What We Do in the Shadows Premiere Recap: Look What the Bat Dragged In — Plus, Grade It!
What We Do in the Shadows’ sixth and final season kicked off with a harsh wake-up call for the Staten Island vamps, courtesy of a (very) old friend.
In Monday’s premiere, the vampires marvel at how quiet it is around the house now that Guillermo has moved out. They get to talking about their old roommate, Jerry the Vampire, who they all loved. (“The man is all vampire, no bulls–t,” Laszlo declares.) Whatever happened to him, they wonder? Oh, right: He went into a super slumber, and they were supposed to wake him up for New Year’s Eve 1996… but they forgot. In their defense, “we had a lot going on,” Nandor says.
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They go down to the basement to wake up Jerry, first stumbling upon a pile of old body parts that Laszlo always intended to use to reanimate dead flesh, Frankenstein-style. They finally find Jerry, who’s been asleep since 1976, and he’s not thrilled that they let him sleep an extra thirty years — and he’s also not thrilled that they’ve totally dropped the ball on their “conquer the New World” ambitions. Plus, if vampires are supposed to be a secret, Jerry’s not sure why they have a documentary crew following them around. Colin tries to get Jerry up to speed on everything he missed by playing him Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” (a classic!), but Jerry doesn’t even remember who Colin is — which crushes Colin, since he considered Jerry his best friend, pre-slumber.
The vampires turn to Guillermo, who is actually living right outside in Laszlo’s old garden shed. He’s been living there for months and working at Nandor’s beloved Panera Bread, while he and Nandor have been working on maintaining good boundaries. (Just don’t ask how he gets by without a functioning bathroom.) Jerry can’t believe they have a former familiar living on their property. He can’t believe any of this, actually: “What the f–k happened around here?” He reminds Nandor that he was once a bloodthirsty conqueror, and recalls that Nadja and Laszlo weren’t speaking for years because she wanted to get a human job and he wouldn’t allow it. All the vampires begin to feel like failures — and there’s so much negative energy in the air that Colin is fattening up before our very eyes.
Guillermo blames the bad vibes on Jerry, saying he threw off the dynamics of the house. They were once friends with Jerry, he says, but “it’s just not working anymore.” The vampires agree… and immediately plot to murder Jerry. (“There are other ways of ending a relationship than killing the other person!” Guillermo protests, but Nadja counters: “Name one.”) Guillermo manages to stop them and placates Jerry by putting him in charge of the “conquer the New World” mission, linking him up with The Guide, who gets a little thrill when Jerry starts ordering her around in strict military fashion. The other vampires are forever changed, though: Laszlo is reigniting his dreams of bringing the dead back to life, Nadja is determined to get a real human job and Nandor sets up a nightly three-hour meeting for them to discuss their plans to conquer. But everyone’s so busy with their own pursuits, no one shows up for the meeting. Hmmm… they’re not gonna get very far, are they?
Give the Shadows premiere a grade in our poll, and then venture down to the comments (if you dare) to share your thoughts.
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