How true-crime series 'A Friend of the Family' gets right what 'Dahmer' got wrong

This month a TV series premiered about a series of disturbing and heinous crimes committed by a seemingly innocuous white man, and it managed to neither exploit or disrespect his victims nor sensationalize his crime. It was a reserved, cautionary tale that sought to educate more than titillate.

I'm talking, of course, about Peacock's "A Friend of the Family." 

Did you think I meant Netflix's "Dahmer - Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story"? While that is also a true-crime story about a man who did truly evil things, it is not what anyone would call respectful.

Comparing "Dahmer" to "Friend," released a week later on a less prominent streaming service, provides case studies in true crime. The former is about one of the country's most notorious serial killers, who murdered and dismembered 17 men and boys in Ohio and Wisconsin between 1978 and 1991. The latter is about a pedophile who wormed his way into the lives of an Idaho family in the 1970s, preying on their young daughter.

Both are heinous acts that are difficult to contemplate, but "Dahmer" lacks the sensitivity and tact of "Friend." "Dahmer" has angered the families of the serial killer's victims, while "Family" was made with the cooperation of the survivor at the story's center.

To put it simply, "Friend" does true crime right, and "Dahmer" gets it disturbingly wrong.

"Dahmer," which jumped to the top of Netflix's top 10 list with shocking speed, has been roundly criticized by the families of the victims and critics as a work that retraumatizes those connected with the Dahmer crimes. Produced by Ryan Murphy, the series claims to be about "the underserved victims and their communities impacted by the systemic racism and institutional failures of the police that allowed one of America's most notorious serial killers to continue his murderous spree in plain sight," according to Netflix's description, but that is grasping at straws. "Dahmer" has also received flak for giving more airtime to the murderer's life and state of mind than his victims' dignity.

More: From texting suicide to child murder, why Hollywood should stay away from some true crime

As its title – which repeats "Dahmer" twice – suggests, the series is singularly focused on one deeply evil human, played by Murphy regular Evan Peters. The first few episodes are intensely focused on Dahmer's life, flashing back to his gruesome childhood and setting the stage for his future depravities. Even episodes that offer more screen time for Dahmer's victims, as the series seems to promise, get the balance wrong. The sixth installment – about victim Tony Hughes (Rodney Burford) – makes the most effort to prioritize the victim over the killer, but still ends with Dahmer literally consuming him.

"Friend" is the polar opposite of "Dahmer" when it comes to the portrayal of violence and horror. Where "Dahmer" explicitly shows the violent acts, "Friend" is tactful and vague about the abuse of predator Robert "B" Berchtold (Jake Lacy). Where "Dahmer" spotlights its "monster," "Friend" puts the emphasis on its survivor, Jan Broberg (Hendrix Yancey and then Mckenna Grace after a time jump) and her parents (Colin Hanks and Anna Paquin), who were also victimized in many ways by B. Where "Dahmer" focuses on what Dahmer did, "Friend" focuses on how B was able to do it.

More: Netflix goes all in on Jeffrey Dahmer with new 'Conversations With a Killer' documentary

"Friend" never equivocates about the horrible things B did. The man was a pillar of his small community and used his charm to manipulate his way into the Broberg family, eventually kidnapping Jan twice in the space of two years, molesting and brainwashing her in the process. But it doesn't linger, in its camera work or dialogue, on the particulars of child abuse. It does focus on how child abuse can occur in any family, anywhere, even in a respectable Idaho town where no one locks their doors. It's about how the Broberg family is ripped apart, and how young Jan is forever scarred by what happened to her. "Friend" is less about the criminal and more about a cautionary tale about the survivors.

True crime remains one of the most popular TV genres, and while our fascination in turning real horror into entertainment is concerning in its own right, these two series illustrate that some are more adept at bringing these stories to the small screen. They don't have to be exploitative or gratuitous. They don't have to center on the perpetrators. They don't have to be about generating hateful headlines and awards-bait performances. They can be a vehicle to discover society's bigger failings and give light to victims and survivors.

If we have to make it at all, true crime TV can be just a little less awful.

More: Jeffrey Dahmer series is gruesome. It's also No.1 on Netflix. What does that say about us?

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Dahmer': What it got wrong and what 'Friend of the Family' got right