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Rosie O’Donnell on Becoming a ‘Big Sister’ to the Menendez Brothers, Believes They Could Be Released From Prison in the ‘Next 30 Days’

Marc Malkin
7 min read
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Rosie O’Donnell received a letter from Lyle Menendez about 30 years ago after he saw her on “Larry King Live,” saying that she believed Erik’s claims that they were molested by their father.

“I was out to lunch with Barbara Walters and our publicist Cindy Berger, and I said, ‘Barbara, you’re not going to believe this, but guess who wrote to me—Lyle Menendez,” O’Donnell recalls. “Barbara said, ‘Ignore him, he’s a murderer. He’s very cunning.’”

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Walters had previously interviewed Lyle and his brother Erik in prison for “20/20.”

O’Donnell followed her advice. But two years ago, when a documentary was released that featured new evidence that Lyle and Erik were molested by their father, O’Donnell spoke out in support of the siblings on social media and in the press. “I got a call from Lyle’s wife – I didn’t even know he had a wife – asking if I would talk to him,” O’Donnell says. “He called me on Mother’s Day last year.”

Lyle and Erik are currently serving life sentences without the possibility of parole for the murder of their parents, Jose and Kitty, in 1989.

O’Donnell and Lyle became fast friends. “We talk a lot,” O’Donnell says. “I told them I would do what I could with whatever dwindling fame I have to bring light to their story. I said, ‘It’s not the 90s, Lyle. I’m not on that show anymore.’ I think if you feel strongly about something and you want to try to help society, you can use your voice because the children who are abused in their homes don’t have a voice. It’s up to the adults who were once those children to speak for them.”

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O’Donnell becomes emotional talking about meeting Lyle last year when she made a trip to see him in prison in San Diego. “I saw Lyle and gave him a hug,” she says, choking back tears. “Then Erik came over to me, hugged me, and whispered in my ear, ‘Thank you for loving my brother.’ It was very, very moving to me.”

I caught up with O’Donnell a day after it was announced that a court hearing has been set for Erik and Lyle as Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascón considers new evidence that they were allegedly molested by their father. At the same time, Ryan Murphy’s Netflix series, “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story, continues to bring renewed interest to the case.

What was your reaction when you heard about the D.A. and the new court hearing?

I got a little bit of a heads up from the guys and their lawyers. So I knew was coming. I was beyond excited. I knew that from having spoken to them that they were both afraid to hope it could be what exactly it turned out to be. As soon as the news dropped, I sent them a text and said, “It’s really happening. Now, put that smile on your face. Here we go.” This is what they’ve been waiting for for so many decades, and it’s about time. I think that we, as a society, it’s time that we said, “We made a mistake, and we didn’t understand what we understand today.” It’s kind of a miracle, but so deserving. I’m so thrilled for them.

When was the last time you spoke to Lyle?

Last night.

How are they doing?

They’re excited. They’re happy. I came in two years ago as a cheerleader. I told them then, “You’re going to get out of there.” They didn’t really believe me, but I believe that the wrong will be righted. They’re still reticent to believe it’s going to happen.

Did you always think this day would come?

I did, actually, because of the new evidence. Our culture was just not ready in 1989 or the early 90s to talk about this subject at all. But we’ve been through so much as a country in those 35 years. As a society, we now understand that boys are, in fact, sexually abused at a very high rate, almost the rate of girls. So, it’s a fallacy to think that men don’t do that to young boys.

When do you think they will be released?

Sooner than later.

Ryan Murphy told me yesterday that he thinks they could be out by Christmas.

I would be surprised if it were in the next 30 days. I don’t think they’re going to make them wait very much longer. Ryan did them a service by doing them a disserve. [O’Donnell previously criticized “Monsters” as being inaccurate.] Ryan is a talented filmmaker with his own style and stamp. I just don’t know that this situation, this true-life story, necessarily played into his wheelhouse.

But you could see how the show put more of a spotlight on the case and possibly pushed things forward.

I think everyone who brought attention to it should be commended, including “Monsters.” I’m glad that it happened. I’m not one to say it did or didn’t help. I just know, in my opinion, it could have been much more accurate.

Have you become sort of a surrogate mother to them?

I feel like a big sister in a way. Lyle is one of the most lauded prisoners in the California prison system. You can’t ignore that. If he was sort of the psycho who was screaming at everyone and a maniac, would he have done hospice for the dying prisoners? Would he have done all of the things that he did that allowed him to finally get moved from San Francisco down to his brother because he had ten years straight without one infraction? Nobody can mask their mental illness that much in 35 years. To be the extraordinary inmates that they both are is pretty damning testimony as well.

What kind of impact do you think Kim Kardashian advocating for their release has had?

I think it’s fantastic. She’s one of the most famous people in the world and she demands a crazy amount of media attention. I’ve never met her. I don’t know her. I think it’s great that she champions some causes the way she does, and more people should do that when they believe in something. I think she has helped the district attorney come to this conclusion right now. There have been many postponements since they put this in over a year. They’ve had this folder and all the evidence and all the facts for a year, but it wasn’t until after Ryan Murphy and Kim Kardashian — to give them both credit and in whatever way they want — that it happened. So bravo to them.

Are you going to reach out to Kim?

I wouldn’t know how to do that. Maybe I can call Kathy Griffin to get her number [Laughs.]

If or when Lyle and Erik are released, will you be waiting outside the prison for them?

If they wanted me there, of course. But I don’t want to overshadow things. Their family has been waiting for them. All of their mother’s relatives, all of their cousins, something like 70 people are waiting for this part of their family to be returned. I’m happy to see them or take them to dinner. It’s going to be a very, very hard transition. They’re going to need a lot of therapy to figure out how to be in the world after having been in prison for 35 years.

Where will you take them to dinner?

I’ve always told Lyle that I will take him to Nobu because he thinks that’s the place to go. Sometimes, I would talk to him at night, and I’d say that my friends and I went to Nobu for lunch. I’d say, “Buddy, when you get out, I’ll take you to Nobu.” When I talked to him the other day, he said, “When are we going to Nobu?” I said, “Sooner than you think.”

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This Q&A has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

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