Tori Spelling Says She Was OK with Ex Dean McDermott Moving on Because She 'Mourned' Their Marriage Before Its Official End

"It was more my focus was just on the kids and taking care of them, and that was hard for them," Spelling said of seeing McDermott with his new girlfriend

Tori Spelling is looking back on the end of her marriage.

On the latest episode of her podcast misSPELLING, the actress, 51, reflected on her divorce from Dean McDermott. She shared that the split was a long time coming, and by the end, she was ready for it.

"There is that one final blowout fight, but it actually didn't come from me, it came from him,” she told guest Denise Richards. “He initiated the blowout fight, and, you know, I'm a lover, not a fighter. So it's hard for me."

Related: Tori Spelling Admits She Was Relieved When Dean McDermott Announced Their Split amid His Alcohol 'Spiral'

When Richards asked about how Spelling felt seeing photos of McDermott with another woman, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum admitted it doesn’t bother her.

"I grieved and mourned the relationship during it. So when that part happened, that part was okay," she explained of McDermott being photographed with girlfriend Lily Calo in October 2023. "It was more my focus was just on the kids and taking care of them, and that was hard for them. But his girlfriend, when I first saw a picture of them together, it's funny because my brain wanted to be like, ‘Oh, my gosh.’ You know, jealous.”

“My new thing is gut check, instinct,” she continued. “And I checked inside, and I was like, nope. I feel nothing. She's really pretty. And it has been that consistently.”

Related: Tori Spelling Reveals Why She Stayed 'Longer' in Her Marriage to Dean McDermott

Spelling also shared Calo has spend time with her family, she saying, “She was understandably a little nervous, I'm sure, to come into our house."

“She's amazing, and I'm grateful because you never know who your ex is gonna be with, and they're around your kids," she added.

As for the breakup post McDermott, with whom she shares five children, posted back in June 2023, Spelling clarified that there are no hard feelings between the two.

"He took it down and apologized in the moment,” she said. “He was reacting emotionally, and he was still drinking and, you know, he was in that spiral. But I gotta say, when I saw that post — inside, I was like, ‘Oh, thank God.’ Because I don't know if I could have done it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to be strong enough. I wanted to be that example.”

She added: “It had come to the point that the kids are no longer seeing a strong woman in the house, but I had gotten so deep into it that I would question it.”

Understanding that the former couple are now in a better place with one another, Spelling said her focus is co-parenting.

“We want it to go smoothly,” she noted. “I filed but we still have to work things out.”

Related: Tori Spelling Broke the News to Dean McDermott That She Was Filing for Divorce on Debut Episode of Her Podcast

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Spelling filed for divorce from McDermott on March 29 after 28 years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split. Their official date of separation was listed as June 17, 2023, the same day that McDermott posted his announcement.

In the filing, which was obtained by PEOPLE, Spelling asked for sole physical custody of their five minor children — Liam Aaron McDermott, 17, Stella Doreen, 16, Hattie Margaret, 12, Finn Davey, 11 and Beau Dean, 7 — and joint legal custody with McDermott's visitation rights to be determined at a later date.

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