Pump Rules’ Katie Maloney Recalls How She ‘Just Took It’ When Tom Schwartz ‘Blamed’ Her for His Infidelity
Katie Maloney did not hold back about what led to her split from Tom Schwartz — including the lesson she needed to learn before calling it quits.
"I held onto that relationship obviously because I was in love with him. I was envisioning, planning, wanting the future [and] everything with him. I think I was also very much broken. My confidence and self worth and everything was very much broken down," Maloney, 36, said during the Thursday, September 21, episode of the "Almost Adulting" podcast.
The Vanderpump Rules star recalled the biggest challenges in her marriage to Schwartz, 40, adding, "Obviously there was infidelity and cheating and stuff that happened and he blamed a lot of it on me as well and I just took it."
According to Maloney, it took a lot of time for her to come to terms with their issues.
Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s Relationship Timeline: ‘Vanderpump Rules’ and Beyond
"I never felt prioritized. He didn't really have my back or defend me or make me feel supported or heard. I just wanted that validation from him. So I made myself smaller in ways. I lost myself. I was a shell of a woman," she noted. "It took me working on myself in general — not really because of all of that — but I wasn't feeling great in my body and in general. I wanted to boost my own confident and just started working on myself."
Schwartz and Maloney confirmed their split in March 2022, which came months before they started filming season 10 of their hit Bravo series.
“Well this sucks. I’m not the victim. Not gonna write too sad a song. Fully respect Katie’s decision and we’ve had healthy, productive conversations about it," Schwartz wrote via Instagram at the time. "It would be far sadder if she decided to stay with me whilst not happy.”
He continued: "How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f—king canned Instagram caption. I'm not quite ready to use the 'D' word [because] it's too painful. We had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanly possible over the course of our relationship. I'm talking heaven on earth level joy. She taught me so much about love & being a better partner."
The former couple's post-breakup relationship took an unexpected turn when Schwartz hooked up with their costar Raquel Leviss at Scheana Shay and Brock Davies’ wedding in August 2022. Before the episode aired in March, news broke that same month about Leviss' affair with Tom Sandoval.
Meanwhile, viewers had a front row seat as Maloney and Schwartz navigated their new normal as exes. "Schwartz taking everyone else's side over me was a big reason why I asked for a divorce. And I thought now that having the pressure to defend his wife is gone he could treat me like everyone else," Maloney said in a March episode. "No. I guess it is not a wife thing — it is a Katie thing."
Schwartz, for his part, defended his decision to live life by his own rules.
‘Vanderpump Rules’ Cast: Then and Now
"Your feelings can be exhausting — I'm not going to lie. This does not affect me at all because I don't give a f—k anymore," he told Maloney. "I love you but this does not hurt me because I am disconnecting from you. You need humility."
Earlier that year, though, Schwartz owned up to the mistakes he made in his marriage, telling Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live in February, "I strayed a few times. There were times I thought the relationship was going to come to an end and I was a sloppy douchebag. I don't think I'll ever get married again. I'll fall in love, I just don't think I'll ever be married again."
The TomTom cofounder has since been linked to hairstylist Jo Wenberg after his brief connection with Leviss, 29. Maloney, meanwhile, dated Satchel Clendenin while filming season 10 of Vanderpump Rules but their romance ultimately fizzled out.
During her podcast appearance on Thursday, Maloney made it clear that she has no regrets about ending her marriage.
"I was not asking for the world. I was asking for somebody to show up for me and they couldn't. Over and over and over again. It just became a voice that became louder and louder and I couldn't deny it anymore," she explained. "It was over months — a period of months — and I just got to a point where I was like I need to get real with myself and real with him. I kind of just knew it. I became emotionally withdrawn. I still loved him but the love between us — that connection — that romance was not there anymore."
Maloney said she initially struggled with the "really difficult" decision to "detach" from Schwartz amid their divorce. However, it took watching the drama unfold on screen for Maloney to be comfortable with more distance.
"There was definitely a turning point where I was like, 'I'm good.' I think when I started watching the show and seeing how he was behaving and seeing how he was talking about [certain situations]," she concluded. "I was like, 'This is so gross to me.' I kind of started to resent him a little bit and that was a gift. That was helpful."
