Review: 'Muppets Now' on Disney+ is an occasionally inspired but mostly charmless reboot

Forty-five years ago, Statler and Waldorf started heckling the Muppets from their cushy balcony seats on "The Muppet Show." Who knew that in 2020, we'd actually agree with them?

The lovably cantankerous armchair critics appear intermittently throughout Disney+'s painful new "Muppets Now" (now streaming). Together, they dish out ruthless but punny critiques of the Muppets' first "unscripted" series, which consists of interviews, games and self-help segments.

"It certainly met our expectations," Waldorf says at the end of one episode.

"Yeah, we expected it to be lousy – and it was!" Statler cracks as they buckle over laughing.

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Admittedly, we also had low expectations for "Muppets Now." Growing up, we practically wore out our VHS tapes of "The Muppet Movie" (1979), "The Great Muppet Caper" (1981) and "The Muppets Take Manhattan" (1984), three movies that perfectly captured the heart and humor of Jim Henson's iconic felt creations. There were irresistible song-and-dance numbers, inspired celebrity cameos, and meta jokes and running gags so outrageous that you'd always forget there was a small army of puppeteers just off-screen.

"Muppets Now," like Disney's other Muppets movies and the short-lived 2015-16 ABC sitcom, lacks any such magic. The six-episode first season is told through a series of video and text conversations as Scooter drags files across his laptop screen, attempting to cobble together episodes of "Muppets Now" on a tight deadline.

"We need to upload 'Muppets Now' now," Scooter tells Kermit the Frog in the show's opening scene. "I know we want to keep making it better, but our due date is today."

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That last sentence practically sounds like a mea culpa for the entire series, which is produced by Sabrina Wind, Bill Barretta and Andrew Williams (the latter two are Muppets vets). The concept – "What if the Muppets were YouTubers?" – is half-baked and lowbrow, assuming that the only way today's kids could possibly care about puppets is if they're influencers.

Instead of songs and sketches, you have Miss Piggy sharing fitness and relationship tips on her lifestyle vlog, and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker launching pizza across a parking lot in a "Mythbusters"-style science show. Fan favorites Kermit, Fozzie Bear and Gonzo pop in only occasionally, although in some ways, their absence is appreciated. (New Kermit actor Matt Vogel lacks the warmth of the late Henson and Steve Whitmire, who was fired in 2017.)

An attempt at mimicking Zach Galifianakis' mock interview series "Between Two Ferns" falls particularly flat, as Piggy grills Aubrey Plaza for six mind-numbing minutes and calls the actress "boring" but "alive." (Was any of that supposed to be funny?)

Plaza, and other guests RuPaul and Linda Cardellini, admirably try to play off the puppets' banter, but charisma can only carry bad improv so far. Strangely, the character who fares best is Pepe the King Prawn: minor comic relief in past Muppets projects who brings just the right amount of chaos to a silly game-show segment.

"I'm from Dallas, Texas," one contestant tells him.

"Why?" Pepe asks her point blank, pausing before awarding points at random and bringing on a penguin referee just because.

There are other glimmers of a much cleverer show, such as a cooking competition in which Danny Trejo makes chicken mole tacos, and the Swedish Chef puts a cuddly talking mole in a giant tortilla.

"I thought there was a method to this madness, but it's just madness," says turkey Beverly Plume, throwing up her wings in exasperation.

Sadly, there's not nearly enough madness in "Muppets Now," which suggests that maybe it's time to stop the music and dim the lights on this once-perfect franchise.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Muppets Now' on Disney+ will make you miss classic Muppets movies