Kelly Osbourne on pre-sobriety life: 'I didn't think I could do anything if I wasn't drunk or high'
Kelly Osbourne is happily closing in on a very important milestone.
“I am [in a great place]. I am almost two years sober and it’s completely changed my life,” she said on Thursday’s episode of British talk show Lorraine.
Osbourne said that, looking back, she understands that fear was much of the reason she was taking drugs and drinking alcohol. She used both to switch off her feelings.
“I didn’t think that I could do anything if I wasn’t drunk or high, because I was scared of everything,” Osbourne said. “And I let it get the better of me.”
Of course, she’s since shifted her thinking.
“Now seeing that I don’t need that, my life is better, and I don’t have any drama in my life,” she said. “I’ve accepted the fact that really — I know I’ve said this throughout my whole life, but I really understand it now — that I’m not perfect and I’m never gonna be and I don’t want to be.”
Osbourne, the 34-year-old daughter of rocker Ozzy Osbourne and The Talk’s Sharon Osbourne, has said that she began experimenting with drugs and alcohol even before she was a teenager.
“Little did I know, with every pill I took and every drug I took, I was just making everything worse. Everything worse,” she said in a May 2017 episode of The Dr. Oz Show. “It was never a party. It was never fun. I hated myself and that is such an awful feeling. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. And I can’t stand this ridiculous romantic notion that, oh, sex, drugs and rock and roll, it’s amazing, it’s fun. No, it’s a matter of life and death. If you don’t stop, you will die. That’s just how it goes.”
Last year, Osbourne explained that she made the decision to get sober because she sank to a “spiritual low.”
“For me, it wasn’t necessarily I’d lost my job, because I was still working and functioning through all of it,” she said on the British show Loose Women, per People, in July 2018. “I was so unbelievably miserable, I didn’t care if I lived anymore or not. I didn’t care what happened to me, I didn’t care who I woke up next to. I just didn’t care about anything.”
She didn’t even feel alive.
“I was looking out my window — I live in this apartment building and you could see everything below — and I knew what time everybody was coming home and what they did. And I was like, ‘What is happening to my life that I know all this?’” Osbourne said. “I haven’t been to a grocery store for myself in two years, I haven’t done anything, a functioning human being, I am chemically dependent to function. I couldn’t live like that anymore. For me it was either I was going to die or get help.”
Osbourne marked one year of sobriety in August with an emotional public statement, which included special acknowledgment of her parents and brother Jack for all their support.
In case the many fans of former MTV show The Osbournes are wondering, Osbourne noted Thursday that her family and former co-stars on the show are doing well, too.
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