Ilona Maher on Olympic Pressure and Prioritizing Mental Health on ‘DWTS’: ‘Learning to Let Go’ (EXCLUSIVE)

When Ilona Maher stepped onto the stage for Dancing With the Stars' Disney Night on Tuesday, October 22, her performance as the powerful yet vulnerable Luisa from the hit movie Encanto radiated strength and poise, but behind the graceful moves and dazzling smiles, the rugby star honored something much deeper—her mental health. In an exclusive interview with FIRST for Women after the show, Ilona opened up about the pressures she’s faced throughout her athletic career, her commitment to prioritizing her mental well-being and how her time on Dancing With the Stars has been transformative.

The pressure to be perfect

Ilona is no stranger to pressure. As a member of the U.S. women's rugby team and a competitor in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she often felt the weight of expectations—both from herself and others. Reflecting on her first Olympic experience, she shared with FIRST, “I put a lot of pressure on myself. Even at the Tokyo Olympics when I really struggled with my mental health, it was because I put so much pressure on myself. I felt like I was the reason that we lost.”

These feelings of self-blame and responsibility took a toll on Ilona, who was already juggling the physical and mental demands of elite competition. She admits that it took time to come to terms with her emotions and to forgive herself for what she perceived as failures. “It’s taken me a while to get to a point where I’m OK with that and to not put that pressure on myself,” she revealed, now in a new era of life after taking home the bronze at the 2024 Paris Olympics. “It’s about giving myself room to make mistakes.”

Finding strength in support

For Ilona, the key to prioritizing her mental health has been surrounding herself with a strong support system—both on and off the field. Whether it’s her teammates, her sisters or even her Dancing With the Stars dance partner Alan Bersten, these relationships have helped her stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.

“I always talk about, for my mental health, it’s important to connect with people around me,” she said. “I have a very amazing support system. Last week, you saw my teammates who came in—to have women like that around you, it changes you and makes you a better person.” Ilona dedicated her October 15 performance to the U.S. women’s rugby team as part of Dedication Night, with many of her teammates cheering her on in the audience. 

Family is also a crucial part of Ilona’s life. She credits her sisters with helping her stay balanced amid the rapidness of competing on Dancing With the Stars, the aftermath of a successful Olympics and her increased stardom. “To have my sisters around me makes me a better person, and they keep me grounded,” she shared. “It has been a whirlwind, and now, even to have Alan around me, that’s really been helping me too because it’s a very stressful time.”

Her dance partner, Alan, is equally impressed by Ilona’s resilience and selflessness. “Something about Ilona is that she is one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met,” Alan shared with FIRST. “If you watch Encanto and you see Luisa, she’s helping everyone, and I think that’s Ilona to a T. The first thing she cares about is how other people feel as opposed to herself. And so, I’m just so proud of her. I’m happy that she’s finally seeing how amazing she is.”

Relating to Luisa from ‘Encanto’

Ilona has often drawn comparisons between herself and the character Luisa from Encanto, the Disney film that highlights the struggles of the eldest sister who feels burdened by the need to be strong for everyone else. For Ilona, this character hits close to home.

“I love Luisa, and I see myself very much in her. I think my whole family does, and now even Alan does,” Ilona told FIRST after her jazz performance, which earned her a 25 out of 30 from the judges. “I put a lot of pressure on myself, just like Luisa does. But learning to let go of that pressure has been part of my mental health journey.”

That journey has not been easy, but Ilona is finding peace in the process. “I’m constantly learning. Even with the Jive we did the other week, it’s a lot of ups and downs. I’m never fully set or figured out, but I think that’s what life is—just continuing to learn about yourself and having people to rely on.”

Balancing dancing and prioritizing mental health 

Balancing her commitments to both rugby and Dancing With the Stars has been a challenge, but Ilona embraces the hard work. “I went right from the Olympics to Dancing With the Stars, so I haven’t had a break,” she confessed. “Even tonight after this, it’s so exciting and so fun, but tomorrow we’ll be in the studio learning a whole new dance. It’s like, OK, that was great, but let’s learn something new.”

Despite the constant grind, Ilona is learning to find joy in the process and to recognize that it’s alright to not always have everything figured out. She emphasizes that the journey is just as important as the destination, especially when it comes to self-care. “I think that’s what life is, just continuing to learn about yourself,” she said.

Ilona and Alan’s partnership has only grown stronger as they navigate the competition together. Making it to the next week of competition was a huge accomplishment, and for Ilona, the experience is about more than just dancing—it’s about growth, resilience and embracing her imperfections.

The importance of mental health

As Ilona continues her journey, both in dance and in life, her commitment to mental health remains a top priority. She’s learning that it’s alright to rely on others for support and that making mistakes is part of the process. With a strong support system behind her and a renewed focus on self-compassion, Ilona is proving that true strength comes from within—and it’s OK to let go of the pressure to be perfect.

In a world that often celebrates outward success, Ilona’s story and example of strength, compassion and vulnerability is a powerful reminder that mental health matters just as much as any physical achievement. Her openness about life’s ups and downs and her determination to prioritize her well-being is an inspiration to all of us, proving that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is open up.

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