'A place I never want to be again:' Phoenix Theatre play tackles substance use disorder

Indianapolis actor Jaddy Ciucci had little difficulty empathizing with the lead character in "Spay," a Phoenix Theatre production about a young woman trying to kick her heroin addiction.

Ciucci, an Indianapolis local who uses she/they pronouns, tapped into their personal experience with substance use disorder when portraying Noah, the play's main character. The disease, Ciucci said, runs in their family.

“My family would always be like, ‘Well, it’s what we do. We drink because we’re Italian!’” said Ciucci, who is in recovery. “Oh my God, it was causing so many problems.”

Noah is in withdrawal for almost the entire play, shivering, vomiting and constantly on the verge of yelling at someone. Ciucci, the mother of two children, said knowing what it's like to detox in addition to extensive research informed their performance.

“It reminds me of a place that I never want to be again,” Ciucci said. “It’s empowering. I go home and kiss my babies every night and I know that that’s not our story.”

Others involved in the play also had personal experiences with addiction.

As Noah agonizingly detoxes, she and her loved ones continue with their mundane routines, going to work, running the vacuum and taking their shoes off when they enter the house.

The play is a painful slice-of-life about a week in the life of a family battered by addiction. Noah struggles to get clean for her 6-year-old son so his legal guardian, her elder sister, will allow her to see him.

The play is in its second-ever production after premiering in Chicago two years ago.

Personal experience informs the acting

In “Spay,” Noah started using opioids in high school by stealing Oxycontin from her mother, who was prescribed them after a car accident.

Ciucci’s Noah is at war with herself. Although she’s apologetic and aware of how her words hurt others, the pain of withdrawal turns her into a bully. The character struggles to recover but relapses the moment she's given the opportunity.

Loved ones try to help

Shawnté Gaston, who’s also from Indy, plays Noah’s 24-year-old older sister who is caring for Noah and her nephew who has special needs caused by Noah's addiction.

“I related a lot in some ways to my character, Harper,” Gaston said. “She’s kind of the one who has stepped in, and that has caused her to grow up a little bit.”

Chris Saunders, the theater’s artistic director, had a close friend who struggled with addiction. He said the opening scene, when Harper brings home Noah after a recent overdose, is especially realistic.

“What you see is the tension of that person who feels like they are the garbage on Earth, and then the sister who has difficulty containing her resentment that this is happening yet again,” Saunders said.

Harper uses a tough-love approach to try and help her sister, setting conditions Noah must meet in order to see her son.

Saunders said he, too, struggled to set harsh boundaries between himself and his friend.

“I felt like, when the person needed love the most, I was denying that,” Saunder said. “They weren’t able to differentiate my boundary with me giving up on them.”

This conflict is repeatedly echoed in the play when Harper requires strict accountability and Noah feels crushed that her sister “doesn’t trust her.”

The play runs at the Phoenix Theatre Cultural Center, at 705 N Illinois St., until June 30. On Tuesday at 6 p.m. the theater will host a panel about addiction treatment options in advance of that night's performance.

Help for addiction is available

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, overdose rates in Indiana have increased from 29 to 41 deaths per 100,000 people since 2017. A 2023 report from Indiana University found that 8.4% of Hoosiers meet the criteria for substance use disorder.

If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, you can contact the Community Health Fairbanks Recovery Center at (800) 225-4673, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services hotline at 1-800-662-4357 or dial 211 to be connected with other local recovery centers.

Alex Haddon is a Pulliam Fellow. You can email her at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Phoenix Theatre stages 'Spay,' play about substance use disorder