Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz Share Cheating PSA After Past Scandals: ‘Don’t Have a F–king Affair’
Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz haven't always had success with being faithful in relationships — so now they’ve pivoted to teaching others about not cheating.
During the Thursday, December 21, episode of Sandoval's "Everybody Loves Tom" podcast, the duo reflected on the year that went down in Vanderpump Rules — and reality TV — history. Sandoval and Schwartz, both 41, had a lengthy but nonsensical chat about affairs before using their experience to appeal to listeners.
"You should give a PSA right now. If you're unhappy in your relationship [or] if you feel lost or have experienced feelings for a coworker and it's starting to escalate, don't do it," Schwartz said. "Don't do it. Just sit down and have that very uncomfortable conversation with your partner. Go to therapy, or just say it's over. Don't have a f–king affair."
Sandoval took a different approach by bringing the conversation back around to his own issues.
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"One thing that really kept me hanging on was the insecurity I had in myself,” he said. “I felt like. 'Oh, my gosh, I can't lose this other person because I'll never get this.' I had such an insecurity with myself that I felt if I let this go, it will never happen again. You can [find that again]. And banking on that is a much safer bet than staying and doing and living in that."
After going through numerous cheating scandals in the public eye, Sandoval broke down what led to those decisions.
"You become an addict. You cling on to that fling that you had. That euphoria and that feeling you have when you're with that person. You start to hide from the reality of the rest of your life. And you just become lost in that," he continued. "Dude, I look back on that now and I'm like, 'Holy s–t.' And Schwartz and other people around me, they saw me and I was f–king fixated and barely present."
Since Vanderpump Rules premiered on Bravo in 2013, viewers have watched just about every cast member get accused of cheating. In most cases, the accusations were true, and the person owned up to being unfaithful. Kristen Doute admitted in season 2 that she cheated on Sandoval with Jax Taylor, while Schwartz confessed to many indiscretions before — and after — his wedding to ex-wife Katie Maloney.
The Bravo universe, however, was rocked like never before this year because of a major infidelity scandal. Season 10 of Vanderpump Rules initially teased Schwartz's surprising hookup with Raquel Leviss as he tried to move on after Katie, 36, filed for divorce, but their fling was soon overshadowed by a different pairing.
Us Weekly confirmed in March that Sandoval and Ariana Madix called it quits on their nearly decade-long relationship because of his affair with Raquel, 29. Most of the Vanderpump Rules cast sided with Ariana, 38, as Schwartz remained the only star still on good terms with Sandoval and Raquel.
After filming season 11 of Vanderpump Rules earlier this year, Sandoval reflected on what he learned from his public scandal.
"I fully f–king regret it. I feel bad about it. I hate that I hurt people. I, for the most part, have been pretty f–king miserable," he said on his podcast in October. "I don’t ever, ever want to go through what I went through again. I don’t ever want to be responsible or the cause for ever hurting people like that."
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Sandoval went on to share what he would have done differently, adding, "I would have gotten out of my relationship [with Ariana], ripped the Band-Aid off and not delayed that whole scenario."
Schwartz, for his part, owned up to the mistakes earlier this year while addressing his failed marriage to Katie.
"I strayed a few times. There were times I thought the relationship was going to come to an end and I was a sloppy douchebag," he told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live in February. "I don't think I'll ever get married again. I'll fall in love, I just don't think I'll ever be married again."
