“After Midnight” host Taylor Tomlinson demands a 'f---ing second to be sad' after Donald Trump's re-election
"Let me bury democracy first."
Taylor Tomlinson would like a f---ing second to grieve Donald Trump's re-election, thank you very much.
The After Midnight host addressed the 2024 presidential election results during her late night monologue on Wednesday, expressing her anger and responding to those who have called on others to mobilize in the wake of Democratic nominee Kamala Harris' upset.
"A lot of people today feel shell-shocked and depressed and can’t believe they have to go to work," Tomlinson began her monologue. "Me too. That’s what’s going on here, but I will say it is an honor to be on television while women are still allowed to be."
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Sharing that she ate a family-sized bag of jellybeans and rewatched Game of Thrones on election night to try to "calm down," Tomlinson quipped of a second Trump presidency: "I know people have said this before, but reboot culture has gone too far. And I say that as a host of a show that was rebooted."
"Why does he have to be president? Usually when you’re reintegrating an ex-con back into society, you just have to let them work at Baskin-Robbins," continued Tomlinson, referencing Trump's conviction in his New York hush money trial.
In all seriousness, "I'm honestly really mad," said Tomlinson. "I'm mad at everyone who comforted me the last week and told me it was going to be OK. I'm mad at myself for believing this wouldn’t happen. I'm mad at CBS for hiring me so that I cannot immediately leave the country. It’s a lot of misplaced anger right now."
Added Tomlinson, "When the numbers started rolling in and it was looking rough I could see the stress on news anchors' faces. You know when you’re on an airplane and there’s turbulence, you look to the flight attendants to see if they're scared or if they’re just chilling on their phones getting shaken up a little bit? Looking at these news anchors was like, oh great, we’re crash landing in hell."
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Well, except the anchors over at Fox News, who were all "just lighting fireworks and kissing each other on the mouth with tongue," quipped Tomlinson, before demanding a proper moment to mourn what feels like the death of democracy.
"A lot of people want solutions so they’re posting today about what we can do to move forward, and I think that’s valuable," said Tomlinson. "But also lets take a f---ing second to be sad. If your friend dies, you go to the funeral and you say, 'I really miss my friend.' You don't go to the funeral and immediately scream, 'Volunteer at the library!' Like yes, I’ll volunteer at the library, but let me bury democracy first."
Tomlinson joins a chorus of other late night hosts who've tried to calm stunned audiences after Trump's victory was declared early Wednesday morning. Pennsylvania delivered the final blow with its electoral votes, securing the twice-impeached former president a path to the White House and making him the first convicted felon to hold office.
An emotional Jimmy Kimmel called election night a "terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hardworking immigrants who make this country go, for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech," while Stephen Colbert said we were "built for rough roads" and would come out on the other side.
Watch Tomlinson's monologue in full above.