Hollywood’s Mental Health Crisis: ‘General Hospital’s Tabyana Ali Breaks Silence About How Online Trolls “Led Me To Question My Self-Worth” – Guest Column
Editor’s note: This is the latest in a series of Deadline reports looking at how the current upheaval in the media & entertainment industry is impacting mental health. Here, General Hospital actress Tabyana Ali, who has played Trina Robinson on the ABC sudser since 2022, speaks out for the first time about the online trolling she endured this year. The racist comments became so egregious that they prompted the daytime series to recently declare that “General Hospital does not tolerate hatred or bigotry of any kind. Racism has no place in Port Charles.”
When I first booked General Hospital, I was so grateful and appreciative. It felt like the world aligned so perfectly. I auditioned for Trina when I was 16 years old. I made it to the producer session with Sydney Mikayla and two other girls and Sydney booked the role. She did an amazing job with it and made Trina such a lovable fan favorite.
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Then three years later, I auditioned for General Hospital again. I thought they were going to add an addition to Trina’s circle, like a family member or a new friend, but after getting a callback, going to the screen test, and booking the show, I found out in the script that the role I booked was for Trina. It was cool and surreal. When I was younger, I wanted to show that I could do more than just comedy and General Hospital has given me that opportunity.
No one told me I had to maintain a social media presence, but in this era of the industry it certainly feels like there’s an unspoken expectation to maintain a presence. Social media allows you to help build your brand while giving fans an opportunity to relate to you by sharing a glimpse of your life.
I first found out about the trolls from another cast member who was sharing their own experience with online bullying and explaining why they have their social media platforms set up the way they do. Eventually I got my own taste of it. It started out with the small things at first, but got progressively worse and eventually resulted in racially charged and life-threatening comments that were incredibly hurtful and damaging.
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At first, I didn’t pay them much attention. These people didn’t know me, and I didn’t know them, so their comments didn’t hold any value. But eventually I started having self-esteem issues that led me to start questioning my self-worth. I would see comments suggesting that because I’m Black, I’m not as attractive as my on-screen counterparts and that I shouldn’t be in in an interatrial relationship. They said that my value and talent didn’t compare.
I was having a conversation with a friend who has unfortunately also dealt with online hate, and she shared that as a result of all of the bullying she had endured, she no longer liked herself. I couldn’t believe she would say anything like that. I had always viewed her as exuding grace and confidence, with a magnetic energy. I started to feel like God was putting a mirror in my face and showing me how silly I was to be surrendering to the people hiding behind their computer screens. Even with all the accomplishments I had made in my career and beyond, I still accepted the negative comments as some part of the truth. It took some months of letting go of the narrative and accepting that I’m not mediocre, that I am beautiful, that I have value, and that I am talented. I look in the mirror now and wonder why I ever questioned that in the first place. I think about how offensive that is to God, to my mother and ones that came before. It’s not even about me. I’m something God created. I’m a product of them.
Even with all the accomplishments I had made in my career and beyond, I still accepted the negative comments as some part of the truth. It took some months of letting go of the narrative and accepting that I’m not mediocre, that I am beautiful, that I have value, and that I am talented.
I decided to say something because I was witnessing other soap stars, friends and castmates deal with hate, bigotry and racism online and I wanted to take a stand. I wanted the trolls to know that I see them and not just “I see your comment” but I see your “pain” and that online hate isn’t the way for them to be seen.
I felt so thankful that they were sympathetic and so understanding. The day of the post I received calls from ABC letting me know that they were in full support of me using my voice, and they had my back. I felt so grounded and so grateful hearing from them. I don’t think they understood how much that meant to me. My castmates/friends, both within the GH family and beyond, were also so supportive. They all rallied together and shared such encouraging words.
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The most obvious advice that I would give other actors is if you come across hate DO NOT take it personally. DO NOT give them your power by accepting what they say. PLEASE feel your feelings because you are human and that’s one of the most important parts of getting through hurt, BUT remember you are more than a social media comment. Being in this industry you’ve probably heard a lot of “no’s” and felt a lot of rejection, so this is just another simple storm that will make you stronger. Don’t stoop to their level. That’s what haters want. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
I know what social media is. When I’m tired of it, I’ll turn off my phone, touch some grass, see the sun, eat a delicious meal, and find something to do. Peace around the world for generations!
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