Stephen Colbert Roasts Trump, Promises Viewers ‘We’re Built for Rough Roads’ in Post-Election ‘Late Show’ Opening

Stephen Colbert struck a much different tone in the opening of Wednesday’s “Late Show,” offering his viewers a voice of compassion as they deal with the fallout of Donald Trump’s victory in Tuesday’s election.

“Hey there. How you doing? If you watch this show regularly, I’m guessing you’re not doing great,” Colbert began. “Yeah, me neither. Today, some people said to me, ‘Sorry you have to do a show tonight,’ which is nice of them to say but I don’t have to do a show. I get to do a show tonight.”

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Colbert then took time to express his gratitude for his crew, the audience at the Ed Sullivan Theater, and the viewers at home, “because, especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here.

“We’re gonna do a comedy show,” he continued. “We’re gonna do some jokes in just a minute because that’s what we do. And I’ll let you in on a little secret — no one gets into this business because everything in their life worked out great. So we’re built for rough roads.”

In the following monologue, Colbert got back to doing what he does best, skewering president-elect Trump following his victory over Vice President Kamala Harris.

“Well, f—. It happened. Again,” Colbert said. “After a bizarre and vicious campaign fueled by a desperate need not to go to jail, Donald Trump has won the 2024 election. The deep shock and sense of loss is enormous, ok. But let’s look at the bright side. This way, at least there’ll be a peaceful transfer of power. Mike Pence, olly-olly-oxen-free! All day yesterday I was walking around proudly wearing my ‘I Voted’ sticker. Today, I wore my ‘I am questioning my fundamental belief in the good of humanity’ sticker.”

“Now, as a late night host, people often say to me, ‘Come on, part of you has got to want Trump to win because he gives you so much material to work with,'” he continued. “No. No. No one tells the guy who cleans the bathroom ‘Wow, you must love it when someone has explosive diarrhea. There’s so much material for you to work with!'”

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