mom’s deathbed and one of the first things he said to Joan was, “I can’t keep my hands off of you.” Blech.

Related: Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos was once part of the Brat Pack… kinda

Anyhow, he and Joan agree to let their “armor” down and “open up” more to each other. Then they smooch some more.

Welp, readers, it’s that time. Rose ceremony roll call! Pascal, Jonathan, Mark, and Keith join Chock, Guy, and Jordan in the Circle of Safety?. Alas, this means we must say goodbye to Gary, Gil, Dan, and… OH MY GOD, WAIT A MINUTE! She didn’t give Charles a rose! Charles, our national treasure, is going home! WHY, GOD? WHY????

The other guys are just as broken up.

They’re sharing hugs, “I love yous,” and generally getting weepy over saying goodbye to four more of their new best friends. “I’m a little choked up because I’ll miss everybody,” says Dan. “I live alone, and living with a group of brothers is pretty cool. I’ll miss that.”

As for our dear, dear Charles, when Joan hugs him goodbye, she whispers, “You’ve changed my life. I love you.” Ugh, I love him, too. Though he’s headed home, Charles has no regrets. “I arrived in the mansion with sadness,” he says. “After several weeks here at the mansion, it really helped me pull myself out of the hardship that I experienced.” He says he will cherish the bond he has with the other guys, adding that he found “a different form of love” with the men.

The episode ends with the remaining guys coming out of the mansion to crash the exit interviews.

I’m not crying — I’m sobbing! How are we going to get through the rest of this “journey” without our dear Charles? Without adorable Gary and his positivity? Without Dan and his gentle spirit? Without… actually, let’s not talk about Gil.

Welp, rose lovers, we’re nearly halfway through the season. Before you go, a few questions: Are you surprised Keith got a rose? Do you think Guy has a shot at going far? And how many “Charles L. for Golden Bachelor” emails are you willing to send to ABC this week? Let me know your thoughts on Twitter @KristenGBaldwin or on Bluesky at @kristengbaldwin.bsky.social.

The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly.