Nick Offerman lampoons ‘spray-tanned tool’ Donald Trump and JD Vance with parody song
Nick Offerman showed off his musical chops during a virtual fundraiser for Democratic nominee Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign on Monday (August 5).
The Parks and Recreation star appeared in the Comics for Kamala event, during which he sang an original song written from the perspective of Republican voters that “might’ve once been blind, but now can see a way clear to decency.”
Offerman played the guitar to the tune of “God Bless the USA” (aka “Proud to Be an American”) by Lee Greenwood as he sang lyrics taunting Republican nominee Donald Trump and his running mate JD Vance.
“When he mocked the disabled and war heroes, I looked the other way. He said to march on the Capitol, well if the president says it’s okay,” he sang.
Referencing Trump’s entanglement with porn star Stormy Daniels, he sang: “I don’t mind sex with porn stars, I’d do it too if I had the guts. But, when it comes to f***ing the furniture, that’s just f***ing nuts. I’m proud to be a Kamala Man, who has quit the GOP, because I just can’t abide a man who’s tried for 34 felonies. It’s time to stand up and face the facts that the men that I once cheered are a bunch of wing-nut white nationalists. Those guys are f***in’ weird.”
In reference to the July assassination attempt on Trump’s life, Offerman continued: “I’m no theologian, I thought it rather queer when they said that God let that fireman die, but only nicked Don’s precious ear.
“So I’m proud to be on Kamala’s side, where I know I’ll never see some spray-tanned tool denying a girl her ethnic identity. And JD Vance looks like a baby’s butt underneath that creepy beard, so I’ll say it loud and I’ll sing it proud, those guys are f***in’ weird.”
Ben Stiller, Kathy Griffin, John Stamos, Ed Helms, Tiffany Haddish, Ike Barinholtz, Mark Hamill and Rosie O’Donnell were also among those who spoke during the event, which raised more than $500,000 over three hours.
Elsewhere on Monday night, Grace and Frankie star Jane Fonda voiced her support for Vice President Harris during a separate Zoom fundraising rally called Elders for Kamala.
“I don’t recall anything like this where all of a sudden, it became exciting and hopeful and a total turnaround. And I know we all feel the excitement, but don’t you also feel the vast potential for the future that has opened up?” Fonda asked.
“It’s not just because the orange man is terrible, it’s because Kamala is the leader we need right now. She’s fierce, she’s smart, she’s experienced and she can beat him.”
She added: “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling it in my body and my bones, we can do this.”
Harris announced on Tuesday that she had chosen Minnesota governor Tim Walz – the man who coined the now-infamous “weird” moniker for their Republican rivals – to join her on the Democratic ticket to take on Trump and Vance in the November election.
“One of the things that stood out to me about Tim is how his convictions on fighting for middle-class families run deep. It’s personal,” she wrote in an Instagram post announcing the decision. “He worked with Republicans to pass infrastructure investments. He cut taxes for working families. He passed a law to provide paid family and medical leave to Minnesotan families.”
She added: “We are going to build a great partnership. We are going to build a great team. We are going to win this election.”
