Tamar Braxton breaks down in tears discussing attempted suicide: 'I didn’t recognize myself anymore'
Tamar Braxton opened up about her mental health struggles — and it was a multi-tissue conversation.
The singer appeared on Monday’s Peace of Mind With Taraji on Facebook Watch to talk about her attempted suicide in July and the work she’s doing on a daily basis to improve her path.
“I know everybody thinks that Tamar is like ‘messy’ and ‘drama,’ but you know what? Let me tell you the truth of the matter is I was,” the Braxton Family Values and Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! star, 43, told Taraji P. Henson and her co-host Tracie Jade. “But you don’t know you’re toxic until you come out of being toxic.”
She pinpointed the time she first realized she wasn’t feeling “normal,” tracing it back to her messy departure from The Real in 2016. She said she took to her bedroom, didn’t shower, didn’t eat, didn’t know the day or time — “and you don’t care,” she said.
Braxton was able to pull herself out, however, she just returned to the “same toxic lifestyle,” having not addressed her underlying issues.
“From day to day, I was just barely sliding by,” Braxton said. “I just felt choked because it was no escape. I just didn’t see another way out.”
Among her list of problems, she said she was “estranged from my sisters,” referring to Toni, Traci, Towanda and Trina, and her mother, Evelyn, all of whom she worked with. As things culminated in July, she said her relationship with her fiancé at the time, David Adefeso, was “out of control.” Even her relationship with her 7-year-old son, Logan, with ex-husband Vincent Herbert was faltering, describing it as “surface,” saying, “Yeah, I made him some food, but I didn’t know if he liked it.” On top of that, she gained 50 pounds.
“I didn’t recognize myself anymore,” she said.
Breaking down in tears, Braxton said it was Logan behind her “making that decision,” referring to her suicide attempt, saying, “I just felt like he deserved better. I felt like I was embarrassing him. Being the fool on TV... I didn’t want him to be embarrassed in front of his friends,” and she felt he would be better without her.
Henson and Braxton embraced after her emotional admission and discussed how Braxton sharing her difficult journey would help so many people.
Braxton said of her struggle, “Facing yourself is sometimes harder than facing the world.” And she spoke about growing up in a family that didn’t discuss mental health or encourage going to therapy.
“No, we are Black people. We talk about nothing. We just deal with it. Because [seeing] a therapist would mean something is wrong with me,” she said. She noted that was a generational thing, as her mom projected the image of an “independent Black woman,” who could do anything or get over anything instead of showing her emotions or talking about her issues.
Braxton said she goes to therapy now every day “because I don’t have it figured out,” she admitted, but she is doing everything she can to try. She called therapy “the best thing I’ve ever done.”
She also spoke about being a much better and more present parent to Logan, saying, “I’m a real mother” now. She also spoke about having “a lot of conversations” every day with him, looking at the positives and negatives they are facing in their lives in an effort to improve themselves and their lives and reflect on lessons learned.
Peace of Mind with Taraji premiered Dec. 14 and sees Henson and Jade, who are best friends, spotlighting mental health issues — especially those in the Black community.
If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts, call 911, or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
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