I'm Trying to Spend All My Money on Hot Wheels, But Hot Wheels Won't Let Me
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Hot Wheels will not let me spend money, and I really want to spend money on Hot Wheels.
I get it. It's popular to shit on loot boxes. They’re digital gambling. They’re bad. They prey on children and weak-minded people like me, urging us to sink countless dollars into mystery plunder. But with Hot Wheels Unleashed, out September 30, I can’t stop trying and failing to spend money. You see, Hot Wheels Unleashed made its loot boxes arguably not morally corrupt. I literally cannot use my mom's credit card to buy them. There are no microtransactions or ingame currency, meaning there is no pay-to-win option. Sure, acquiring the loot boxes is still based on luck, but because of the lack of any real-life monetary value put on them, I can’t use my adult salary to get the TMNT van real quick and crush all those kids online. Your mortgage is safe for now, mom.
Hot Wheels Unleashed, in addition to being morally infallible, is one of the best racers I’ve played since Mario Kart or Forza, blending the nostalgia that surrounds the reigning champ of matchbox cars with a beautiful, hyper-real, perfectly plastic art style that hits at the core of the Hot Wheels aesthetic. You can see the material, whether it be glitter, metal, or plastic, as well as the imperfections—scratches and plastic cuts. It's that nostalgia that preys on my blind-box-influenced brain to get me to continue to strive to collect the more than 60 cars included in this massive game. For the first time, I'm thirsting to slam my card down. But Hot Wheels saw that because my collecting obsession from childhood would take hold, it wasn't ethically right to take advantage. This sent me into an existential crisis about my place as a gamer, my finances, and hell, even my beliefs in higher powers. Who am I if I am really willing to ask for a rent extension to buy fake digital plastic?
I thought when the game launched I’d be able to take out a payday loan and gamble it away on Hot Wheels; it seemed too perfectly addictive for Hot Wheels Unleashed to not fleece me of every last cent. The fact that it is not should tell you everything you need to know about the immense quality of this game. It’s so good it doesn’t need to milk its player base.
Now, all of this isn't to say there's no DLC; there is, but I'm excited for it. While you can’t purchase blind boxes, there are purchasable passes and expansion passes, many of which are centered around more franchises. Like, there's a Street Fighter collaboration. That coupled with the fact that the game is already in a very complete state means I will gladly shell out the extra dough. Plus, none of it is a mystery. You know what you're paying for, and you get it. It's not predatory, it's just in-step with the state of the gaming world.
Hot Wheels Unleashed is a phenomenal title for racers, or Hot Wheels fans, or anyone, that is not only lovingly crafted but chooses to take the moral high ground, even when I wish it wouldn't. Damn you Hot Wheels, and thank you Hot Wheels.
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