The ‘Real Housewives of New York City’ Make Election Trauma Even Worse

It’s election night in America, and as a courtesy, The Real Housewives of New York City dialed the drama all the way back to offer a tepid showing you can mindlessly watch whilst doom-scrolling.

Is it old-school Real Housewives, or is it just boring? That really depends on what you’re looking for. But six episodes in, RHONY continues to supply the calm before the alleged storm, as tonight’s episode gives some much-needed insight into newbie Racquel and the marriages that bind these Housewives.

In the sea of solo scenes, Jessel’s rises to the top. Although she’s decidedly stayed Switzerland in the group conflict, Jessel is openly fighting her husband on camera like all Housewives greats must. Any man who wants to raise a mini Elon Musk deserves the hazing of a lifetime, and perhaps shouldn’t be tasked with raising a child at all. Maybe he’s doing Jessel a solid continually rebutting her plea to have another kid.

Still, she takes him to a restaurant full of ambience and hot honey chicken to make her case for not only trying for a baby, but starting therapy. Unfortunately for Jessel, Pavit can’t stop letting the food distract him, as his real goal isn’t to have another baby, but to make it as a food influencer. As for me, I was incredibly distracted by the fact the restaurant was completely empty for the first half of the scene. What happened to putting a production assistant at an empty table? Let’s make some movie magic.

Meanwhile, Racquel goes to lunch with her fiancé, Mel, where we dig a little into the relationship’s tricky beginnings. Maybe it started with some cheating, maybe not, but we keep alluding to but never outright implying a slippery timeline. Hopefully, Racquel gets prodded to really dive deeper into the issue, although she’s stayed entirely out of the group dynamic thus far, as well.

So far, Racquel has been a solid addition to the show, especially in solo footage, but her normie presence is ultimately impervious to the group dynamic. She actually gives old-school Housewives, in the sense she shines much more on her own than surrounded by the other ladies. They should tap in on that. Let’s follow Racquel to the grocery store! Let’s watch her pick what to watch on MAX! Let’s ask her if she and Mel are the product of a torrid affair! Maybe start with that one.

Sadly, Racquel falls into the background at lunch with Sai and Ubah. Here, Sai does her best to stir the pot about Jenna’s proclivity to plead the fifth about her relationship while flaunting a giant ring, but Racquel doesn’t bite. You can only take the high road for so long before you need to get in the dirt. Tick tock.

And finally, Erin hosts a Cinco de Mayo party to celebrate her new mezcal business. Yes, you read that right. The last time a non-Mexican Housewife threw a Cinco de Mayo event, it was Jen Shah, so fingers crossed Erin gets arrested on camera soon. Those are the rules.

After all, Erin does wear a dress to the party that has certainly been worn in the multiverse before (I want to say by Dr. Nicole Martin?), so go copy a Real Housewife and do your civic duty, diva.

The party is, unsurprisingly, a muted affair, although the unraveling of Brynn Whitfield is as prominent as ever. You see, everyone’s favorite sexy baby just can’t seem to understand why all her cast members can’t stand her. She’s so funny, flirty, and silly! And her brother totally agrees, pointing to the fact people have consistently hated her all her life, so she needs to learn to rise above it.

Rather than do that, Brynn shows up to the party to flirt with Erin’s dad, make fun of Rebecca Minkoff, and ignore the other ladies. See Racquel, the high road is not to be traveled in this universe, under any circumstances. Unfortunately, the low road solely consists of Brynn and Ubah, who are driving their cars incoherently in various directions, to the point their supposed feud is struggling to make it off the ground. I’ll certainly give them points for trying, but I’d love it if everyone else would chip in, too.

The polls may have closed in the U.S. election, but there’s still time for RHONY to turn itself around and win over undecided viewers, if only this tepid start will make way for an explosive future. And, just as those dreams start to seem futile, a voice from afar sings “Next time, on The Real Housewives of New York City…”.

The most interesting thread the trailer left dangling is finally here, as next week we launch into the pregnancy rumors of an unnamed Housewife. Will it all be a cruel editing trick, or is RHONY finally ready to play with the big dogs? That’s what I’ll mull over for the next week, as there certainly isn’t anything more pressing than that to keep an eye on.

Until then, I’m putting money on Rebecca Minkoff being the alleged subject of the rumor. There has to be something justifying her continued presence on the show, doesn’t there?