Late night hosts react to Rudy Giuliani's $148 million defamation lawsuit loss
America's formerly favorite mayor is late night's currently (tonight, anyway) favorite punchline.
Rudy Giuliani had a rough day in court on Friday, much to the delight of the late-night talk shows that could finally react on Monday night.
Giuliani was ordered in federal court to pay over $148 million in damages to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, for falsely claiming that they committed fraud in the 2020 presidential election. The workers said that they were subject to racist and violent threats as a result of Giuliani’s remarks.
Because Giuliani is already dealing with financial issues, hosts Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert and Seth Myers were quick to discuss the money angle given the enormous award, roughly $105 million more than the plaintiffs were seeking.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Reacting to a headline that Giuliani’s own attorney compared his client to flat-earthers and said that Giuliani committed an “injustice,” the Late Night with Seth Meyers host had this to say about the attorney:
“Either he couldn’t bring himself to lie on Rudy’s behalf, or he genuinely forgot what side he was on.”
And later, after playing a news clip that ran down Giuliani’s financial troubles, Meyers took it and ran with it on his own:
“He defaulted on a phone bill, he bounced a check for his neck removal surgery, he owes $1 million in unpaid parking tickets for parking his car inside the living room of his apartment, he missed a credit card payment for a locksmith he hired to get into his house which he had locked himself out of and a second locksmith he hired to get him out of his house he had locked himself into. He also owes Blockbuster multiple copies of the film Rudy, after returning the ones he rented with himself edited into the footage.”
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Keeping with the theme of Giuliani’s finances and the judgment amount being so much higher than anticipated, the host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert also had money on the mind:
“The jury ordered Guiliani to pay them $148 million. $105 million more than they asked for. It’s a situation known in legal terms as: (laughs hysterically).”
“No one’s sure how much of this judgment Rudy will actually be able to pay because his net worth is unknown, although a financial statement acquired during discovery listed his personal assets as ‘two empty Franzia boxes and a paper bag labeled “Backup Teeth?’”
”The point is Rudy needs cash and he needs it real quick. He’s gonna have to stop making videos on Cameo and start making videos on Only Fans.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
To help ease the financial burden of the judgment for the cash-strapped Giuliani, The Tonight Show’s Fallon said there will be “plenty of options” for Giuliani to make money and even offered up a few ideas for different jobs he can do — paired with photos to make the punchlines even punchier:
“Sell his sideburn flop sweat as HP Printer Toner.”
“Play Ebenezer Scrooge the moment he first sees a Christmas ghost.”
“Be a model for Crest White Strips: Top Teeth Only.”
“Be the “Why I Oughta” principal in a Nickelodeon sitcom.”
“Mow lawns for Four Seasons Total Landscaping.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Late Night With Seth Meyers air on NBC; The Late Show with Stephen Colbert airs on CBS.
