Shannen Doherty talks about her 'impactful' cancer battle, wants funeral to be 'love fest'

Shannen Doherty is opening up about her vulnerability when it comes to facing stage 4 breast cancer, and she says there's still more life she wants to live.

The former "Beverly Hills, 90210" star talked about how she does complain, but "I just don't complain in front of people" on a new episode of her "Let's Be Clear" podcast Monday. "I tend to be the person that cries in a closet by themselves."

Doherty was joined on the episode by her best friend, realtor Chris Cortazzo, and the two commiserated about appearing "to be very strong and warriors and we can get through everything, but we'll have breakdowns — but we're in a closet hiding having our breakdowns. I definitely do that," she said.

The actress, 52, added that she "100%" has times where she feels all of it and wishes for something different with her life. "But I always have to look at the other side and go, 'Well, what else would you be dealing with? And would it be as impactful and meaningful as this?'

"Obviously, my biggest thing is I just don't want to die too soon because I have a lot to accomplish, so that weighs heavy on my brain."

Shannen Doherty: Actress opens up about 'desperately' wanting a child amid breast cancer treatments

During the same episode, Doherty also shared "a morbid conversation" about her final arrangements with Cortazzo, the executor of the actress' will. She wants her remains to be "mixed" with her dog and her father – "I do not want to be buried and not cremated" – and when it comes to the attendees list for her funeral service, there's a "shorter" list of preferred folks and a "way too long" list of others.

"There's a lot of people that I think would show up that I don't want there," Doherty said, adding that she expects her funeral to "be like a love fest."

Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. She went into remission in 2017, but the cancer returned in 2019. She revealed on Instagram in June that cancer had spread to her brain amid her diagnosis with stage 4 breast cancer. She had the brain tumor surgically removed and underwent radiation.

In November, Doherty revealed that the cancer cells spread to her bones but she's still undergoing treatment and seeking clinical trials to join. A month later, she started "Let's Be Clear" as a "live memoir podcast."

Contributing: Naledi Ushe, KiMi Robinson

'I'm not done with life': Shannen Doherty shares update on stage 4 breast cancer

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Shannen Doherty breast cancer: Actress says she 'cries in a closet'