HBO2 to air complete series of 'The Sopranos.' Here's what, when to watch
"Don't touch that. My program is coming on!"
That quote comes from our fictional guy Paulie Gualtieri, when he was in the can awaiting trial on gun charges. But you can say the same starting Friday when HBO2 runs the entire "Sopranos" series, seasons one through six.
"That thing of theirs" begins at noon and includes all 86 episodes. The final episode, "Made in America," airs at 7:15 p.m. Jan. 11. "The Sopranos" will run every day beginning at noon, so you'll have nights off to sleep. A man needs his seven hours.
Do you want to find out what happened to the Russian in the Pine Barrons?
What about when Paulie saw the image of the Virgin Mary, whatever happened there?
And of course, was Tony Soprano killed in the final episode?
OK, so you won't get the answers to those questions by watching the series, but we can promise that you'll have a lot of fun. Not everything has to be a dead dog.
So if you're a made guy who watched the show when it debuted 25 years ago this week or a junior member trying to earn your stripes, this week is for you.
But before you get your button, here’s what to expect.
First, we’ll break down the must-see episodes of each season. And we’re not including “Pine Barrens." That episode, which airs at 9:07 p.m. Sunday, is a must-see for everyone, but if you live near Jersey and never watched this, you’re out of our social group, that much I know.
And since we love bad guys, let’s break down the three biggest jerks in the series.
Oh, and if you are in the can or on the lam this week and can't catch the shows as they air, all episodes are available on HBO On Demand and on Max.
Must-watch episodes of 'The Sopranos'
The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti (6:08 p.m. Friday)
The guys are feeling the heat thanks to the feds, but Chrissy has problems of his own. Episode starts at a wedding and everyone loves a party. Plus it has the bakery scene.
Funhouse (10:45 p.m. Saturday)
A lot of action in this one, it ties up a lot of loose ends from season 2, and they spend some time on the boardwalk in Asbury Park. Can't beat that!
A few kind words: Are you a made guy? Celebrating Tony Soprano's 66th birthday with his best friends
Legends: The Sopranos: How James Gandolfini, beyond Tony Soprano, was a New Jersey legend
University (4:41 p.m. Sunday)
A tough watch because of the tragedy that occurs, but this one really tugs at your heartstrings.
Whoever Did This (7:33 p.m. Monday)
This episode has arguably the saddest death of the series (yes, it was a horse, but how many other victims were innocent?) and really opens your eyes to the kind of person Tony Soprano is. I guess all episodes do that, but this one cuts deep.
Long Term Parking (10 p.m. Tuesday)
Another episode that ties up many loose ends. You do lose one of the best characters in the show in this one, but still a powerful episode.
Made in America (7:15 p.m. Jan. 11)
The final episode of the series is greatly debated. Was it great? Was it terrible? You decide. But you can't argue, even if you didn't care for the final scene, it was an entertaining episode.
Worst bad guys
One of the best parts about watching "The Sopranos" is you have to cheer for the bad guy. Why? Because just about every character in the show is a bad guy. It's fun cheering for the bad guy. But who are the real bad guys?
Maybe it's our connection with Tony Soprano, but these guys all have very few redeeming qualities.
Richie Aprile
This character couldn't die soon enough for my liking. He's cruel, a thief, a murderer and unlike the other guys, he's not very funny.
Ralph Cifaretto
This dude killed Pie O'My. Sure, he brutally killed an innocent stripper, was a bad guy in every possible way and probably the slimiest dude in the series for how he treated people. But he killed Pie O'My, which makes him so unlikeable.
Phil Leotardo
The guy who does the most evil in the show is a hard guy to like because there are few funnier than him. It's easy to like guys with that much charisma, but Phil isn't your friend. The longer you watch him, your estimation of him as a man plummets.
This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: From Pine Barrens to Made in America, must-see 'Sopranos'
