A Fond Farewell to 'Car Talk'

Ray and Tom. Photo: Wendy Maeda/The Boston Globe/Getty Images

Count me among the millions saddened yesterday by the passing of Car Talk co-host Tom Magliozzi. Every Saturday morning, for years, maybe a decade, I’d start my weekend with a cup of coffee and Car Talk on the radio. I don’t own a car, but I loved that show. Wheels or no wheels, the appeal of Car Talk was all about Tom and Ray Magliozzi, better known to their legions of fans as Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers. Their Boston accents, the way they teased their callers and each other, and their inimitable laughter made for one addictive, hilarious, easy-listening package.

At its core, the show was about relationships more than matters mechanical. Tom and Ray were truly the Dear Abby of the automotive set. While the dueling couples and jittery fiancés who called in were quite funny, the most memorable segments, for me at least, had to do with edible issues. There was the dog food dispenser episode, for example. “I had the air conditioner on,” began the caller. “I looked over and on the front passenger side, the air conditioner vent was raining dog food. You know, the crunchy kind.”

“Doesn’t anyone screen these calls?” howled the brothers.

Then there was the seafood incident, which involved “a huge bag of crab" left in a Mercedes-Benz. “A huge bag of what?” asked the brothers.

“Crab. King crab,” said the caller. “I put it in the back of my car, and then I drove home and I put my car in the garage, the heated garage, and I had left the crab in the back of the car. Well, the crab melted and juice leaked in the back of the car. This was six months ago. I have shampooed the car. I’ve put ammonia… I’ve talked to everyone. I can’t find the exact smell. I took it to the dealership… They quoted me $5,000 to remove the carpet and re-carpet it.”

“What you need for the car,” they counseled, “is a fire.”

But perhaps the funniest episode, which had absolutely nothing to do with cars, was when the brothers read the “See Food Diet," which was sent in by a caller. They billed this as a way to keep “slim and trim” and be “attractive to the opposite sex.” Tom and Ray were so amused while reading the diet out loud, they could barely get through the list without breaking into hysterics. It’s 2 minutes and 45 seconds of radio brilliance. Listen and try not to laugh along.

Here’s the diet:

Breakfast: half a grapefruit; one slice of whole-wheat toast, dry, and eight ounces of skim milk.

Lunch: four ounces of lean, broiled chicken breast; one cup of steamed spinach; one cup herb tea, one Oreo cookie.

Mid-afternoon snack: the rest of the Oreos in the package; two pints of rocky road ice cream; one jar of hot fudge sauce; nuts; cherries, and whipped cream.

Dinner: two loaves of garlic bread with cheese; one sausage, mushroom, and cheese pizza, and three Milky Way candy bars.

Late evening news: entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from the freezer.

“Oh brother,” they said, between cracking up, snorting, and slapping their desks.

On the program’s website yesterday, Ray counseled and consoled bereaved Car Talk fans about his brother’s passing. “We can be happy that he lived the life he wanted to live; goofing off a lot, talking to you guys every week, and primarily, laughing his ass off.”

Still, Saturdays won’t be the same.

Are you a Car Talk fan? Share your favorite memory of the show.