Hulu documentary follows Iowa natives who fled state after LGBTQ+ legislation

A new Hulu documentary explores the lives of LGBTQ+ people in the Midwest.

"We Live Here: The Midwest" shares the stories of five families including a gay Black couple in Nebraska, a pair of lesbian farmers in Kansas and a former Des Moines metro-based duo, Nia and Katie Chiaramonte.

The Chiaramontes lived in Indianola, a suburb about 20 minutes outside of downtown Des Moines, when the documentary was filmed in March 2022. But the high school sweethearts don't live here anymore, a move they said was driven by LGBTQ+ legislation passed by state lawmakers. Last year, they moved to Maryland where Nia found a role in corporate America.

"Queer love, queer families are really so beautiful and yes, we're ordinary people, but our love is really extraordinary, and we don't want to hold it to ourselves, we want to share it with you," Katie said about the family's documentary appearance.

'We Live Here' stars Nia and Katie Chiaramonte meet in second grade, date in high school

The Chiaramontes first met in second grade, became best friends in eighth grade and started dating as juniors at Des Moines Christian in 2000.

The couple graduated from the University of Northern Iowa in 2005. Both women had conservative upbringings with religious parents.

"Growing up in a Christian school, Christian evangelical households, we had one very specific view of the world," Nia said. "And so, growing up that way and then our own kind of beliefs had to shift and morph in order for us to uncover who we are."

During the 2010s, Katie, who identifies as queer, started preaching at local churches. In 2017, the family moved to Indianola. They said their family was accepted by neighbors in central Iowa — until 2018. That year, Nia came out as trans. And for Katie, who was a central part of their local church, everything changed.

"I felt like she gifted me the awareness of my own queerness because she's the only person I ever loved," Katie said. "So when she came out, she allowed me to dig deeper into myself and understand my own person."

How 'We Live Here' Hulu doc depicts Nia and Katie's journey in Iowa

The movie features vignettes of each family as they process the pitfalls and pain that are attached to a politicized environment surrounding LGBTQ+ rights in the heartland.

The film shows how the couple handles Nia's complicated family dynamic and the fraught relationship she shares with her parents and sister. It also shows how the family's five children navigated Nia's coming out as trans. And it explores how religion has intersected in the lives of both women in past pivotal moments.

Iowa itself has a complicated history in the struggle for LGBTQ+ rights. An Iowa Supreme Court ruling in 2009 made the Hawkeye state the third in the nation to legalize same-sex marriage. The next year, three of the justices were removed from the court after judicial retention elections.

In recent years, the state's Republican-led legislature has passed bills that have drawn criticism from advocates for LGBTQ+ rights. Legislation last year restricted access to gender-affirming health care for transgender youth and placed limits on LGBTQ+ topics in classrooms.

More: ACLU of Iowa, Lambda Legal sue to block Iowa law that bans LGBTQ teaching, explicit books

"We know that, especially trans children, are more likely to be depressed and more likely to die by suicide. We know that and I think that we use those as stats instead of really putting a face to that," Katie said. "People are not heartless, they're not cruel. But we've made, again, issues out of people."

'It's like that fun aunt that you see once a year' family says after leaving Iowa

For Nia and Katie, distance makes the heart grow fonder when it comes to their home state.

"The farther we are away from it, the more nostalgia and love that we can have for it because we're not in an active relationship, I guess," Katie said. "It's like that fun aunt that you see once a year and that's really great."

The moms of five said that they needed to leave Iowa for Maryland to put themselves in the best mental health position as parents. Indianola was a happy place for the family's children to grow up, but Maryland is a better place for their family as a whole, they added.

"We will continue to support the people who we love there and all the queer people in the state that continue to fight and are exhausted on a daily basis from some of this stuff because it is our homeland," Nia said.

The "We Live Here" documentary isn't the only project the pair will be a part of. In the spring of 2024, the parents will release their book, "Embracing Queer Family," due out May 14 which explores their family's experiences.

How to watch 'We Live Here: The Midwest'

"We Live Here: The Midwest" premiered on Dec. 6 and is streaming exclusively on Hulu.

Jay Stahl is an entertainment reporter at The Des Moines Register. Follow him on Instagram or reach out at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: 'We Live Here' Hulu doc follows Iowa LGBTQ+ couple who fled state