'Vanderpump Rules' Is Back (And Stassi Won't Go Away)
Yes, Vanderpump Rules fans: The bitch is back… whether we want her back or not.
Even though she hasn’t worked at SUR for two seasons now, self-appointed queen bee Stassi has deigned to appear on the new season of Bravo’s trashtastic reality show, debuting November 2. And the fact that her arrival is the highlight of the new Season 4 trailer… is not a great sign for Season 4.
Related: The Best and Worst of ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Season 3, in GIFs
The final moments of the trailer (posted above) find Stassi waltzing back onto the show as Scheana snipes that “her perfect life… is crumbling right now.” Stassi is desperate enough to sit down with her slimy ex Jax, even cooing to him, “Can I tell you what I want?” We never get the answer… but duh, it’s more airtime, obviously.
More highlights from the Season 4 trailer:
* Kristen’s DJ boyfriend James dumping her (hee hee — sorry, our schadenfreude is showing) for the new SUR girl in town, Lala, who shows us how edgy she is by making out with a girl and shoving people. Lala says that “some people call me a bitch, but I just call it ‘having a f–king badass life.’” Okay!
* Scheana’s new husband Shay revealing an addiction to alcohol and pills — a very sensitive subject that we’re sure Vanderpump Rules will handle with the respect and dignity it deserves.
* Kristen declaring, “I’m the most powerful bitch in the world.” Take that, German Chancellor Angela Merkel!
* Tom Schwartz finally (finally!) getting down on one knee and proposing to his long-suffering girlfriend Katie. And it looks like he managed to find a ring without a string on it!
* The ever-detestable Jax getting thrown in jail (again), convincing some poor girl to get a boob job for him, and actually feeling his age, even saying, “I would like to settle down at some point” (!). Of course, for Jax, “some point” means when his smug bad-boy persona stops working with the ladies. Which, unfortunately, is never.
Sure, you might condemn us for wasting our valuable time on this earth watching these people — but hey, we can’t help it if we have a f–king badass life.
Season 4 of Vanderpump Rules premieres Monday, Nov. 2 at 9 p.m. on Bravo.