Ian McKellen feels 'guilty' about fall which left him fearing for his life
The actor speaks to Yahoo UK about the 'emotional injury' he was left with after his fall
Ian McKellen continues to struggle with the emotional toll of falling off the stage during a performance of Player Kings in London earlier this year, he tells Yahoo UK.
The actor was playing Falstaff in an adaptation of Shakespeare's Henry IV Part 1 and 2 when he injured himself by falling off the stage during a battle scene. The moment left him with some physical injuries but he admits the incident impacted his mental health more, and he has been left with a sense of guilt over pulling out from the play and its nationwide tour, which ran until the end of July.
McKellen, who is currently promoting his new film The Critic (in UK cinemas from 13 September), is keen to one day return to the role in order to finish what he started, as it were: "I feel guilty as well that I let down the audience by not being able to do the tour, and let down my friends and the director. But, you know, you have to deal with that and know that everyone understands that accidents happen."
The 85-year-old actor began his career on the stage, first working in regional repertory theatre before treading the boards with prolific theatre troupes like the National Theatre and Royal Shakespeare Company. He gained much critical acclaim following his West End debut, playing iconic Shakespearean characters like Romeo, Hamlet, Claudio, Macbeth, and King Lear to rapturous acclaim.
Falstaff is another iconic role that McKellen wanted to do right by, and a character best played when an actor of great calibre reaches a certain age. Which is why, McKellen says, he hopes to one day return to the role.
"Maybe I'll go back to doing Falstaff because that does feel like unfinished business and I'd like, when it's all over, to remember that I was as good as I was going to get playing the part rather than 'ohh I had an accident and I just had to stop.'"
The actor also spoke candidly about the emotional toll that his fall had on him, admitting that while he has recovered well from the physical injuries he sustained there are others that are less easy to shake.
"Initially I was dealing with the injuries which were not all that significant," he says. "A fracture of the wrist, that's what we all do when we fall off a bike as a kid, you know? And a chip to the vertebra, apparently it wasn't very serious, in the neck.
"And they are settling down nicely, I'm left with some aches — not pains, aches— which can be dealt with by exercise. I'm doing Pilates, I couldn't have [lifted my arms high above my head] two months ago, so I'm just taking it slow.
"But I've been left with the residual, emotional injury. It seemed like it was the end of something as it was happening, I thought perhaps it was the end of life, actually it was frightening."
It was one of his longtime friends Anthony Hopkins, who he worked with on 2015 BBC drama The Dresser, who helped him in his hour of need by sharing some helpful words of wisdom.
"Anthony Hopkins called me up and said 'don't go back to work until you've really recovered'," McKellen reflects. "And I think that was wise advice because the recovery is not just the injury, the physical side, it's dealing with imagining what might have happened if I hadn't been wearing the padding, Falstaff's fat suit.
"So I'm going to take it gently, and how do I do that? Well, I'm seeing friends who I haven't seen for a long time.
Read more: The battle scene that Ian McKellen hurt himself in Player Kings is pivotal
"Any day now I'm going to venture out and go and see some plays and then do what I really enjoy doing, which is go and see everything that's on in London that I might possibly enjoy. And I'm catching up and seeing what's going on, I've been to a few promenade concerts which I always enjoy."
McKellen assures members of the public that they have nothing to fear when it comes to his health, adding: "I'm very well looked after by friends and neighbours, so no one need worry about me.
"And I've got my next year sorted out professionally, I'm going to start off with a film in January, to be shot in London, that I'm very excited about."
In the meantime McKellen can be next seen in The Critic, a drama about a cutthroat theatre critic who makes a pact with an actor he has often written scathing reviews about, Nina Land (Gemma Arterton). If he helps her keep his job at his newspaper then she will earn his lifelong favour in his reviews, and become a star as a result.
The Critic premieres in cinemas on Friday, 13 September.