Is Jake Gyllenhaal's 'Road House' better than the 1980s original? Honestly, that's a low bar

There’s this thing where anything from the 1980s or ’90s is considered better than it really was, even though anyone who was around back then knows the truth.

Still, somewhere someone is flicking a lighter and grooving to “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” a single tear running down their face. And it IS sad, though for a different reason.

Or take “Road House.” The 1989 movie starring Patrick Swayze hasn’t aged well, and by that I mean it wasn’t anything more than a stupid laugh five minutes after it came out. It was dumb then and worse now, but our inexhaustible thirst for nostalgia has somehow tricked people’s brains into pop-culture amnesia to the point they think it was some kind of low-grade classic.

It wasn’t.

Is 'Road House' a remake?

Now there is a relatively faithful remake, starring Jake Gyllenhaal in the Swayze role, directed by Doug Liman (“Edge of Tomorrow”), so a reasonable question to ask is whether it’s better than the original.

It is, much. Then again, the original is awful. (I’ll agree to dumb fun, with lines like, “Pain don’t hurt,” but only a little.)

This time around, Dalton (Gyllenhaal) is a Bouncer with a Past, but a different past — he’s a former UFC fighter. He shows up at underground fight-for-cash events around the country, where his mere presence and the sight of his abs are enough to make his opponents cower. (Post Malone is funny as one of the would-be fighters.)

At one such event, Frankie (Jessica Williams) sees him and hires him as the bouncer at Road House — two words, they explain it — in Glass Key, in the Florida Keys. It’s in a gritty little town, and at first Dalton’s method of keeping the peace seems to be sitting at the bar while a riot breaks out around him. It's a rather Zen-like approach. But when he bestirs himself sufficiently to break up fights, that’s not all he breaks.

But he’s a decent sort, so he takes the people he’s injured to the nearest hospital, where he meets Ellie (Daniela Melchior), a local doctor. If you’ve seen the original, you know where that’s leading; if you haven’t, you probably do, too.

Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen, great at this sort of thing), the snotty son of a local crime lord, who is currently in prison, has an unusual interest in the Road House. He keeps sending bikers in to tear up the place on a regular basis and Dalton keeps sending them back bruised and broken. So Ben’s dad gets involved, calling in the big guns in the form of Knox (real-life UFC fighter Conor McGregor), one of the more gleefully unhinged villains in recent memory.

Jake Gyllenhaal seems like he's in on the joke

When Dalton says he’s in town to clean up some trouble, someone tells him: “That kind of sounds like the plot of a Western.” Later, that’s amended to sounding like the plot of a mystery Western, but it’s all leading to a showdown. And another and another and another — these are tough guys, after all.

Thanks to Limon, the action is a lot more realistic and innovative — at one point, the audience sees Knox from the perspective of being repeatedly punched in the face by him. Magnussen is fun as a character both spoiled and long-suffering; Arturo Castro is funny as a goofball biker who’s always the last to be let in on the gang’s plans.

But Gyllenhaal is the main improvement. He’s not a walking cliché; in fact, he seems like he’s in on the joke, that this is not a particularly serious movie, but he’s going to have some serious fun playing his role. That doesn’t mean he plays it for laughs. He’s just a more thoughtful Dalton, which may have something to do with being surrounded by better actors in a better movie.

And no one gets their throat torn out.

No one is going to mistake “Road House” for a masterpiece, but it succeeds far better at being what the original film set out to be.

Top picks: The 10 best movies of 2023

'Road House' 3 stars

Great ★★★★★ Good ★★★★

Fair ★★★ Bad ★★ Bomb ★

Director: Doug Limon.

Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Conor McGregor.

Rating: Rated R for violence throughout, pervasive language and some nudity.

How to watch: Stream on Prime Video on Friday, March 22.

Reach Goodykoontz at [email protected]. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. X: @goodyk. Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: 'Road House' review: Better than original — but that's faint praise