Ireland Baldwin talks healing from past abuse on 'Red Table Talk': 'A lot of learning I had to do'
Correction & clarification: A previous version of this story misstated the attribution for the definition of cardiophobia.
Ireland Baldwin is opening up about her experiences with abusive relationships and "unknowingly" perpetuating abusive behavior herself.
Baldwin, daughter of actors Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, appeared with her mother on Wednesday's episode of "Red Table Talk" on Facebook Watch to discuss the mental health issues they’ve both navigated, including dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and phobias.
The 26-year-old model told co-host Willow Smith that at one point, she was in a “really abusive relationship” and has been the victim of other types of abuse. "And I did go to a treatment center," Baldwin shared. "I've been through a lot of different kinds of abuse."
Baldwin shared she was hesitant to acknowledge her experiences of abuse and give them a label.
“Just like I didn’t wanna call my anxiety anxiety,” she explained.
'I know my dad, you simply don't': Ireland Baldwin defends dad after 'Rust' shooting
Part of Baldwin’s healing journey has included recognizing the ways in which she’s been abusive toward people in her life, she told Smith, which was complicated by her substance abuse at the time.
“I had been abusive to people unknowingly, ‘cause I’m not hitting them or getting physical," Baldwin said. “There was a lot of learning I had to do and a lot of acceptance of, ‘Okay wait, that was abusive behavior: I was an abuser towards someone else.’ But at that time, I just hit a total breaking point, and I was self-medicating with Xanax, and I was drinking, and I have a lot of alcoholism and drug addiction in my family.”
'She decked me in my face': Ireland Baldwin attacked, robbed by woman who was later arrested
Baldwin also talked about her struggle with cardiophobia, a cardiac-related anxiety disorder, according to a paper by psychologist Georg Eifert, featured in the journal Behaviour Research and Therapy. "When (my heartbeat) starts getting really fast even when I'm nervous, even slightly nervous, or if I exercise or anything, I start panicking to the point where I'm convinced, no matter what anyone says, that I'm gonna have a heart attack, and I had to go to a hospital,” she shared, adding that she's had over 20 hospital visits for the condition.
“I've had the same paramedics come to my house a few times, and they're like, ‘Here we go again with the girl with the fake heart attack,’ " Baldwin continued. "It's so crippling because everyone kind of looks at you like, ‘You're young and fit and healthy. You're fine. You're fine.’ … I want to, like, deck people in the face that tell me I'm fine, you know? Or to breathe.”
Basinger discussed her experience of agoraphobia, "a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed," according to Mayo Clinic, such as "using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd."
After suffering an anxiety attack inside a health food store, Basinger said she didn't drive for about seven months.
“I wouldn't leave the house," Basinger told co-host Jada Pinkett Smith. "I would no longer go to dinner. I could not even have people for dinner. We tried that, and it's really horrible to feel that it won as really fiercely as (it) did during those years and not know what it was. It's like something just completely shuts down within you, and you have to relearn everything.”
More: Khloé Kardashian says she takes Kris Jenner's beta-blockers. What do they do? Is it safe?
When it comes to her support system, Baldwin said her cousin Alaia Baldwin, sister of model Hailey Bieber, was there for her during one of the darkest moments of her life.
"Hailey's like my sister too, but Alaia, well she was the one who booked a ticket from New York, came to LA to see me," Baldwin recalled. "She was like, ‘Something's up. You know, I sense something.’ And she saved my life.”
She added: “I think I would've committed suicide or I would've been dead. For sure, I was so close. I could feel it, getting to that point, and she saved my life. She pulled me out of it.”
Basinger said her ex-husband Alec wasn't "emotionally or mentally available" to deal with Baldwin's anxiety issues, especially in the midst of their "heavy-duty, very out loud" divorce. “Alec, you know, operates in a very different way in his life,” she added.
“But he's someone who grew up in a family that would suppress that as well, or tell him he's weak for feeling that way," Baldwin said, adding that her father also suffers "greatly" from anxiety.
More: Justin Bieber gets candid on wife Hailey's 'really scary' stroke-like symptoms, blood clot
This isn't the first time Baldwin has gotten vulnerable about her personal life.
In April 2020, Baldwin hosted an Instagram Live series where she interviewed friends and strangers about their mental health. She said she was inspired to start the social media series because of her own struggles.
"I know everyone is probably so sick and tired of Instagram Live by now, but the reason I'm doing this is because I have severe anxiety disorder," Baldwin said at the time. "I've noticed the past few nights my anxiety has been really increasingly getting sort of worse at night, and it kind of hit me last night."
She added: "I thought it would be really cool if we all sort of came together and discussed these issues that we all deal with, and maybe something that works for one person might work for another."
Baldwin's parents, Alec and Kim, were married from 1993 to 2002.
In 2012, Alec married Hilaria Baldwin, and the two share six children. In March, the couple announced they were expecting their seventh child together.
Look back: Ireland Baldwin opens up about 'severe anxiety,' announces upcoming mental health project
'A very bright spot in our lives': Hilaria, Alec Baldwin are expecting their seventh child
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night. Crisis Text Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.
Contributing: Charles Trepany
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Ireland Baldwin opens up about relationship abuse on 'Red Table Talk'
