Mel Giedroyc’s milkmaid, France’s middle finger: 10 utterly absurd Eurovision 2023 moments

Douze points for the Scousers. Yes, the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2023 was a triumph for host city Liverpool, staging the event on behalf of war-torn Ukraine.

After a nail-bitingly tight finish, Swedish dance-pop diva Loreen won the coveted crystal microphone with her soaring anthem Tattoo. Following her victory with Euphoria in 2012, Loreen became only the second act in Eurovision history to win twice (after Ireland’s Johnny Logan, fact fans). Sadly the UK’s Mae Muller had less luck, finishing in 25th place – a chastening second from bottom. "Not the result we hoped for,” she tweeted with masterful understatement.

It was a deliriously over-the-top audio-visual extravaganza but across the epic four-hour broadcast, it was easy to blink and miss things. Here’s a handy rewind of 10 lighter moments you might have missed:

1. Mel Giedroyc churning butter

Graham Norton had a frantic night, dashing between his usual post in the BBC commentary booth and on-stage hosting duties. When he wasn’t behind the mic, Mel Giedroyc filled in with her gently sarcastic observations (“Wowsers McTrousers!” was one notable gem).

She caught viewers off-guard by popping up in the background of one link, dressed as a Polish milkmaid (Giedroyc is of Polish descent) and suggestively churning butter - a nod to Poland’s 2014 entry Donatan & Cleo. It reduced Norton to hysterics and recalled the halcyon days of her soggy-bottomed innuendos in the Bake Off tent.

2. Croatia bait Putin in their underpants

In their home country, Croatia’s Let 3 are a notorious anarcho-punk group who have poked fun at nationalism, supported LGBT Pride and were once arrested for performing naked - even though the band claimed they weren't entirely unclothed because they had “corks in their butts”. Don't try this at home.

Dressed in fake moustaches and militaristic fetish-wear in front of two giant nuclear warheads, their anti-war song Mama ?Č! was an audacious takedown of Vladimir Putin, calling the Russian leader an "alligator psychopath” and mocking how he was gifted a tractor by Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko for his 70th birthday. Naturally, they ended their eye-popping performance by stripping down to their Y-fronts. It sent Twitter into a tailspin.

3. Austria photobombs the presenters

Austrian duo Teya & Salena kicked off proceedings with their high-concept stomper Who The Hell Is Edgar?. The lyrics saw them possessed by the ghost of goth poet Edgar Allen Poe, who compels them to write a song. As you do. The endearingly quirky pair had a ball after their performance, stealing the limelight by goofing around in the background and giving side-eye to the camera. It’s what Poe would have wanted. Probably.

4. Hannah Waddingham gets hit on

Actress-turned-presented Hannah Waddingham was the breakout star of the week’s coverage, winning fans across the continent with her warm wit, language skills, singing voice and sparkly frocks.

However, several of the male jury announcers were a little too taken with her and preceded giving their scores by paying creepy compliments. Waddingham laughed off their advances with ease. The German was the only one who got away with it, thanks to him sweetly offering Waddingham a biscuit in a box – referencing a running gag in her hit comedy Ted Lasso.

5. Atomic Kitten shop at Iceland

A special interval medley showcased “The Liverpool Songbook”, with Eurovision faces from the past crooning cover versions of John Lennon, Melanie C, Dead Or Alive and, movingly, You’ll Never Walk Alone by Gerry & The Pacemakers. Scouse popstrel Sonia even returned after 30 years to reprise Better The Devil You Know, which finished runner-up 30 years ago.

The most entertaining segment, however, was Icelandic fan favourite Daei Freyr performing local girl band Atomic Kitten’s Whole Again with deadpan faux-sincerity, accompanied by surreal projections and a bottom-wiggling choir in matching jumpers. Bravo, sir.

6. Fair dinkum to the Australian delegation

When presenter Alesha Dixon dropped in on the Australian commentary box, comedians Myf Warhurst and Joel Creasey were on amusingly relaxed form. Explaining how it was breakfast time back home, they were eating Vegemite on toast behind the mic and enjoying large glasses of orange juice which they sarcastically insisted definitely didn’t have any booze in.

7. Jan Leeming gives as good as she gets

One of the night’s most endearing moments came when Graham Norton interviewed former newsreader Jan Leeming, who hosted the 1982 contest live from, ahem, Harrogate and still looked fabulous aged 81. What the global audience made of such a quintessentially British chat is anyone’s guess.

When Leeming marvelled at the scale of the event nowadays and modestly suggested that she couldn’t present it, Norton demurred: “Oh Jan, it’s like riding a bike!” “I beg your pardon?” she shot back. "How dare you!” Norton put his head in his hands and groaned: “Oh no, it’s all gone horribly wrong.”

8. France flip le bird

Ooh la la. French-Canadian chanteuse La Zarra was hotly tipped for her song évidemment. When the public votes were announced, some acts flew up the rankings by being awarded hundreds of points. When La Zarra received a modest boost of 50, leaving her a disappointing 16th out of 26, the crowd booed and cameras lingered on the 35-year-old.

She gave a Gallic shrug before spreading the fingers of her downwards right hand, then turning it over and insouciantly pointing her middle finger to the roof. She later claimed the gesture was “misinterpreted”. Oui, oui.

9. Georgian juror spooks unsuspecting viewers

Some of the international jury announcers play it straight. Others use their big moment as a bid to steal the limelight, cracking lame gags or sharing corny peace-and-love sentiments.

The hirsute presenter from Georgia did neither, instead gurning down the camera while wearing a bowler hat and goggles, like a sort of steampunk village idiot. He turned out to be Iago Waitman, frontman of Georgian experimental prog-rock band Circus Mircus, who were flop semi-finalists last year. Distinctly disconcerting nonetheless.

10. Dutch greeting gets mistranslated

When Dutch TV presenter Stien den Hollander, also known as S10, announced the scores from the Netherlands jury, she went down a storm in the arena by saying hello to the "girls and the gays”. Either coyly or clumsily, the BBC subtitles replaced it with "girls and gaze”.

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