Immaculate Review: Sydney, Nun the Wiser
Just what is it about nuns that make them such fertile (no pun intended) ground for horror and exploitation movies? Blame it, perhaps, on generations of children educated by strict harridans in habits, who frightened and perhaps humiliated them for stepping out of line. Such early memories can create both deeply ingrained fears and fetishes, sometimes both at once.
Blumhouse’s evil nun Valak doesn’t likely inspire any positive fantasies, but the makers of Immaculate know that Sydney Sweeney sure might. They know what they’re doing with the wet-shirt bathing scenes. Enjoy them while they last, though – once the movie kicks in to its higher horror gears, you might be too busy gagging and wincing to think of anything more pleasant for a while.
Bad Habits
Sweeney’s Sister Cecilia is a young American nun, headed for a remote convent in Italy that’s essentially a hospice for elder Sisters. We know something’s amiss, because the movie opens with a young woman trying to escape the place, only to have her leg broken before she’s buried alive. Cecilia, however, is an optimist who believes God brought her back from a seven-minute near death experience in childhood, and she’s enthusiastic to spend her life paying back the favor.
A few nightmares about nuns in red masks pulling her face apart aren’t enough to change her mind, but when she finds herself suddenly vomiting, well, this is a movie and that usually means two things for a female character: she’s either pregnant, or cursed. And in this case, both. Since her hymen remains intact – so sayeth the dubious convent doctor, at least – it must be an immaculate conception. A scientific miracle baby at the very least, and the Second Coming of Jesus at best. Or perhaps worst, if one assumes a returning Jesus means the apocalypse.
Red Masks, Red Herrings
What follows is a pretty effective jump-scare machine of a movie, and while none of them are full on cheats like, say, cats in cupboards, many of the convent’s seeming dark secrets go absolutely nowhere. There’s certainly something nefarious at work, but many of the scary things prove not only tangential to it, but utterly unexplained by the end. One gets the sense that entire subplots were chopped either in the script editing stage, or the final cut. That said, it beats the numerous haunted house movies in which almost nothing scary is actually seen until the finale. Pregnancy in and of itself can be frightening enough; pregnancy in a creepy hospice that definitely contains wandering nuns with dementia and maybe contains murderous ones is an effective creepout premise that Immaculate milks for all it’s worth in terms of vibe.
Many kudos to production designer Adam Reamer (Grimm) for creating a convent that could be deliberately creepy or just old – Cecilia’s bedroom seems way too big for a nun with no possessions, but it’s all the better for things to be hiding in dark corners. In the catacombs below, cinematographer Elisha Christian has us feeling as lost and helpless as Cecilia, and anxious that some way out reveal itself.
Director Michael Mohan (The Voyeurs) proves that as a horror guy, he’s fearless and good at creeps – give him a story that feels less cut and pasted with big gaps next, and perhaps he’ll crush it. That creepy opening sequence, for example, is never referred to again, or explained.
Check Your Fetish
Because fans are being careful not to spoil the movie, it may seem from afar like something this isn’t – don’t expect any kind of spiritual sequel to Paul Verhoeven‘s Benedetta, for instance. It’s actually more akin to Gore Verbinski‘s A Cure for Wellness, while trying to be rawer and meaner. If blood from the nether regions is a problem for you, you have been warned.
It’s amusing to note that one of Immaculate’s most shocking moments is almost a copy of one that Gen X’ers and older may have already seen decades ago on the infamous British nuclear war TV movie Threads. (There’s also a lift from Halloween that you might guess from the image below.)
Sweeney seems as sure a bet for stardom as it gets, reminiscent of both a younger Scarlett Johansson and Amanda Seyfried. Though if she decides to go the scream queen route, she certainly has the chops. It was she who rescued the script from development and chose to play this final girl on a harrowing journey; from a horror perspective, even though there are cathartic moments, it’s only a shame she doesn’t do even more damage when tables are turned. She proves expert in making us feel her pain, so much so that some of us may be a little disappointed she doesn’t mete out more of it upon her tormentors in response.
SCORE: 7/10
As Coming Soon’s review policy explains, 7 is considered “Good. A successful piece of entertainment that is worth checking out, but it may not appeal to everyone.”
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