52 Hilarious Quotes From "The Mindy Project" That Had Me Snort Laughing

BuzzFeed

Tue, December 28, 2021 at 7:46 AM UTC

6 min read

Dr. Mindy Lahiri and her adorable colleagues on The Mindy Project have given us some really good quotes to live by. Here are the 52 quotes that were relatable, funny, and memorable (and prove why this is one of the best comedies of all time).

1.Mindy: "I figure if I am gonna be a mess I might as well be a hot mess."

FOX / Via tenor.com

2.Danny: "I wanna talk, but I am really hungry."

FOX / Via tenor.com

3.Mindy: "When you talk, my brain gets angry."

FOX / Via tenor.com

4.Mindy: "I want you to love me in a way I can show on Instagram."

FOX / Via tenor.com

5.Mindy: "My TV is broken, and I cannot be alone with my thoughts."

FOX / Via tenor.com

6.Mindy: "I am a hot, smart woman with an ass that doesn't quit."

FOX / Via tenor.com

7.Mindy: "A best friend isn't a person, Danny. It's a tier."

FOX / Via tenor.com

8.Mindy: "I can't hear you over the sound of your own betrayal."

FOX / Via tenor.com

9.Danny: "It's really annoying to me because I gotta put on pants and a shirt and shoes."

FOX / Via tenor.com

10.Mindy: "OK, if we are indulging imaginary situations I would love to introduce you to my husband, straight Anderson Cooper."

FOX / Via tenor.com

11.Mindy: "I thought I had hit rock bottom, but we managed to find a new sub-basement."

FOX / Via tenor.com

12.Mindy: "Are you in charge of being a douchebag? Because you're doing a great job!"

FOX / Via tenor.com

13.Mindy: "Did you know that when I die, in my will I leave all of my money to Tina Fey? I don't even know her! I just think she would spend it in interesting and responsible ways."

FOX / Via tenor.com

14.Mindy: "I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye."

FOX / Via tenor.com

15.Mindy: "Tattling is when a little girl does it. When a hot woman does it, it's called whistle-blowing."

FOX / Via tenor.com

16.Mindy: "Rapping is a hobby. Do you think I would just throw my life away simply because I'm good at naming celebrity couples?"

FOX / Via tenor.com

17.Mindy: "That's my favorite kind of cake. Gigantic."

FOX / Via giphy.com

18.Mindy: "I am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy."

FOX / Via giphy.com

19.Mindy: "Please let this date be good. May he have the wealth of Mayor Bloomberg. The personality of Jon Stewart. The face of Michael Fassbender. The penis of Michael Fassbender."

HULU / Via giphy.com

20.Mindy: "I’m sorry, are you saying that I’m not cultured? I’m deeply cultured. I’ve been to London."

FOX / Via giphy.com

21.Mindy: "If we’re still single in five years and we haven’t found anybody, can we make a pact? That we will kill each other."

HULU / Via giphy.com

22.Mindy: "Sir? You’re not using enough cheese on that pizza, sir."

HULU / Via giphy.com

23.Mindy: "I have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings."

HULU / Via giphy.com

24.Mindy: "I'll check that out, the minute I finish this tweet I'm reading."

HULU / Via giphy.com

25.Mindy: "I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again."

HULU / Via giphy.com

26.Jeremy: "This was meant to be my love letter to America, but it ended up like every love letter I've ever written with the authorities being called."

HULU / Via giphy.com

27.Danny: "No, Jesus didn't have a roommate. He lived with his ma."

FOX / Via giphy.com

28.Mindy: "A pregnant, Indian American woman starting her own business. I'm hoping that they do a documentary series about me."

FOX / Via giphy.com

29.Mindy: "I have been eating for two my entire life, and now I actually have an excuse. I'm not gonna waste it on steel-cut oats."

HULU / Via giphy.com

30.Jeremy: "Danny is not dying. He's the healthiest person I know. His favorite junk food is raisins."

HULU / Via giphy.com

31.Mindy: "Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?"

HULU / Via giphy.com

32.Mindy: "Oh My God. You do NOT slap a slapper."

HULU / Via giphy.com

33.Peter: "Family doesn't wait to be invited. It's like HPV — it just shows up and never leaves."

HULU / Via giphy.com

34.Morgan: "Have another hug." Jeremy: "I don't want another hug. I've had four."

HULU / Via giphy.com

35.Mindy: "Let me weave you a tale. Oh, appetizers are here."

HULU / Via giphy.com

36.Mindy: "Just make sure the pressure is firm and consistent, like trying to convince your boyfriend to do a couples' costume."

HULU / Via giphy.com

37.Jeremy: "In Britain, we have an expression: 'Keep calm and don't mention Uncle Susan in the attic.' That might just be my family."

HULU / Via giphy.com

38.Morgan: "She's the complete package. Heads, shoulders, knees, toes, knees, and toes."

HULU / Via giphy.com

39.Mindy: "Relax. I've been pulled over a hundred times, and I've never once gotten a ticket." Danny: "How?" Mindy: "The way I get out of everything: lying and crying."

HULU / Via giphy.com

40.Jeremy: "I can't go back to England. I've forgotten all the words."

FOX / Via giphy.com

41.Danny: "Italian people don't get over things. They let it fester and ferment and grow stronger over time. That's why our wine is so good."

HULU / Via giphy.com

42.Danny: "How many hours of energy did you drink?"

FOX / Via giphy.com

43.Mindy: "Dating is fun, but dating in secret is really fun."

HULU / Via giphy.com

44.Peter: "What am I supposed to do with my hands if I’m not holding beers?"

HULU / Via giphy.com

45.Morgan: "Are you kidding me, a winky face? That’s like Emoji porn."

HULU / Via giphy.com

46.Morgan: "My favorite hobby is also activities!"

HULU / Via media.giphy.com

47.Casey: "Great to see you, but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get these kids interested in Christianity? I had to tell them the apostles were the original One Direction, and they barely bought it."

Syco Music / Via giphy.com

48.Mindy: "I can do anything as long as it's just paying for something."

HULU / Via giphy.com

49.Danny: "How does an Englishman not understand English? That is amazing to me."

HULU / Via giphy.com

50.Danny: "No one's really an architect. That's like a job guys have in the movies."

HULU / Via giphy.com

51.Mindy: "After four vodka sodas, I realized I had something to say."

HULU / Via giphy.com

52.Mindy: "I'm at this point in my life where I can't just do what I want to do. I have to do things that really move my life forward like spinning. Do you guys know what that is?"

FOX / Via giphy.com

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Dr. Mindy Lahiri and her adorable colleagues on The Mindy Project have given us some really good quotes to live by. Here are the 52 quotes that were relatable, funny, and memorable (and prove why this is one of the best comedies of all time).

1.Mindy: "I figure if I am gonna be a mess I might as well be a hot mess."

2.Danny: "I wanna talk, but I am really hungry."

3.Mindy: "When you talk, my brain gets angry."

4.Mindy: "I want you to love me in a way I can show on Instagram."

5.Mindy: "My TV is broken, and I cannot be alone with my thoughts."

6.Mindy: "I am a hot, smart woman with an ass that doesn't quit."

7.Mindy: "A best friend isn't a person, Danny. It's a tier."

8.Mindy: "I can't hear you over the sound of your own betrayal."

9.Danny: "It's really annoying to me because I gotta put on pants and a shirt and shoes."

10.Mindy: "OK, if we are indulging imaginary situations I would love to introduce you to my husband, straight Anderson Cooper."

11.Mindy: "I thought I had hit rock bottom, but we managed to find a new sub-basement."

12.Mindy: "Are you in charge of being a douchebag? Because you're doing a great job!"

13.Mindy: "Did you know that when I die, in my will I leave all of my money to Tina Fey? I don't even know her! I just think she would spend it in interesting and responsible ways."

14.Mindy: "I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye."

15.Mindy: "Tattling is when a little girl does it. When a hot woman does it, it's called whistle-blowing."

16.Mindy: "Rapping is a hobby. Do you think I would just throw my life away simply because I'm good at naming celebrity couples?"

17.Mindy: "That's my favorite kind of cake. Gigantic."

18.Mindy: "I am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy."

19.Mindy: "Please let this date be good. May he have the wealth of Mayor Bloomberg. The personality of Jon Stewart. The face of Michael Fassbender. The penis of Michael Fassbender."

20.Mindy: "I’m sorry, are you saying that I’m not cultured? I’m deeply cultured. I’ve been to London."

21.Mindy: "If we’re still single in five years and we haven’t found anybody, can we make a pact? That we will kill each other."

22.Mindy: "Sir? You’re not using enough cheese on that pizza, sir."

23.Mindy: "I have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings."

24.Mindy: "I'll check that out, the minute I finish this tweet I'm reading."

25.Mindy: "I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again."

26.Jeremy: "This was meant to be my love letter to America, but it ended up like every love letter I've ever written with the authorities being called."

27.Danny: "No, Jesus didn't have a roommate. He lived with his ma."

28.Mindy: "A pregnant, Indian American woman starting her own business. I'm hoping that they do a documentary series about me."

29.Mindy: "I have been eating for two my entire life, and now I actually have an excuse. I'm not gonna waste it on steel-cut oats."

30.Jeremy: "Danny is not dying. He's the healthiest person I know. His favorite junk food is raisins."

31.Mindy: "Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?"

32.Mindy: "Oh My God. You do NOT slap a slapper."

33.Peter: "Family doesn't wait to be invited. It's like HPV — it just shows up and never leaves."

34.Morgan: "Have another hug." Jeremy: "I don't want another hug. I've had four."

35.Mindy: "Let me weave you a tale. Oh, appetizers are here."

36.Mindy: "Just make sure the pressure is firm and consistent, like trying to convince your boyfriend to do a couples' costume."

37.Jeremy: "In Britain, we have an expression: 'Keep calm and don't mention Uncle Susan in the attic.' That might just be my family."

38.Morgan: "She's the complete package. Heads, shoulders, knees, toes, knees, and toes."

39.Mindy: "Relax. I've been pulled over a hundred times, and I've never once gotten a ticket." Danny: "How?" Mindy: "The way I get out of everything: lying and crying."

40.Jeremy: "I can't go back to England. I've forgotten all the words."

41.Danny: "Italian people don't get over things. They let it fester and ferment and grow stronger over time. That's why our wine is so good."

42.Danny: "How many hours of energy did you drink?"

43.Mindy: "Dating is fun, but dating in secret is really fun."

44.Peter: "What am I supposed to do with my hands if I’m not holding beers?"

45.Morgan: "Are you kidding me, a winky face? That’s like Emoji porn."

46.Morgan: "My favorite hobby is also activities!"

47.Casey: "Great to see you, but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get these kids interested in Christianity? I had to tell them the apostles were the original One Direction, and they barely bought it."

48.Mindy: "I can do anything as long as it's just paying for something."

49.Danny: "How does an Englishman not understand English? That is amazing to me."

50.Danny: "No one's really an architect. That's like a job guys have in the movies."

51.Mindy: "After four vodka sodas, I realized I had something to say."

52.Mindy: "I'm at this point in my life where I can't just do what I want to do. I have to do things that really move my life forward like spinning. Do you guys know what that is?"

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